


Pictures

by didntwanderstillgotlost



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Background Charlie/Gilda, Background Sabriel, Bi!Dean, Bi!Gabriel, Bi!sam, Destiel - Freeform, Human AU, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mention of Sam/ Jessica, Mention of abuse, Pan!Cas, mechanic!Dean, mention of Dean/Lisa - Freeform, no actual smut, photographer!cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:40:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 55
Words: 79,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21818305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/didntwanderstillgotlost/pseuds/didntwanderstillgotlost
Summary: This AU has been sitting in my folder forever and I finally decided to share it. This will be updated every Tuesday around 3pm Central Time.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury/Gilda, Gabriel/Sam Winchester
Comments: 61
Kudos: 89





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This AU has been sitting in my folder forever and I finally decided to share it. This will be updated every Tuesday around 3pm Central Time.

Cas snapped a couple more photos before he set his camera on the booth beside him. He looked down at the papers scattered around on the table. He was looking for something, but he didn’t exactly know what. He was out of ides, and he was running out of time. He thought art school was supposed to be fun, which it was, but he still didn’t have a topic for his final assignment, and the deadline was in less than three months. He shuffled through his papers. He had plenty of snapshots and drawings that were decent, but nothing that screamed “final project”. He sighed and picked at the cold food on his plate.

His phone buzzed for the eighteenth time in the last thirty minutes. He knew who it was, and he wasn’t going to answer it. His ex-girlfriend had been calling and texting him nonstop for the last few weeks, trying to get back together with him. It wasn’t that he didn’t love her, he did, he just wasn’t _in love_ with her. She was…boring. He had wanted to do his final project on her, but…there was nothing there to work with. She had no life. No…energy.

His phone started ringing, interrupting the music he wasn’t listening to. He recognized the ringtone and smiled. He clicked the button on his earbuds to answer the call.

“Hey, buzzkill.”

“Hey, scatterbrain. What’s up?”

“Slowly going mad. You?”

“Pretty sure Singer’s one more mistake away from canning Martin, so thing’s’ve been kinda tense around here. Not bad otherwise. You talk to Tessa lately?”

“Trying not to.”

“Please do. She’s stopped by the garage almost every day for the past week, trying to find you. She’s driving me crazy.”

“She’ll get over it,” Cas said lazily. He was used to this. His brother should have been, too, by now. Every time he went looking for a muse, it would turn into a whirlwind romance that inevitably ended when there was no longer a spark. People could only hold his interest for so long.

“Well, if it takes her as long as it took Greg then I’m gonna have to get a new job.”

“Give it a week, Gabriel.” His older brother sighed.

“Why do you have to be like this? Why can’t you just have a normal relationship?”

“Because normal is so _boring_. I want adventure, and risk, and wild, kinky sex.”

“Whoa, hey! I don’t need to know that!” Cas chuckled.

“Like you don’t do worse. Listen, if you find anything that might inspire me, let me know. I’m blocked and I’ve got a deadline.”

“That’s a bit like asking me to find a car I can’t fix. It’s nearly impossible, but I’ll do my best. And it wouldn’t kill you to call me once in a while. I like to know you’re at least still alive.”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry. I always mean to, I just get distracted. I’ll call you next week.”

“No, you won’t.” Cas could hear the smile in Gabriel’s voice. “Later, Cas.” Gabriel hung up and music filled Cas’s ears again. He smiled to himself. He loved his older brother more than anyone. Gabriel had practically raised him. Even when they had next to no money, and were on the verge of being homeless, Gabriel had always found a way to help Cas pursue his passion.

Cas had always been something of a…free spirt. He was easily distracted, and nothing kept his attention for longer than a few months. There had been one exception to that, but she wasn’t someone he cared to think about very often anymore. Some things were just better left in the past.

He looked through all his sketches, drawings, paintings, watercolors, and digital prints. There was nothing there. Nothing that was worthy of his attention for as long as his assignment would take, anyway. He sighed, and gathered his papers. He tucked them into his messenger bag before pulling out his laptop. It was looking more and more like he was going to have to use his fall back plan.

He had saved his favorite photos from every relationship he had ever had since the age of sixteen. It was only six years, but there were close to a hundred different people. All different ages, races, ethnicities, body types, and genders; all of them just as beautiful as the last. He had been contemplating compiling them all, and calling it “Lost in Love”. Then he met Tessa and thought he had finally found his muse. Turned out, she just liked having her picture taken. There was no depth to her, so he was back to his original plan.

He clicked through a few more photos before his alarm went off, telling him it was time to get back to his apartment. He had alarms set for everything, because if he didn’t he would forget. Sometimes he still forgot, even with the alarms. He gathered his stuff, changed his playlist for the walk back, and slid out of the booth. He was looking at his phone, skipping through songs to find one he liked, and he didn’t notice the tall brunette walking through the door until it was too late.

“Shit! I’m sorry, are you okay?” Cas blinked up at the man standing above him. He was gorgeous. Beyond gorgeous. He was…exquisite. Sharp, yet delicate features, face brushed with a light dusting of freckles, and green eyes so vivid he thought he was staring at actual emeralds. The man belonged in a museum, with a “Please Do Not Touch the Artwork” sign. Without thinking, Cas raised his camera and snapped a picture. Then he took the man’s hand, and let him pull him to his feet.

“I’m fine,” Cas said as he picked up his bag. “It was my fault. I wasn’t paying attention. I do that. And sorry about,” he indicated his camera. “You just…I never like to forget a pretty face, but I don’t have the best memory, so,” Cas shrugged then smiled. “Anyway, see ya.” He picked a song, and started the three block walk back to his apartment, a small smile on his face.

He unlocked the door, tossed his keys on the cluttered counter, dropped his bag on the only chair that wasn’t piled with stuff, and dropped to his knees to greet the overexcited little fur ball nipping at his worn Converse. His smile broadened as he scratched the Jack Russell terrier behind her ears.

“Hey, Maggie. Miss me?” Maggie responded by jumping into his arms and licking his face. He laughed. “I’ll take that as a yes. I missed you, too.” Cas carried her to the couch and set her next to him. He had thought about making Maggie the subject of his project, being named after Margaret Bourke-White, but even she didn’t have enough depth for him. He needed something more complex. He scrolled through his contacts. He thought about contacting some of his classmates for help, but…that wasn’t him. He had to find his own muse or it wouldn’t feel right.

He took the card out of his camera and put it in his computer. Once all his photos were downloaded, he sifted through them. Some of them didn’t interest him as much as he had thought they would, so he scraped them. When he got to the last picture, of the guy from the coffee shop, he stopped. He should have gotten a name. Someone that gorgeous had to have a name to match. It was a pity he would probably never see the man again because he looked like someone he would like to photograph.

There was something in his eyes, Cas noticed. They held so much more than the man would ever admit out loud. He was hurting, but he seemed like the kind of person to keep a lot inside. There were emotions to dig out. That’s what Cas wanted. Someone who didn’t show everything all the time. Someone who didn’t look the same in every single picture.

He dragged the picture into his “Lost in Love” portfolio. Sure, he didn’t know the stranger’s name, but he could be the last picture. The love that never was. Whoever he was, he seemed like the kind of guy Cas could so easily fall for. He might even stick around for more than two weeks. At least a month. He smiled to himself, imagining all the things he would like to do to that man, if given the chance. His phone rang, startling him out of his happy place.

“Hello?”

“I’m sorry, Cas.” Tessa was crying. “Please, I can be better. Just take me back. Please.”

“Tessa, this isn’t healthy. Delete my number, go to a bar, and hook up. You’ll forget about me inside of a week.”

“I don’t wanna forget you, Cas. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Tessa, but we don’t work.”

“What does that even mean?!”

“I need something different. I’m sorry.” Cas hung up and blocked the number. It was cold, but he didn’t want to deal with it. He had more important things to worry about than his ex’s feelings. She would get over him eventually. Everyone did, it just took some time. A message popped up on the screen.

**Charlotte? [4:15pm]:** Hey Cas

 **Cas [4:15pm]:** Hey

Cas was careful about using names until he was sure of them. It always took him a few times before he could remember a person’s name, unless it was unique. “Charlotte” was only a guess. He knew her name started with a “C”, but that was just about all he could remember.

**Charlotte? [4:16pm]:** Find your muse yet?

 **Cas [4:16pm]:** I wish. How are your bridges?

 **Charlotte? [4:17pm]:** Finished! I’ll show you after class on Monday.

 **Cas [4:18pm]:** Great!

While he may not have known her actual name, Cas liked Charlotte. She was fun, and exciting. She was also incredibly talented. Her work was rough yet elegant. It was incredible.

**Charlotte? [3:19pm]:** I may have a project for you. If you’re interested.

 **Cas [3:20pm]:** Always interested, never for the same length of time.

 **Charlotte? [3:21pm]:** I’ve noticed. My friend just kinda had his entire life shit on. Thought you might be able to do something with the sad puppy look he’s got going on right now.

Cas considered it. He liked sad puppy looks, especially on attractive people. It couldn’t hurt him, he decided. At least for a week or so. Something to take his mind of his assignment for a little while.

**Cas [3:24pm]:** Sure. Tell him I’ll meet him at the coffee shop on Canal. Tomorrow. Noonish.

 **Charlotte? [3:25pm]:** So anywhere between 11 and 1.

 **Cas [3:26pm]:** Exactly. I’ll be at the table with the papers all over the place. Can’t miss it.

 **Charlotte? [3:27pm]:** I’ll let him know. Thanks Cas. He needs this.

 **Cas [3:28pm]:** No problem. I need something to distract me anyway.

Cas set his phone on the couch and clicked on the TV. He looked down at Maggie, who was sitting in his lap.

“What do you think? I got a shot?” Maggie barked twice. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I shouldn’t get involved with a friend’s friend. Oh well.” He scrolled through his Netflix, settling on a random show because he knew he would only change it half way through an episode. He always did that. He could barely get through a half-hour program. Hour long ones usually required a break or two, and movies were out of the question. Those could take him weeks to finish. He stared at the TV, once again thinking about the stranger from the coffee shop.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean was having a shitty day all around. His girlfriend of three years broke up with him and kicked him out of their shared apartment, his car got impounded, and he got suspended from work for two weeks after he accidentally called a customer a dipshit to her face. He just wanted to grab a cup of coffee from his favorite shop, flirt with the cute guy behind the counter without being too obvious, and then beg his best friend to let him crash on her couch until he got his life together. Of course, he couldn’t even do that. He was barely half a step into the coffee shop when someone slammed into him.

“Shit! I’m sorry, are you okay?” he said on instinct, even though he knew it wasn’t his fault. He held out his hand to the attractive dark-haired man that was now on the floor. The man looked up, stared for a moment, then snapped a picture of him with a camera that looked like it easily cost a thousand dollars. Then he took Dean’s hand and let him pull him up.

“I’m fine,” he said as he picked up his bag. “It was my fault. I wasn’t paying attention. I do that. And sorry about” he gestured to his camera. “You just…I never like to forget a pretty face, but I don’t have the best memory so” he shrugged then smiled. “Anyway, see ya.” The man walked out the door, his eyes on his phone. Dean spun around and watched him walk up the block. He didn’t even know the guy’s name.

 _Smooth, Winchester. Real smooth._ Dean shook his head and walked to the counter. He got his usual black coffee, paid, and left. His phone started ringing. He pulled it out of his pocket.

“Hello, Your Highness.”

“What’s up, Handmaiden?” Dean grinned in spite of himself. He could always count on Charlie to put a smile on his face.

“Not a lot. I was actually just about to call you. Any chance I can crash in your spare room for a bit?”

“You and Lisa get into another fight?”

“Kinda. She broke up with me this morning.”

“What!? Why!?”

“Long list of reasons I’d rather not get into over the phone.”

“Fine. You’re more than welcome to crash here, you know that. We’ll talk when you get here.”

“Deal. I’m gonna stop by Sammy’s. Figure he should probably hear this from me, and I haven’t seen him in a few weeks. I’ll probably be around somewhere near five.”

“All right. See ya. I love you.”

“I know.” Dean tucked his phone back in his pocket and chugged his coffee. He didn’t want to talk about Lisa, but he knew Charlie was going to press for answers. Answers he didn’t have. He didn’t really know what had happened. Two weeks ago he had been contemplating asking Lisa to marry him. Now, he was single, homeless, and carless. This wasn’t where he had thought he would be at twenty-six.

His mind wandered back to the stranger he had run into. He wished he had gotten a name, or _something_. Anything that could be used to identify him. Not that it mattered. Dean had more important things to worry about than meeting someone. Like finding an affordable apartment and getting his car back. He unlocked the door to his brother’s apartment. Sam had given him a key for emergencies, and he had completely abused the privilege until he moved in with Lisa.

“Heya, Sammy!” he called.

“It’s Sam,” Sam grumbled, coming out of the kitchen. “What are you doing here, Dean?”

“What? I can’t visit my baby brother?” Dean surveyed Sam and shook his head. “Did you have another growth spurt, man? You’re the size of a tree.”

“Thanks, Dean.” They hugged for a minute. “You want a beer?”

“Sure.” Dean sat on the couch and kicked his boots up on the coffee table. He looked around the apartment. Something felt off, but he couldn’t quite figure out what. Sam handed him a beer, and sat beside him.

“How are you?”

“Good enough,” Dean shrugged. “Lise and me broke up. I’m staying with Charlie ’til I find a place. Bobby suspended me from work for two weeks, and Baby got impounded.”

“Good Lord, Dean. Sounds like you need something stronger than beer.”

“Maybe, but—.”

“I know, you’re off the hard stuff. I’m proud of you for that, by the way.” Dean half smiled.

“Thanks, Sammy. How’s Jessica?” Sam swallowed some beer before responding.

“We broke up. We just…outgrew each other, I guess. I still love her, but it wasn’t working. She moved out last week. We’re still friends.”

“Well, I’m sorry about the breakup, but it’s good you’re still friends. I liked her.”

“Why’d you and Lisa break up?”

“She went on a long rant this morning about how I have no direction, or ambition, then she told me I had to have my stuff moved out by the end of next week.”

“Wow. What a bitch.”

“Agreed. I’m fine, though. I’ve got my friends, and I’ve got you.” Dean stayed at Sam’s, talking about nothing until about four, then he left for Charlie’s, shooting her a text that he was on his way as he walked out the door.

**Charlie [4:05pm]:** I got something to run by you when you get here

 **Dean [4:05pm]:** ???

 **Charlie [4:06pm]:** Don’t worry about it, it’s nothing bad

 **Dean [4:06pm]:** Ok

Dean trusted Charlie, he just didn’t like when people were cryptic about favors. Maybe she just didn’t want to ask it over the phone. She had said not to worry about it, so he wasn’t going to worry about it. He scrolled through his phone as he walked the six blocks from Sam’s apartment to Charlie’s. He thought about calling Bobby and begging him not to suspend him, but he knew that wasn’t fair. If Bobby let him off the hook it would be a clear show of favoritism.

He stopped when he got to Lisa’s name. He knew he should just delete her number and be done with it, but he could quite do it yet. He loved her. Maybe she would change her mind. He doubted it. They had had a pretty rocky year. He should’ve seen it coming, really. She was miles out of his league. It was a miracle she had stayed with him as long as she had.

Dean unlocked the door to Charlie’s apartment. Everyone seemed to trust him with there spare keys, so he had about a dozen keys on his key ring, and none of them belonged to him.

“Honey, I’m home!” he called. Charlie laughed, and hugged him. “Thanks for letting me stay.”

“Of course.” She pecked his cheek. “Now, I want the story.” Dean sighed.

“All right, all right. I was minding my own business this morning, eating breakfast, when Lisa came in screaming about how I had no direction, and no ambition, and I would never amount to anything. Then she told me I had to have everything out by the end of next week, and she left for her morning class. I just sat there, trying to process what happened. And then I had to go to work, so I didn’t really have _time_ to process it. When I got downstairs, Baby was gone. Lisa texted me saying she had my car impounded. I took a cab to work, was there for about three hours, then accidentally called this old bitch a dipshit to her face, and Bobby suspended me.”

“Oh my, God, Dean.”

“It was just one of those days.”

“I can’t believe she got your car impounded. That’s, like, the bitchiest move ever.”

“I didn’t even do anything to her. I did everything I could to make her happy.” Dean sighed. “I guess I was kidding myself, thinking someone like her would ever actually stay with someone like me.”

“What does that mean? You’re awesome!”

“Thanks, kiddo, but my abundance of personality doesn’t make up for my lack of ambition. I mean, she’s a business major for God’s sake. I’m a mechanic. It was only a matter of time before this happened. It doesn’t matter. I’ll get over it. What did you wanna run by me?”

“Oh!” Charlie’s eyes lit up. “I was talking to a friend of mine earlier. He likes taking pictures of people and I thought he could use your sad puppy look for his collection.”

“I do not have a sad puppy look.” Dean crossed his arms.

“Come on. Just have a cup of coffee with him. Please? It would help him out, and it would mean a lot to me. Please?” Charlie gave Dean her infamous puppy eyes. He groaned.

“Fine, fine, fine. _One_ cup of coffee. That’s it.”

“Oh, thank you!”

“You’re very annoying.”

“I know. You love me anyway.”

“Unfortunately, yes. What’s this guy like?”

“He’s…different. He’s easily distracted until he finds something that really catches his attention. Let him talk until he asks you a question, and give him a detailed answer. It might not seem like he’s paying attention, but he is. He doesn’t really do eye contact. He prefers to look at people through a camera lens. He always has at least one earbud in. He will take up the entire table with his art. Don’t touch any of it. He’s sensitive about it. He’s also very flirty. It’s just his personality, but he’ll turn anything he can into a dirty joke or innuendo, so watch what you say.”

“This guy isn’t, like, secretly a serial killer, is he?” Dean asked. He was suddenly very nervous. Charlie laughed.

“No, no, he’s just odd. Trust me, he’s about as harmful as a bumblebee.”

“All right. I’ll give it a shot.”

“You’re the best.”

“I try.”

“ _Game of Thrones_?”

“Yes, please.” Dean settled into the couch while Charlie popped the DVD in.


	3. Chapter 3

Cas moved around the garage, taking dozens of pictures as Gabriel worked under the hood of a bright red sports car that had “douchebag” written all over it. It was a beautiful color, though, and Cas couldn’t resist getting in a few shots while he waited for his brother to take a break. He liked hanging around the auto shop. There were always different cars which meant there were always more pictures to take. Most of the cars were old and run down, but every so often there were a few that really caught his attention.

Cas let the camera dangle around his neck. Gabriel hadn’t once looked up and Cas admired his concentration. He knew it couldn’t be easy to work with someone taking pictures. He also appreciated that Gabriel didn’t seem to mind. He was about to wander outside when a slightly familiar face walked in.

“Hey, Novak!” Cas was startled for a second before he realized the man was talking to his brother.

“What’s up, Lose-chester? Thought you got suspended?”

“Just here for my check. Bobby in his office?”

“Always.”

“Great.” Cas stared as the man walked through the door marked ‘Office’.

“Who’s that?”

“Dean Winchester,” Gabriel said, popping a Tootsie pop into his mouth. “Best mechanic here. He’s one of Singer’s nephews.” Cas tore his gaze away from the door and saw that his older brother had his eyebrow raised. “You can’t be serious?”

“He’s so pretty I could cry,” Cas said.

“You’re ridiculous.”

“I’m sorry, are you blind?”

“He’s good-looking, but he’s…I dunno, not my type I guess.” Cas flicked his tongue over his lips. His brother had always been very picky about the people he dated. He never understood it. And regardless, Dean Winchester was every person’s wet dream. Cas was startled out of his fantasy when his phone pinged. He pulled it out of his pocket.

**Charlotte? [2:12pm]:** So what happened to meeting my friend?

Damn it. Cas knew he had been forgetting something, but he wanted to see his brother and he figured that whatever it was hadn’t been important.

**Cas [2:12pm]:** Sorry! I went to see my brother. I’ll make it up to him. I’ll spend all day tomorrow with him.

 **Charlotte? [2:14pm]:** Promise?

 **Cas [2:14pm]:** Yes I promise. Call me in the morning. I’ll meet him for breakfast.

 **Charlotte? [2:15pm]:** Thank you

 **Cas [2:15pm]:** No problem

“Problem?” Gabriel asked as he closed the hood on the car.

“I just forgot I was supposed to be somewhere this morning.”

“Of course you did.”

“So why was Dean suspended?”

“He called a customer a dipshit. In front of her.”

“You’re kidding!” Gabriel shook his head, a small smile on his face.

“Not even a little. He called this woman a dipshit to her face. I don’t think he meant to, and he wasn’t wrong, but she wasn’t going to shut up until Singer suspended him.”

“Damn. How old is he?”

“Twenty-six, I think.”

“Straight?”

“Bi.”

“Beautiful.” The office door opened, and Dean Winchester walked back out. Cas raised his camera and snapped a few pictures before he even realized what he was doing. Dean frowned at him.

“Why do you keep taking pictures of me?” Cas narrowed his eyes a little, his head tilting slightly to the right. He sounded irritated, but it didn’t seem directed _at_ him. More like he just had a frustrating day.

“I like taking pictures, and you’re interesting.”

“Please stop,” Dean said before addressing Gabriel. “Bobby said I’m not suspended, so I guess I’ll see you bright and early Monday morning.”

“I figured. He wasn’t gonna lose his best mechanic for two weeks because some stuck up bitch made a scene. See ya Monday, Winchester.”

“Later, Novak.” Dean walked out of the garage, and Cas groaned.

“You’re quite the charmer,” Gabriel teased, sucking on his lollipop.

“Shut up. How do you _work_ with him? And why have you never mentioned him before?” Cas bit his lip. “God, the things I would do to that man.”

“That’s why. Now if this is all you’re gonna talk about, I’ll spend my break with someone else.”

“All right, all right. Sorry.” Cas followed his brother out behind the garage to the small picnic table.

“How are your classes going?”

“Slow. I’m almost done though. Three more months, and all my finals are done except for one.”

“Haven’t found your muse yet?”

“Nope.”

“You’ll get there.”

“I better. This project is worth half my grade.” Cas fiddled with his earbud.

“Why do you always do that? Why can’t you just talk to people?”

“Outside noise distracts me. It’s easier for me to focus this way.” He lifted his camera and snapped a picture. Gabriel rolled his eyes, but didn’t say anything. Cas liked spending time with his brother. Gabriel was the only family he really had left. They were the black sheep of their family. They had been sticking together for as long as Cas could remember. As soon as he got accepted to Stanford, Gabriel had helped him pack, and moved them both across the country. And if that wasn’t selfless enough, he also took the money out of his own college fund to help Cas pay for classes.

“What are you gonna do after college? I mean, are you gonna get a job, or what?”

“I think I’m gonna try to sell my art online. If that doesn’t work out, I’ll figure something out. I always do.”

“That you do.”

“Is Dean single?”

“Really, Cas?”

“Last question, I promise.”

“Yes. He just got out of a three-year relationship, and he’s pretty broken up about it.” Cas nodded. He stayed and talked with his brother for the rest of his thirty minute break, then he took a cab back to his apartment. He hated driving. It was too monotonous. He preferred walking over anything else, but sometimes he was just too tried. Today was one of those days. Cas dropped onto the couch and scratched Maggie behind her ears. Then he took out his laptop and uploaded all his new photos. He skipped through them until he got to the end. Dean’s shock, and underlying anger, were captured perfectly. Cas pulled Maggie into his lap.

“What do you think?” Maggie wagged her tail. “Obviously he’s cute. What do you think’s wrong with him?” Maggie barked a few times. Cas sighed. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe there’s nothing wrong with him.” He was curious though. Gabriel had said Dean had just gotten out of a three-year relationship, and he was really broken up about it. That told Cas that Dean had been dumped, which begged the question, who the fuck had been dumb enough to let someone so intricately beautiful go? It was baffling. No one in their right mind would willingly let go of someone so unique. Cas would, of course, because no one could hold his interest forever, but he was the exception to a lot of rules. No _normal_ person would have let Dean get away, let alone _push_ him away.

 _Maybe he has a shitty personality_ , Cas thought, but he doubted it. Gabriel would’ve said something if he did, so that couldn’t be the problem.

“Whoever dumped him is probably just a jackass,” he muttered. Maggie barked happily, and Cas chuckled. That was probably it. He had met his share of assholes. Hell, _he_ was an asshole, and he knew it. He could ask Gabriel what he knew about Dean’s ex, but he knew how that conversation would go, so he just decided he was right. Dean was great and his ex was a douche.

Cas scrolled through his phone. Maybe he would try something with Charlotte’s friend, if he proved to be interesting enough. It still wasn’t a great idea, but at least he and Charlotte weren’t that close. They would probably stop talking after college anyway. Maggie barked, and nipped at his hand.

“I know, I know, I’m a terrible person, but I _need_ to get laid. Who knows, maybe he’ll be the one to finally tie me down.” Maggie tilted her head. “Yeah, yeah, okay, probably not. But maybe. These kinds of things usually come out of nowhere.” If Maggie could roll her eyes, Cas was sure she would have. He didn’t believe in any of that. He didn’t even really believe in falling in love. Not for life. There were too many interesting people in the world. Once he had money, if he ever had money, he wanted to travel the world.

He wanted to see beautiful places, and meet exotic people, and have sex at all seven wonders of the world. He wasn’t built for monogamy, and he wasn’t going to force himself into it just so he could fit in with society. If he happened to meet someone he liked enough to stick around for, great, but he wasn’t actively looking for anyone. His phone rang in his hand.

“Hey, buzzkill.”

“Hey, scatterbrain. We still on for dinner?”

“Whenever you’re free.”

“Singer needs me to close. I’ll pick you up around eight.”

“Okay.”

“And remember, you said no sex jokes.” Cas laughed.

“I will do my best, but I won’t promise anything.”

“I guess that’s all I can ask for. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Later, Gabe.” Cas put his phone back in his pocket. He had three hours to kill and he was restless. He picked Maggie up and set her on the floor. “Come on, let’s go for a walk.” He grabbed his headphones, camera, and keys. He never put Maggie on a leash. They were restricting, and Maggie was a good girl. She always came when he called, and she never really wandered too far.

Cas flipped through his playlists until he found one he could live with. Then he let his eyes scan his surroundings. He had already photographed most of his neighborhood, but he never went anywhere without his camera, just in case something caught his eye. There was always something new to look at. Nothing ever stayed the same, not really. No matter how hard people tried, nothing ever stayed exactly the same. It was one of the many things Cas loved about life. There was always something new.

Cas let Maggie lead the way, as he often did. He never really had a destination in mind when he took her for walks, so he let her decide. It was better that way. He was more likely to find something new to take a picture of. So he followed Maggie down the street, letting his mind wander. Of course, it wandered to Dean.


	4. Chapter 4

By some strange twist of fate Dean had run into the guy with the camera again and he _still_ hadn’t gotten his name. He was already annoyed because Charlie’s friend had stood him up, he didn’t need some random person he didn’t know taking pictures of him. His day did get a little better when Bobby told him he wasn’t suspended, though. And he got Baby back, so the day hadn’t been a total bust. He walked into the apartment and hung his keys on the hook.

“Hey, Charlie!”

“Hey, Dean.” Charlie came out of the back bedroom. “I talked to my friend. He went to visit his brother and lost track of time. He said he’ll spend the whole day with you tomorrow. Meet him for breakfast at the coffee shop.” Dean sighed.

“Why do I feel like you’re trying to set me up with this guy?”

“I would never,” Charlie gasped. “Seriously, I just think you guys would get along.”

“All right. I’m trusting you here.”

“Thank you. Now, you said you have good news.”

“I got Baby back and Bobby told me I’m not suspended. So, two out of three things resolving themselves isn’t bad.” Charlie smiled.

“That’s great, Dean!” She hugged him.

“I feel a little better. Now I just have to go over to the apartment some time next week and get my stuff. That should be fun.”

“How about I go over tomorrow and get your stuff, and give Lisa a piece of my mind, while you’re out?”

“That’s all right, Charlie. I need to do this. I’m an adult. I’ll go over after work on Monday.”

“Okay. So what did you end up doing today?”

“Nothing really. I waited around until about three, and then I stopped by the garage and got my paycheck. I met someone who I think might be Gabe’s brother. I didn’t get a name, but they looked alike.”

“Oh. What’s he like?”

“He seems nice. He’s a little odd.”

“Define odd.”

“Well, I actually met him yesterday when he quite literally ran into me. He took my picture, then apologized and said he never likes to forget a pretty face. Then today he kept taking pictures of me. When I asked him why he said he likes taking pictures and he thinks I’m interesting.”

“Sounds like someone has a crush,” Charlie said with a small smile. Dean shook his head.

“Maybe, but it doesn’t matter. Even if I were in a place where I wanted to start dating, if he’s Gabe’s brother that could get weird.”

“Things are only weird if you make them weird.” She wasn’t wrong, but Dean knew better. He wasn’t in a good place anyway. He was better off forgetting about him. He wrapped his blanket around himself and snuggled into the couch. He wanted to be sad. Why wasn’t he allowed to do that? He had never really had a serious relationship before, and it had blown up in his face. He had a right to be upset.

Dean wasn’t the type to fall in love easily, but he had been head over heels for Lisa the second he met her. He told her he loved her two months into their relationship, and asked her to move in with him after only six. They had been living in that apartment, which was solely in Lisa’s name, for two and a half years when Lisa woke up the other morning and decided to end their relationship.

She wasn’t nice about it, either, which hurt the most. She didn’t do anything to try and soften the blow. She just came out and said that they were on different paths, and she needed to be with someone who actually had some direction. Dean had been too stunned to even argue. He just sat there while Lisa told him he needed to have his stuff out of the apartment by the end of next week. Then she left for her class while Dean tried to get it together enough to go to work. Bobby had cut him a lot of slack until he slipped up in front of that pretentious bitch.

Dean was happy he wasn’t actually suspended, but having a few days off from work wouldn’t have been the worst thing in the world. He needed time to process, and grieve, and figure out what he was going to do. He loved Charlie, but he couldn’t camp out in her spare room forever. She had her own life.

Maybe he could find a roommate, or crash with Sam until he actually got back on his feet. He didn’t want to disrupt Sam’s life either, though. He sighed. He wished he could go back in time, so he could figure out where he had gone wrong. Sure, he and Lisa weren’t perfect, but they worked well together. He thought they did, anyway. He missed her. He pulled out his phone. Before he could dial, Charlie took it from him.

“No calling your ex.”

“But—.”

“No. You’ll only end up hurting yourself.” She was right, and Dean knew it, but it didn’t make him want to call Lisa any less. The apartment door opened.

“How many people have your key?” Dean asked.

“Babe, you home!?”

“You and Gilda,” Charlie replied with a grin. “Living room!” She shouted. Dean smiled a little. He liked Charlie’s girlfriend. Gilda joined them on the couch, and gave Charlie a kiss.

“It’s good to see you, Dean. Charlie told me what happened. I’m sorry.”

“It’s good to see you too, Gilda. I’m all right.”

“So what are we doing tonight? It’s Trivia Night at the bar on Bisbane.” Charlie looked at Dean. He shrugged.

“I’m always down for Trivia Night. Want me to call Sammy?”

“Yes! I’ll call Jo and Bela.”

“What about Garth, Benny, and Eileen?”

“Perfect!” Dean, Charlie, and Gilda started making calls, and sending texts. Within ten minutes everyone had agreed to meet at the bar around eight.

“All right. This is shaping up to be a good night.” Charlie wrapped her arms around Dean. “You feeling any better?”

“A little. Me and Sam are gonna kick your ass, by the way.”

“You haven’t beaten us at a Trivia Night in three months.”

“That was with Lisa. Now I’ve got Sammy. He’s book smart, and I’m pop culture smart. Together we’re unbeatable.”

“A hundred bucks says you’re not.”

“Charlie, you know you’re not supposed to gamble,” Gilda chided.

“You’re so on.” Dean held out his hand. Charlie shook it, and Gilda rolled her eyes.

“Why do I put up with you people?”

“Because you love me,” Charlie giggled, “and I come with a lot of very odd friends.”

“I do love you, very much. And your friends are very weird.”

“I’m gonna go shower,” Dean said.

“Don’t mess up the bathroom!” Gilda called after him. Dean rolled his eyes. Sure, he was a guy, but he wasn’t a complete mess. He knew how to clean up after himself. He locked himself in the bathroom, and ran the shower. He stood under the water a little longer than necessary, letting his mind wander. As he was rinsing the shampoo out of his hair, he found himself thinking about the guy with the camera. He really wished he had gotten a name. The picture thing was a little annoying, but he couldn’t deny that the man was attractive. Disastrous dark brown hair that was damn near black, and blue eyes so vivid they looked like actual sapphires. If it were any other time, he probably would’ve made a move, but he was fresh out of a relationship, and he still loved Lisa.

Dean went into the spare bedroom, and dug through the bottom drawer of the dresser until he found the clothes he had left the last time he stayed over. He towel dried his hair, and went back into the living room. He groaned when he found Charlie and Gilda making out on the couch.

“Come on, I don’t wanna see that!”

“You wanna stay here, deal with it,” Charlie laughed.

“Fine. Do you two think you can stop sucking face long enough to walk to the bar?”

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s go.”


	5. Chapter 5

“I can’t believe you talked me into this,” Gabriel muttered. The bar was loud, hot, and crowded. Cas grinned at his older brother.

“Come on, it’s fun! You love trivia games.” Cas tipped back a shot. His fifth since they walked in the door.

“It’s not the trivia I mind,” Gabriel said. “I don’t like you when you’re drunk.”

“I’m not drunk, Gabe. I’m barely even tipsy. Come on, let’s find a table.”

“Hey, Novak!” Cas and Gabriel turned in the direction of the voice. Cas’s heart stopped. Gabriel broke into a grin.

“Hey, Winchester!” He walked over, Cas following mutely. “What are you doing here?”

“Trivia Night. Gabe, this is my little brother, Sammy. Sam, this is Gabriel Novak.” Cas watched as his brother shook hands with the younger Winchester. He smirked when he saw Gabriel’s eyes widen a little. He could see the crush starting to develop.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Sam said.

“You, too. This is my little brother.” Gabriel turned to Dean. “You met him yesterday.”

“And I never got a name.”

“Cas,” Cas said, extending his hand.

“Dean.” They shook hands, and Cas felt a spark. It took all his willpower not to bite his lip, and pull the other man in for a kiss. Dean cleared his throat. “Well, it was good to meet you, Cas. Gabe, I’ll see ya at work Monday.” Dean and Sam disappeared into the crowd. Cas nudged his brother.

“You so have a crush on him.”

“How _tall_ is he?” Cas snapped a picture of the brothers walking away before he answered.

“Gotta be _at least_ six-four.” Gabriel’s breath hitched, and Cas chuckled. “Oh, you’ve got it bad. Come on.” He grabbed his brother’s arm and dragged him to the other side of the bar. They sat at one of the hightop tables, and Cas flagged the waitress down.

“What can I get for you?”

“Chili cheese fries, and two blue Hawaiians. Thanks, sweetheart.” The waitress blushed a little before walking away.

“I don’t like chili cheese fries,” Gabriel said.

“Well, then you don’t have to have any.” Cas picked at the popcorn on the table as he surveyed the room. He was thinking about flirting with the cute blonde six tables over when a hand touched his shoulder.

“Hey, mind if we join you?” Cas made eye contact with Dean, and his throat went dry.

“Not at all,” Gabriel said.

“Thanks.” Dean took the chair next to Cas. “Our friends were hounding me about my ex. I came here to have fun and forget her.” Dean’s face fell for a fraction of a second, and Cas grabbed his camera. “Seriously, dude, you’ve gotta stop that.”

“He won’t,” Gabriel said. Cas noticed that his brother hadn’t really taken his eyes off Sam since he sat down, but he didn’t say anything.

“It’s a reflex,” Cas explained to Dean. “I see pretty people, and I have to take their picture. My camera really likes you.”

“That’s the second time you’ve called me pretty,” Dean noted, and Cas grinned.

“Take the compliment, Winchester.” The waitress dropped off the chili cheese fries and two Blue Hawaiians.

“Can I get you boys anything?”

“Whatever you’ve got on tap,” Dean said.

“I’ll just have water,” Sam said.

“Come on, Sammy, live a little.”

“It’s Sam,” Sam grumbled. The waitress walked away again, and Dean reached for Cas’s fries. Cas slapped his hand.

“Hey. I don’t share food unless you ask.”

“Man after my own heart,” Dean chuckled. “Can I?”

“I don’t know. Can you?” Sam laughed, and Dean rolled his eyes.

“ _May_ I?”

“Hmm. I dunno. Gabe?”

“I don’t give a fuck.” Gabriel shot Cas a hostile glare, and Cas realized he had interrupted his brother’s conversation with Sam. He turned back to Dean.

“All right, but for every one you eat, I get to take a picture without you bitching.” Dean paled a little, but his love for chili cheese fries must have been greater than his dislike for Cas’s camera because he reached over and took a few.

“You guys sign up for Trivia Night?”

“The second we got here. I never miss these.”

“Neither do I. I’m surprised we haven’t run into each other before.”

“Gabriel doesn’t really like to be alone in crowds, so I have to stick with him. We tend to stay in the background.”

“Yeah, my friends are the exact opposite. They’re the four loud tables over there,” Dean pointed across the bar. Cas followed with his eyes, trying not to think about how badly he wanted to wrap his lips around Dean’s finger and suck. Among the people Dean was pointing to were the blonde Cas had been thinking about flirting with, and a redhead who looked very familiar.

“Looks like a fun group.”

“They are. I just can’t deal with the questions right now. _I’m_ still trying to figure out what happened. I just wanted to drink beer, crush everyone at trivia, and spend some time with my brother.”

“Well, I can promise you that two of those things will happen, but I’m afraid me and Gabriel are gonna kick your ass at trivia.” Dean raised an eyebrow.

“Oh really? Care to make it interesting?”

“Dean, no,” Sam said before Cas could respond. “You already have bets with Charlie, Bela, Garth, and Benny.”

“So what’s one more?” Dean folded his arms on the table and leaned closer to Cas. “You in?”

“How much?”

“Hundred bucks?” Cas knew he should say no, but he was never one to back down from a challenge.

“You’re on.” They shook hands for the second time that night, and Cas once again had to fight the urge to pull the green-eyed man into a kiss.

“I hate you so much right now,” Gabriel muttered.

“Relax, we’ll be fine,” Cas assured him as the game got started.

Two hours later, money traded hands. In the end, Cas and Gabriel had come out on top, with Dean and Sam coming in one point behind them. Cas couldn’t hide his smirk as Dean handed over a hundred dollars.

“Don’t look so smug,” he said. “You only won by one point. We’re gonna slaughter you next week.” Cas took one last picture of Dean, marking fifteen for the night before he scribbled his number down on a cocktail napkin.

“Call me some time. Maybe we can have our own one-on-one game.” He turned and followed Gabriel outside into the crisp March air.

“You’re an idiot,” Gabriel said as they walked back to Cas’s apartment. Cas rolled his eyes.

“Why? Because I gave the cute guy my number? What’s the worst that happens? He doesn’t call, and I move on. No one’s getting hurt here.”

“He will, if he calls you.”

“You know what, Gabe, just once I wish you’d have some faith in me.”

“You can’t commit to anyone, Cas. If he ends up falling for you, he’ll only get his heart broken. I work with him. It’ll get weird.” Gabriel stopped walking so he could look Cas in the eyes. “Don’t hurt him, that’s all I’m asking.” Cas shook his head slowly.

“I have no control over that. All I can promise is that I’ll let him down easy. If it ever comes to that.” He climbed the steps and unlocked the door to his apartment. “Goodnight, Gabriel.”


	6. Chapter 6

“Gabriel? Really?” Sam sighed, giving his older brother his best bitchface in the process.

“How many times are you gonna ask that? Yes, I think he’s cute. What’s wrong with that?”

“The height difference alone, Sammy. He’s a hobbit compared to you.”

“That’s part of the reason I like him. What can you tell me about him?” Dean blew out a sigh.

“Well, he’s an absolute sugar junkie. I’m not kidding. Dude always, _always_ has candy in his pocket. He likes practical jokes. We call him the Trickster around the garage. Nothing harmful, just stupid pranks. He’s actually a really good guy, but he’s a man-child.” Sam only nodded, clearly deep in thought. Dean rolled his eyes. He never in a million years would have thought that Sam would be interested in Gabriel. They were so different, it didn’t seem like it would work. Dean wasn’t going to tell his little brother what to do, though. He had no right to.

“Can you give me his number?” Sam finally asked. Dean hesitated. He wasn’t in the habit of giving out peoples’ personal information without their consent.

“How about I give him your number?”

“All right.” They stopped outside Sam’s apartment building. “You wanna come up for a minute?”

“Love to, but I’ve got money to collect from Charlie before she tries to weasel her way out of it. I’ll stop by tomorrow.”

“Okay. Goodnight, Dean.”

“‘Night, Sammy.” Dean walked the six blocks back to Charlie’s in record time. He unlocked the door, and walked in on Charlie and Gilda making out once again. “Jesus Christ. I can’t catch a break today.”

“Sorry, not sorry,” Charlie said brightly.

“Yeah, yeah. I believe you owe me some money. You’re the only one I didn’t collect from at the bar. You ducked out before I could get to you.” Dean smirked. “You were hoping I’d stay at Sam’s tonight, weren’t you?” Charlie shrugged sheepishly.

“A girl can dream, can’t she?” She opened her wallet and gave Dean his hundred dollars.

“Thank you.”

“Where’d you disappear to anyway?”

“Ran into Gabe and his brother. Everyone was hounding me about Lisa, so I decided to just hang out with them. Sorry, I just didn’t wanna deal. And I think Sam and Gabriel hit it off.” Charlie raised an eyebrow.

“Really? Sam and Gabriel?”

“Yeah, I thought it was weird, too, but,” Dean shrugged, “I’m not gonna tell him no.” He slipped the money into his pocket, and felt a soft piece of paper. The napkin Cas had written his phone number on. He smiled to himself. “I’m gonna go to bed. ‘Night, guys.”

“‘Night, Dean.” Dean walked down the hall to the spare bedroom. He closed the door, changed into some pajama pants and an old t-shirt, and took out his phone. He punched in Cas’ number then sent a text.

**Dean [11:47pm]:** Hey it’s Dean

He wasn’t really expecting a response, so he was surprised when his phone pinged only seconds later.

**Cas [11:47pm]:** Hey! Honestly didn’t expect you to contact me so soon. Definitely not complaining. What’s up?

 **Dean [11:48pm]:** Absolutely nothing. Were you serious about one-on-one trivia night?

Dean had a feeling that wasn’t at all what Cas had meant when he suggested they go one-on-one. And while he was flattered that someone so gorgeous had taken an interest in him, he wasn’t ready to start another relationship.

**Cas [11:48pm]:** Only if you want to ;)

Dean smirked. That was all the confirmation he needed.

**Dean [11:50pm]:** I’m not gonna dance around this. You’re hot and I know you think I’m at least somewhat attractive but I just got out of a three-year relationship literally two days ago. We can be friends if you want but I’m not looking for anything right now.

Dean’s hands were shaking as he hit send. He liked Cas, and he didn’t want to mess anything up, but he felt the need to be honest. It wasn’t fair for him to keep talking to him without telling him where he was coming from. Dean’s phone pinged.

**Cas [11:50pm]:** Whatever you’re comfortable with Dean. I’ll take friendship over never getting to see your pretty face again. You free tomorrow?

Dean was about to say yes when he remembered that he was supposed to be spending the day with Charlie’s friend. Shit. He could always blow it off, but he had promised, and he was never one to break a promise. He sighed.

**Dean [11:51pm]:** Unfortunately no. I’ve got plans but I’m free Sunday.

 **Cas [11:51pm]:** I can do Sunday. There’s a coffee shop on Canal that I like. Wanna meet there?

 **Dean [11:52pm]:** Sure! Noonish?

 **Cas [11:52pm]:** Perfect. See ya then! ;)

 **Dean [11:53pm]:** See ya :)

Dean smiled. He set his phone on the nightstand, and snuggled under the covers.

Dean was startled out of his somewhat peaceful sleep when his alarm went off. He grabbed his phone to check the time. It was a little past ten. He sighed, and rolled out of bed. He shlepped into the bathroom. A cold washcloth to the face woke him up considerably. He brushed his teeth with one of the spare toothbrushes Charlie kept in the cabinet, then he went back in his room to get dressed. He only had about three t-shirts, two pairs of jeans, and a pair of boxers, so he was definitely going to have to stop by his old apartment before the end of the day. He was dreading that.

When Dean walked into the kitchen, he was greeted with the smell of bacon. Charlie was standing by the stove with a two-liter Coke bottle over her arm.

“What are you doing?” Dean asked, reaching over her head for a coffee mug. He planted a kiss on top of her fiery red hair in the process.

“Keeping my arm from burning!” Charlie turned around and pecked his cheek. “You headed out?”

“Yeah. Your friend better be there this time.”

“He will. I’m gonna call him now and tell him you’re on your way.”

“All right. Later, kiddo.”

“Later, bitch.” Dean walked down to Baby. He smiled as he got behind the wheel. It was only a three block walk, but he wanted to spend some time with his car. Especially after she got impounded. He drove down to the coffee shop. He ordered his usual black coffee, a bacon, egg, and cheese bagel, then sat down and waited.

Dean had been sitting there for all of fifteen minutes, subtly watching the door, when a familiar head of disastrous dark-brown hair walked in. Cas had both earbuds in, and his eyes were glued to his phone. Dean waited for him to look up before he waved slightly. Cas grinned and walked over. He pulled one earbud out.

“Hey, fancy running into you here. Waiting for somebody?”

“Yeah. Meeting a friend of a friend.”

“Yeah, me too. Blind date?”

“No. Kinda feels more like a job interview, honestly.”

“Mind if I wait with you?” Dean gestured to the empty side of the booth. Cas sat and pulled some sketches out of his messenger bag.

“You’re are artist?” Dean asked.

“Yeah. I’m an art major at Stanford.”

“That’s cool. A couple of my friends are art majors.” Dean took a bite of his sandwich, but stopped mid-chew. “Hang on. Do you know a redhead named Charlie Bradbury?” Cas frowned slightly.

“Names I’m not great with, and I know a few redheads. Got a picture?” Dean fished his phone out of his pocket. He finished chewing as he scrolled through his photos. He showed Cas a picture, and Cas snapped his fingers.

“Charlie! That’s her name! I _knew_ it started with a C. Yeah, she’s in a couple of my classes. I’m supposed to be meeting a friend of hers…” Cas trailed off, and made eye contact with Dean. “You. I’m supposed to be meeting you, aren’t I?”

“I think so.” Dean started laughing. “God, Charlie’s gonna get a kick outta this.” Cas was laughing too, and Dean decided he liked that sound.

“Well, I can definitely say that you’re worth my time.” Cas packed his sketches away, and pulled out his laptop. “So, I know you don’t wanna talk about your breakup, but can you give me a basic rundown of what happened?” Dean sighed, and Cas looked up from his computer. He snapped a picture. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Charlie was right about your hurt puppy look, though.”

“I do _not_ have a hurt puppy look!” Cas laughed.

“Okay, sensitive. Got it. It’s not a bad thing, you know. It’s really cute.”

“Shut up,” Dean muttered around his coffee mug.

“All right, all right. So how do you know Charlie?”

“Friend of Sammy’s. They met at Stanford freshman year. Math class, I think.”

“Your brother goes to Stanford, too?”

“Yeah. He wants to be a lawyer. When he got accepted, me, him, and our uncle moved out here. Bobby opened the garage, and I’ve been working there to help Sam pay for school.”

“That’s nice of you. Why aren’t you in school?” Dean shrugged.

“Not my thing. I dropped out of high school when I was sixteen. I got my GED a few years ago, but I was never interested in college. Sam’s the smart one. I’m good with cars, so I don’t mind working for Bobby.”

“Sam may be book smart, but if last night is anything to go by, you’re very pop culture smart.”

“Yeah, but when’s that ever gonna help me in life?” Cas furrowed his brow, but didn’t say anything. Instead, he focused his attention on his laptop. He stopped typing long enough to take a few more picture of Dean, then went right back to typing. “What are you working on?”

“Not sure yet. I’m still looking for something to do my final project on.”

“Any ideas?”

“Nope.” Dean had just popped the last bite of his sandwich into his mouth when an idea crossed his mind.

“Hey, you could do your project on Baby, if you want.” Cas looked up.

“Baby?”

“My car. She’s a ’67 Impala. She’s got a lotta history in her.” Cas chewed his lip.

“Maybe…” he paused, “You know what would be cool? Buy a junk car and bring it back to life. I could document the process.” Dean grinned.

“I like that idea. And I think I know just the car. Come on.” Dean slid out of the booth and walked to his car. Cas wasn’t far behind him.


	7. Chapter 7

Cas had woken up that morning thinking he was going to bail on Charlie’s friend early, and see if he could find a way to get Dean to hang out with him. His day had taken a surprisingly pleasant turn when he discovered that Charlie’s friend was, in fact, Dean Winchester. Now, he was sitting in the passenger’s seat of a beautiful, black, ’67 Impala that Dean had called Baby. He still had one of his earbuds in, but he couldn’t really hear his music over the classic rock blasting from the speakers. Dean stopped the car at a junkyard and cut the engine.

“Right there.” Cas followed Dean’s finger across the lot to a gold, ‘78 Lincoln Continental.

“That’s a pimpmobile,” he said, and Dean laughed.

“Yeah, I know, but I’ve been looking for a project to keep me busy on my off days. Baby’s mint, and I’ve been thinking about getting that one. Think you could do your project on it?” Cas bit his lip. It was a good idea. Hell, it was a great idea. He nodded.

“Let’s do it. We can split the cost.”

“Oh. No, Cas, you don’t have to do that. I was gonna buy it anyway.”

“Yeah, but if I’m getting as much out of it as you are, it’s only fair that I pay for half.”

“You really don’t—.”

“This isn’t a discussion, Dean,” Cas said with a raised eyebrow. He saw Dean swallow.

“All right. I’ve already talked to the guy who owns the yard. He said it’s mine for a thousand dollars, as long as I don’t mind towing it.”

“Which of course you don’t.”

“For a thousand dollars I’d put the damn thing in neutral and push it to Bobby’s garage.” Cas chuckled.

“I have no doubt. I should have five hundred dollars laying around my apartment somewhere.”

“You…just leave that much money in your apartment?”

“I don’t trust banks.” Dean stared at him for a moment before shaking his head.

“You’re odd. I like that. I’ve got a little over a grand in my savings account. I just have to check with Bobby and make sure it’s okay if I use the space behind the garage. Shouldn’t be a problem, but I gotta ask.”

“All right. Why don’t we pick the car up tomorrow then? We were gonna hang out tomorrow anyway.”

“We can do that. I’ll talk to Bobby later today.” Dean turned in his seat. “So, you wanna do something?” Cas fought the urge to say “Yeah, you.” He did smirk though.

“What did you have in mind?” Dean shrugged.

“I’m up for anything. We could just go for a drive. Baby could use some exercise.”

“Sure.” Cas didn’t really like car rides, but he liked the smile on Dean’s face. And maybe he could get a few good pictures out of it. Dean started the engine and turned his music up. Cas settled into his seat and stared out the window. There was something to be said about living near the ocean. It was beautiful. Cas took a few shots of the scenery before he turned to look at Dean. He was tapping his fingers against the steering wheel in time to the beat of the Metallica song that was playing. It wasn’t one of Cas’s favorites, so he reached over to skip to the next song. Dean slapped his hand.

“House rules, Cas. Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole.” Cas took a picture of Dean’s cocky grin.

“All right, I can respect that.” He fiddled with his one dangling earbud. He wasn’t nervous exactly, but Dean had made his position perfectly clear, and he was worried about overstepping his boundaries. He liked Dean, and he wanted their friendship to work.

“Something wrong?” Cas shook his head.

“No, I was just…Do we need to set up some ground rules here? Because I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable.” Dean chuckled.

“You’ve got a flirty personality, I like that. As long as we’re clear that I’m not looking for anything right now, you can flirt with me as much as you want.” The wink that accompanied that sentence sent blood rushing south, and Cas shifted in his seat.

“Good because flirting is a reflex when I’m around attractive people.” He took another picture.

“Apparently so is picture taking. You really need to stop doing that. I’m not that interesting.”

“Interesting is in the eye of the beholder.”

“I thought that was beauty?”

“I think _everything_ is in the eye of the beholder. I think you’re interesting, and I like taking pictures of you, so I’m going to unless it makes you uncomfortable. But if your only objection is that _you_ don’t think you’re interesting then you don’t have a leg to stand on.”

“You’re very unapologetic, I’ve noticed.”

“Why should I apologize for being right?” Cas let his camera dangle. Dean didn’t say anything, but Cas caught his small smile.

By the time Dean dropped him off a block from his apartment, Cas knew he was going to be sticking around for a while. At least until his project was finished. He was jumped by a ball of fur the second he walked through the door. He laughed.

“Hey, Maggie! Sorry, I’m late, but I pretty much just had the best date ever!” So it wasn’t technically a date, but it certainly felt like one, and Cas already knew he was starting to fall in love. Maggie barked happily. Cas collapsed on the couch. His phone pinged.

**Charlie [3:23pm]:** Hey how’d it go?

 **Cas [3:24pm]:** Great! Dean’s awesome!

 **Charlie [3:24pm]:** Good! I knew you two would get along! We can talk Monday after class.

 **Cas [3:25pm]:** Great. See ya Monday.

Cas was still smiling. Dean was incredible. They barely knew each other and he had offered to _buy a car_ so Cas would have something to do his final project on. No one had ever done something like that for him. No one had ever really done anything for him, aside from his brother. All of his relationships had been with people who just wanted him to take their picture.

Dean was different. He didn’t seem to mind that Cas took his picture a lot, but he never asked him to. He just let it happen. Cas liked that. He liked taking pictures when he thought the moment was right, not when other people wanted their pictures taken. Dean wasn’t like any other person he had ever met, and Cas was going to thoroughly enjoy the time he got with him.

He still wasn’t expecting the relationship to last more than a few months. He would get bored eventually because he always did, but he was going to make the most of the time he got. Cas pulled Maggie into his lap and pet her head.

“He’s awesome, Maggie. He’s sweet, and funny, and just…” Cas groaned. “God, the things I would do to him.” Maggie licked his hand. “And of _course_ he’s not looking for a relationship right now. I don’t wanna push him, but how am I supposed to _not_ fall in love with someone who’s literally _buying a car_ for me so I can do my project?” Maggie barked once. Cas sighed. “Why does this have to be complicated?” Maggie barked again. “Yeah, I know, that’s life.” Cas turned on his TV and stretched out on the couch.


	8. Chapter 8

“Can I borrow some work space for the next three months or so?” Bobby looked up from the paperwork on his desk. Dean smiled.

“Depends what for.”

“I’m gonna fix up a ’78 Continental. Gabe’s brother’s doing an art project on it.” Bobby raised an eyebrow. “Don’t ask. I don’t get art. I’m just trying to help him out, and I’ve been looking for a project to keep me busy on my off days.”

“Knock yourself out. Just don’t make a mess.”

“Obviously. Thanks, Bobby.”

“Sure. Now get outta here. And don’t forget you’re in at ten tomorrow.”

“I’ll be here.” Dean walked out of the office and straight into Gabriel.

“What are you doing here, Winchester?”

“Just asking Bobby if I could borrow some work space. I’m fixing up a ’78 Continental. Cas is gonna do his project on it.”

“Huh. The way you two were acting last night, I figured he’d do his project on you.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“I’m not interesting enough for an art project.”

“I think Cas would disagree, but,” Gabriel shrugged. “I’m actually glad your here. I wanted to ask you something. Sam, is he…I mean, is he single?” Dean smirked.

“Yeah. He actually asked me for your number last night, but I don’t give out personal information without consent, so I told him I’d give you his.” Dean took a pen out of his pocket and scribbled Sam’s number on Gabriel’s hand. “Be nice to him, or I won’t hesitate to kill you, Novak.”

“Right back atcha, Winchester. See ya Monday?”

“Ten. I’ll probably work a double. See ya.” Dean got back into Baby and sat there for a minute. He still had to go over to his old apartment and get his stuff. He was just bracing himself. He took a deep breath and started the engine. He could do this. He could face Lisa. He took the familiar route from the garage to the apartment. He cut the engine and looked up at the building. He took a deep breath before climbing the stairs. He was about to unlock the door, but something didn’t feel right about it. He knocked. Two minutes and fifteen second later, Lisa opened the door. Dean’s breath caught.

Lisa Braeden was, for lack of a better description, a goddess among women. At least, she was in Dean’s eyes, and standing there in skin-tight jeans and one of Dean’s old t-shirts, she had never looked better. Her dark brown hair was pulled up in a messy ponytail, and her caramel eyes flashed with annoyance.

“Hey, Lise,” Dean managed to choke out. “You look good.” Lisa folded her arms.

“What do you want, Dean?” _Okay, so much for small talk_.

“I’m just here for my stuff.”

“Right.” Lisa opened the door to let him in. “It’s already boxed up. Shouldn’t take you more than ten minutes.” Dean blinked. He knew Lisa didn’t want to see him, but he hadn’t expected her to be so cold.

“All right. Thanks.” True to Lisa’s word, it didn’t take more than ten minutes for Dean to get all the boxes down to Baby. He was on his way out with the last box when he stopped in the doorway. “I’m sorry, I gotta ask. Why?” Lisa sighed.

“Because you’re a mess, Dean. You have no drive, no ambition, no sense of yourself. How am I supposed to be with someone who doesn’t even know who they are? We were never going to work. You’re going to be stuck in a dead-end, go-nowhere, minimum-wage job for the rest of your life, and I can’t be with someone like that.” Lisa shut the door and Dean was left standing in the hallway with no idea where to even begin processing her words.

Dean drove to Charlie’s apartment in complete silence, the only sound coming from Baby’s engine. He stopped outside and shot Charlie a text.

**Dean [5:18pm]:** You home?

 **Charlie [5:19pm]:** Yup what’s up?

 **Dean [5:19pm]:** Stopped by my apartment to get my stuff. Wanna help me with boxes?

Two minutes later Charlie came bouncing down the steps of the building. Dean got out of his car. Charlie’s smile faded when she saw him.

“Dean, you look like someone just shot a puppy. What happened?” Dean swallowed, trying to keep his emotions in check. Dean Winchester did not cry. He didn’t cry when his mother died in a house fire when he was four, he didn’t cry when his dead-beat of a father lost a year-long battle with cancer, and he wasn’t going to start now.

“I’m fine. Just help me with these boxes.” He unlocked the trunk. With Charlie’s help, it only took a few minutes to get everything upstairs. Then she got him a beer and sat him down on the couch.

“Cas texted me earlier. He said you guys had a good time.”

“We did. He’s actually Gabe brother, so we met last night. He’s awesome.” Dean took a sip of his beer. “You remember that Continental I was gonna buy?”

“The pimpmobile?”

“Yeah. Cas and me are gonna split the cost, and he’s gonna do his project on it.”

“That’s actually really cool!”

“I thought it was. And I meant to ask, how’d your bridges turn out?” Charlie’s eye lit up.

“Awesome! You wanna see?”

“Definitely!” Charlie went to get her portfolio.

“I decided on bridges because I like bridges. They represent the work that goes into connecting two things that should be together, but aren’t. I called it “Bridges of Santa Clara”. A play on “Bridges of Madison County”. It seemed fitting.” Dean flipped through the portfolio. It was breathtaking. He still didn’t really get art, but he could appreciate a good photo, and Charlie’s were beautiful.

“This is amazing, Charlie.”

“Really?”

“I love it.” He kissed the top of her head. “You’ve got talent, kiddo.”

“Ya know, I’m only four years younger than you.”

“Yeah, well, you’re still a kid to me. So’s Sammy. I can’t believe you guys are graduating in a few months.”

“I am. Sam’s still got a few more years of school, and then he’s gotta take the bar.”

“Yeah, I know. He’s been bringing it up every once in a while. I think he’s trying to get me to stop helping him pay for it.”

“You’re not gonna do that.”

“Never. He’s worked hard for this and I know he’s gonna be a great lawyer. Once I find an apartment things’ll be a little easier.”

“Well, you know you’re more than welcome to stay here as long as you need. Me and Gilda don’t mind.”

“You’re absolutely sure?”

“I already talked to her about it. She said it’s fine.” Charlie smiled softly. “You’re family, Dean. We don’t turn our backs on family, right?”

“Right.” Dean had to smile at that. He had adopted Charlie as his little sister the second he met her. The same went for all of Sam’s friends, and the friends he had made at the garage. He would lay his life down for any one of them, and he knew they would do the same.

“Do you wanna do anything tonight?”

“Not really.”

“All right. _Doctor Who_?”

“Sure.” While Charlie scrolled through the TV, Dean took out his phone and shot a quick text to Cas.

**Dean [6:12pm]:** Hey I had fun today. We still on for tomorrow?

 **Cas [6:13pm]:** I had fun too. Definitely.

 **Dean [6:13pm]:** Bobby gave me the all clear to use some space for the car. You wanna pick it up tomorrow?

 **Cas [6:14pm]:** Yeah that’s good. I should probably spend a day with it just to get a feel for its personality.

 **Dean [6:14pm]:** All right, I’ll pick you up around ten tomorrow morning.

 **Cas [6:15pm]:** I’ll try to be awake.

 **Dean [6:15pm]:** I’ll call you before I leave.

 **Cas [6:16pm]:** Mmm my own personal Dean Winchester wake up call.

Dean laughed and Charlie looked at him.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, sorry.”

**Dean [6:16pm]:** Don’t get use to it ;) See ya

“Who are you texting?” Charlie asked.

“Cas. We’re gonna pick up the car tomorrow.”

“Oh. Have fun. What season do you wanna watch?”

“Start at the beginning,” Dean said. It didn’t matter how many times he watched the same TV shows, he always started at the beginning. He hated skipping seasons. Charlie started the first episode and Dean settled more comfortably into the couch.


	9. Chapter 9

Cas woke up to his phone ringing unnecessarily loudly. He groaned and rolled over. He picked it up off the night stand and answered it.

“What?”

“Rise and shine!” Dean’s gruff voice filled Cas’s ear. He groaned again, this time because, not ten minutes ago, he had been dreaming about Dean, sweaty, pliant, and completely fucked-out beneath him, begging for more.

“Hey, Dean.” He could’ve cleared his throat before talking, but he knew his voice sounded rougher in the morning, and he figured Dean might appreciate it. “What time are you coming over?”

“Should be leaving Charlie’s in a about ten minutes. It’s a five minute drive to where you had me drop you off.”

“Fifteen minutes. Great.” Dean chuckled.

“How about you call me back when you’re ready?”

“Nah, it’s fine. I’ll be ready. See ya.”

“Later, Cas.” Cas rolled out of bed and walked into his bathroom. He had taken a shower last night the second Dean said he was going to show up early. He brushed his teeth, ran a comb through his hair even though it didn’t help, then went to get dressed. He dug around in his dresser until he found a pair of jeans that weren’t destroyed, and a t-shirt that wasn’t covered in paint. He tugged on the blue Converse Gabriel had given him because he said they matched his eyes, hung his camera around his neck, and found his earbuds buried under a pile of drawings. He grabbed his keys, said goodbye to Maggie, and walked down the street to meet Dean.

He was actually early, so he sat on the sidewalk, and took a few pictures. He had photographed his block a million times, but he could always find something new. He was looking for the right angle to capture a bird when Dean roared up in the Impala. The bird flew away, and Cas got to his feet.

“Thank you very much for ruining my shot,” he said as he opened the passenger’s door. He turned the music down in his earbud.

“Sorry. How about I make it up to you?”

“I’m listening.”

“Lunch at the little restaurant down the street from the garage. After we get everything squared away, and you get whatever pictures you need.” Cas smiled.

“I never say no to free food.”

“Good. It’s a deal.” Dean said ‘deal’, but Cas heard ‘date’, and his heart skipped a little. He bit his lip and turned his attention out the window to avoid lunging across the bench seat. It really wasn’t fair. Dean Winchester was everything he could want in another person and he couldn’t have him. Not the way he wanted him, anyway, and by the time Dean decided he was ready for another relationship, Cas would probably be bored and on to the next person. He sighed more audibly than he meant to.

“What are you so huffy about over there?” Cas looked over. He knew Dean would fall for him eventually because everyone did. Usually he didn’t care, but he didn’t want to hurt Dean.

“You have to promise me something, Dean.”

“Okay.”

“Promise me you won’t fall in love with me.” Dean snorted. “I’m not kidding. I don’t tend to stick around very long and I don’t wanna hurt you. I like you and I think this friendship could be something pretty awesome.” Dean took his eyes off the road long enough to give Cas a thorough look.

“Okay. I promise I won’t fall in love with you. Scouts honor.”

“You were a boy scout?”

“Hardly,” Dean said with a grin. He pulled into the junkyard and cut the engine. “You wanna just wait here? I’ll only be, like, ten minutes.” Cas nodded. He reached into his pocket, and handed Dean his five hundred dollars. “You really don’t have to.”

“Take it before I get out of this car and shove it so far down your throat you choke on it.”Cas couldn’t stop the words from coming out of his mouth. He was always snippy before he had a cup of coffee. Dean raised an eyebrow.

“That a promise, Cas?” He leaned through the window and took the money. “I’ll get you a cup of coffee when we get to the shop. Bobby’s coffee is unmatched.” Cas smiled a little before Dean disappeared. _Damnit, Novak, pull yourself together_ , he scolded himself. Between not having coffee and Dean’s voice being the first thing he heard that morning, he was going crazy. He wanted nothing more than to grab Dean Winchester by the collar of his stupid leather jacket, and pin him against the side of his stupid vintage car, and kiss him breathless.

Cas felt a twitch and groaned. He didn’t need this right now. Dean would be back in a few minutes, and even if he weren’t, it wasn’t like Cas could just get off in the man’s car. That would be disrespectful, at best. He was trying to think of something, _anything_ , to calm himself down when Dean tapped on the door. Cas jumped.

“Hey, jumpy. You good?”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“We’re getting the car hitched to Baby and then we’ll get you some coffee. You definitely need it.”

“Thanks.” Dean disappeared again, this time only for a few minutes. Then he got into the driver’s seat. “I’m pretty sure that guy thinks we’re insane.” He shifted the car into gear. The fifteen minute drive to the garage was agonizing. Dean spent the entire time singing along to Led Zeppelin songs, leading Cas to discover that the man had a voice like velvet, and doing nothing to stop the hardening in his jeans. By the time Dean parked in front of the garage, Cas was practically losing his mind. He jumped out of the car and made a beeline for the bathroom. He locked the door and took a deep breath. He had two options. Wait and see if he could calm himself down, or sink to a new low and jerk off in the bathroom of an auto shop.

He went with the second option. It was just easier. He leaned back against the wall and used his free hand to keep himself quiet. Two minutes and thirty-six seconds later he flushed the toilet and cleaned himself up. He walked out of the bathroom both incredibly relieved and a little guilty. The guilt vanished when Dean smiled and handed him a cup of coffee. He took a sip and choked.

“Who the fuck drinks _black_ coffee?”

“Men,” Dean answered.

“Well, then I’m not a man,” Cas said. He walked over to the small counter beside the coffee pot. He dumped ten sugar packets and six creamers into the cup, stirred it, and took another sip. “Perfect.”

“You want some coffee with that?”

“Bite me,” Cas grumbled around his cup. Dean smirked.

“Don’t tempt me.” Cas once again choked on his coffee.

“Leave it outside, Winchester,” a gruff voice said from behind him. Dean’s smirked melted into a grin.

“I’m just teasing him, Bobby. Come on, help me get this car out back.”

“Pretty sure I’m your boss.”

“Ah, you love me.”

“Idjit,” Bobby muttered as he followed Dean outside, Cas following close behind.


	10. Chapter 10

Dean was enjoying the time he was spending with Cas. He was quick-witted, flirty, and had a dry sense of humor that Dean couldn’t get enough of. He watched as Cas moved around the car, taking picture after picture. His movements alone were artistic. Dean was leaning against the side of the garage with his arms crossed, waiting for Cas to finish what he was doing. He wasn’t rushing him by any means. The Continental was a little more work than he had thought, but he was still confident he could get it finished in time for Cas to turn in his project.

“You gettin’ bored over there, Winchester?” Cas asked after about two hours.

“Not at all,” Dean replied. Cas let his camera dangle for a second.

“See somethin’ ya like?”

“Not particularly.” Dean flashed his famous, quirky grin. He pushed off the wall and walked over. “How’s it going?”

“Good. I’m almost done.”

“No rush.” Dean ran his hand over the top of the car. The color was atrocious, but it was nothing a paint job couldn’t fix. _Maybe blue_ , he thought, stealing a glance at Cas. He had already decided that he was going to give the car to Cas when everything was said and done. Dean already had Baby and Sam had made his position on owning a car perfectly clear. It was just going to sit at the garage until he figured out what to do with it.

“Dean, you’re blocking my shot.”

“Oh, sorry.” Dean walked back to his spot against the wall. He turned on the small radio sitting on the workbench and found his favorite station. A Led Zeppelin song came on and he smiled. He turned it up a little. Cas turned around.

“It’s nice to finally meet someone who likes good music. Gabe only ever listens to shitty pop music.” Dean nodded.

“Sammy’s like that, too. I love him to death, but his taste in music is horrific.” Cas took another picture, then walked over to where Dean was standing.

“I’m ready if you are.”

“Sure. It’s only a two minute walk.” Dean poked his head into Bobby’s office. “Hey, me and Cas are gonna get lunch. We’ll be back soon.”

“Behave,” Bobby said. Dean rolled his eyes.

“We’re friends.”

“Uh-huh.” Dean didn’t say anything else. He knew his reputation. He also knew that, while Cas was incredibly attractive, they would probably just stay friends. It would be too weird, especially when they eventually broke up. Which they would because apparently Dean couldn’t get _anyone_ to stick around.

They walked the half block up to the little diner, Cas only a few paces behind Dean. Dean had a feeling he was lagging on purpose, so he could take pictures of him. He wasn’t going to complain. It wouldn’t do any good and it didn’t really bother him _that_ much. He pulled open the door and held it

“Such a gentleman,” Cas said.

“Force of habit,” Dean said, sliding into the closest booth. Cas sat across from him. Dean folded his arms on the table. “Can I ask you something?”

“Open book.”

“Why do you always have an earbud in?”

“I get distracted easily. Having it in blocks out outside noise. It makes it easier for me to focus.” Dean nodded.

“And how come you won’t tell me where you live?” Cas half-smirked.

“I tend to attract a lot of…interesting people. I prefer it if people don’t know where I live. Makes it harder to retaliate when I inevitably break up with them.”

“And why is breaking up inevitable?”

“Because no one can hold my interest forever. I always get bored, usually within a month or two. I can’t help it. There are too many interesting people in the world for me to commit myself to one person.” Dean flagged down a waitress and ordered them both bacon cheeseburgers with fries. Cas raised an eyebrow. “You in the habit of ordering for people?”

“No, but the burgers here are amazing.” Dean smiled. “So, you’re not the commitment type?” Cas shook his head. “Have you ever loved someone?”

“I’ve loved every person I’ve been with, Dean. I just haven’t been _in_ love. I was in love with someone once and she broke my heart. From then on, I just decided that I could love anyone I wanted, as long as I didn’t fall _in_ love.” Dean let Cas’ words sink in. Something like that had never occurred to him. He was known for one-night stands, but he had only ever been in love twice.

“So that’s why you told me not to fall in love with you.”

“Yeah. I like you, Dean, and given the opportunity I would absolutely fuck you into a mattress, or in the back of your car, or against a wall. But I think we’ll be really good friends and I don’t wanna mess that up by breaking your heart.” Cas smiled a little. “Are you okay with that?”

“More than okay.” The waitress dropped of their food.

“Thanks, sweetheart,” Cas said with a wink. The waitress blushed and walked away. Dean popped a fry into his mouth.

“You’re quite the flirt.”

“Like you don’t flirt with the waitstaff.” Dean only shrugged because he knew he couldn’t deny it. He flirted with everyone simply because he could. Cas bit into his cheeseburger and let out a groan that sent heat coiling through Dean’s body. “Oh my, God, this is incredible.”

“Told ya it was good.” Cas sighed.

“I’d fuck this burger.” Dean laughed.

“Jesus, Cas.”

“Oh like you wouldn’t.” Once again, Dean shrugged because he couldn’t deny it. “So, Gabe’s got a crush on Sam.”

“Oh, I know. Sammy likes him, too. I gave Gabe his number yesterday.”

“Really? You’re okay with it?”

“Sure, why not? Your brother’s not that bad.” Cas raised an eyebrow and Dean smiled around his burger. “All right, he’s a nightmare, but he won’t hurt Sammy if he knows what’s good for him.”

“He won’t,” Cas said. “My brother is a child when it comes to most things, but he’s the most caring, loving, and loyal person when he’s in a relationship.”

“Yeah?” Cas nodded.

“His treated his last girlfriend like a goddess. I’m not kidding either. He worshipped her. He was really devastated when she broke up with him.”

“I remember her. Kali, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, I never met her, but he talked about her all the time. He was talking about moving in with her and then one day he just never mentioned her again. I figured they broke up, but I never asked him about it.”

“Probably a good thing. I asked him about it once, and I thought he was gonna kill me.” Dean finished off his fries, then took out his wallet. “You don’t have to pay. I was only kidding this morning.” Dean waved him off.

“It’s fine, Cas, really.”

“At least let me leave the tip.”

“I got it, seriously.”

“Fine, but I got it next time.”

“Deal.” Dean left the cash on the table and they walked back to the garage. Dean folded his arms and surveyed the Continental. “I’m gonna start with the body. It needs the least amount of work.”

“All right. Mind if I watch?”

“As long as you don’t distract me, sure.”

“Now how could I _possibly_ be a distraction to you?” Cas winked, and Dean chuckled. He laid down on the creeper, and pulled himself under the car. No one ever came out back to check on them. No one even really seemed to know they were there, and Dean was okay with that. He liked the time he was getting to spend with Cas. Even if it was in complete silence, with the sound of Dean’s tools and Cas’s camera the only indications that they were there.


	11. Chapter 11

Cas woke up with his alarm. He didn’t want to get up. He had spent the whole night dreaming about Dean, and he wasn’t ready to wake up. He turned off his alarm and rolled off the couch. He dug through his dresser until he came up with clean jeans and a t-shirt that was only partially destroyed. He ran a brush through his hair, brushed his teeth, grabbed his messenger bag, and walked down to the coffee shop on Canal. He opened the door and almost walked right into Dean.

“Hey!” Cas smiled even though he felt like he wanted to die. He needed a cup of coffee.

“Hey, Dean. I’d love to talk, but I need coffee first.” Dean nodded.

“I was on my way out anyway. Gotta get to work. I’ll see ya later.”

“Later.” Dean walked out the door, and Cas went to the counter. He got a caramel vanilla latte to go, and headed for school. He wasn’t a morning person, but he couldn’t miss his classes. Not with graduation just three months away. He had come this far, he could make it. He stumbled into the student lounge and found an empty table. He had just spread out his papers when Charlie popped up next to him.

“Morning, sunshine!”

“No,” Cas muttered, and Charlie laughed.

“Three more months, Cas. Three more months. Have you been having fun with Dean?” Cas smiled automatically.

“He’s awesome. You were right about his sad puppy look, but there’s so much more to him. There’s a lot to work with there. And he’s very sweet. I finally have a topic for my final project.”

“He told me about that! It’s a really cool idea, and I know he’s had his eye on that piece of shit car for a while.”

“It is a piece of shit.” Cas paused. “Do you think he can actually fix it?” Charlie grinned.

“Definitely! By the time he’s done with it, it’ll be mint. Guaranteed!” Charlie pulled out a binder. “Here’s my portfolio, if you wanna see it.”

“Definitely.” Cas took the binder and flipped through it. As always, Charlie’s work was somehow rough, yet elegant. It was beautiful. Cas recognized most of the bridges, and the ones he didn’t were breathtaking. “This is incredible, Charlie.”

“Really?”

“I love it.” Cas handed the portfolio back with a smile. “You’re incredibly talented.”

“Thank you. That means a lot, coming from you. You’re the best in our class.” Cas took the compliment with a smile.

“Thank you. So, what can you tell me about Dean?”

“You asking as a friend, or something more?” Cas shrugged, a smirk playing at his lips.

“Mostly as a friend. I like him, a lot, but I don’t wanna hurt him.”

“Got it. Well, I met him four years ago when me and Sam had the same math class. He’s like a brother to me. They both are. Dean’s a good man. He’s a little closed off, and he’s not always great at saying what he’s feeling, but he’ll show it with actions. He’s sweet, but he’ll never admit it, and he’s unwaveringly loyal. He’s slow to trust, especially now, with everything that happened with Lisa. He’s trying to act like he’s fine, but he’s hurting. I don’t know how long it’ll take him to get over this.”

“What exactly happened?”

“I still don’t have the full story,” Charlie said, “and I think it’s something you should hear from him.” Cas nodded. The more he was hearing about Dean, the more he was beginning to like him. He took a long sip from his latte and looked over his art.

“You think he’d appreciate one of these?”

“What do you mean?”

“I feel like I should give him something, as a thank you for helping me with my project.”

“Oh. Dean’s not really an…art…person.” Charlie paused to think. “I bet he’d like a drawing or painting of Baby, though. He loves that car more than anything.” Cas considered it. He opened his laptop and scrolled through the pictures he’d taken over the last couple days. He knew he had at least one of Dean’s car. He found it, and turned his laptop to Charlie.

“Something like that?”

“Oh my, God, Cas, that’s beautiful!” Cas smiled.

“Thanks. I can redraw it by hand, give it a little more character. Think he’d like it?”

“He’d love it and that’s very sweet of you. I know he’s not expecting anything from you.”

“Dean strikes me as the kind of person who doesn’t expect anything from anybody.”

“You’re not wrong about that. He’ll jump at the chance to help anyone in need without asking for anything in return, but he refuses help when he’s the one who needs it. I think it’s got a lot to do with how crappy his childhood was, but that’s another thing you should hear from him.” Cas’s alarm went off. He closed his laptop and gathered his papers.

“Come on, we’re gonna be late for class.” He slung his messenger bag over his shoulder and put his arm around Charlie as they walked to their first class.

As always, Cas found himself drifting off as the professor droned on. He hated this class, but he needed it to get his art degree, so he suffered through it. His only salvation was Charlie writing him messages in the margins of their notes. Cas was about to rip a sheet of paper out of his hardly used notebook when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He opened the messaging app on his laptop. It was more discreet than taking out his phone.

**Dean [9:18am]:** I’m gonna be at the garage after hours to work on the car if you wanna drop by.

 **Cas [9:18am]:** Sure I’ve got nothing better to do.

 **Dean [9:19am]:** Gee thanks Cas

Cas chuckled, then noticed that Charlie was looking at his computer screen.

“Hey, eyes front,” he hissed.

“Oh, come on. Your conversation with Dean is much more interesting.”

“Shut up.”

**Cas [9:21am]:** Sorry. Hey I dunno if Sam told you but Gabe told me they’re going outtonight after his shift.

 **Dean [9:22am]:** Sammy told me last night and Gabe told me when he got here. Wanna tail ‘em?

 **Cas [9:22am]:** Definitely!

“You two are horrible!” Charlie whisper-shouted.

“What? We’re looking out for our brothers.”

“Right, uh-huh, sure.”

**Dean [9:24am]:** They’re probably gonna go to the bar we were at Friday night.

 **Cas [9:25am]:** Great it’ll be easier to tail them that way. I’ll stop by the garage around 6:30.

 **Dean [9:25am]:** Gabe should be gone by then. See ya :)

 **Cas [9:26am]:** See ya :)

“So you two are gonna spend the night stalking your brothers?”

“It wasn’t like I had any better plans,” Cas said. Charlie shook her head.

“One of them is gonna spot you, and they’re gonna be pissed.”

“Please. I love Gabe, but when he’s on a date, he’s completely oblivious to everything accept the person he’s with.”

“What about Sam?”

“I’ll make sure we’re facing his back. I’m not stupid, Charlie.”

“Sounds like you’ve done this before.”

“I like to know who my brother’s dating. He’s done a lot for me, and he deserves someone who appreciates him.” Charlie smiled.

“That’s very sweet, Cas. A little creepy, but very sweet. Also, you don’t have to worry about Sam. He’s a good guy.”

“Why don’t you let me decide that for myself?” Cas had no doubt that Sam Winchester was a good person, but he still wanted to make sure Gabriel wasn’t going to get hurt.


	12. Chapter 12

Dean was absolutely bored out of his mind. Mondays were always slow, but this was torture. He had been at the garage for three hours, and had a total of one customer, who needed a new tire. At the moment, he was giving Baby a wash and wax because there was nothing else to do. Gabriel was helping him because the alternative was sitting on the workbench, staring at the wall.

“Are you really okay with me going out with Sam?” It had to be the fifteenth Gabriel had asked that and Dean was one more time away from spraying him with the hose.

“Yes, Gabe, it’s fine. If I wasn’t okay with it, I wouldn’t’ve given you his number. Please stop asking.”

“All right, all right, sorry. I just don’t want things to be weird with us. We’re friends, for lack of a better word.”

“‘For lack of a better word’. Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind next time your birthday rolls around.” Dean grinned. “Things are only weird if we make them weird. As long as you don’t hurt Sammy, we’ll be fine.”

“I won’t. That I can promise.” Gabriel smiled. “What’s up with you and Cas?” Dean shrugged. In truth, he wasn’t quite sure what he was feeling. He liked Cas, he knew that much, but he was beginning to straddle the line between ‘I wanna be friends’ like, and ‘I wanna fuck you against a wall’ like.

“Nothing really. We’re friends.” Gabriel raised an eyebrow.

“Really? I didn’t think it was possible for Cas to have friends.”

“Why?” Gabriel ran the sponge over the rear window.

“He fucks everyone he meets. I’m not exaggerating. Every single person he introduces as a friend, ends up becoming a crazy ex within the month. He doesn’t do it on purpose, I know he doesn’t, but he can’t help himself.” Dean scrubbed at a stubborn dirt spot on the hood.

“You don’t have to worry about me. Even if we do end up fucking, I’m nowhere near ready for another relationship. I’ll be fine, trust me.”

“I don’t trust you with anything outside this garage, Winchester.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“Shut up, Novak. You done over there?”

“Yeah. Grab the hose.” Dean turned on the water and started spraying Baby down. Gabriel wandered off, presumably to get the wax. Dean tried not to let his mind wander too much. Not for nothing, but Gabriel’s constant chatter, as annoying as it was, had been keeping him from thinking about Cas. Ever since yesterday, when he essentially told him he wanted to fuck him six ways from Sunday, Dean hadn’t been able to get those blue eyes and ruffled sex-hair out of his head. It was torturing him, really. Cas was Gabriel’s brother. And even if he weren’t, he couldn’t just use him as a fuck buddy. Those kinds of situations _always_ ended with someone developing feelings. He couldn’t deal with feelings.

“Dean!” Dean jumped, startled out of his head. He looked over and realized he had completely soaked Gabriel.

“Shit. Sorry, dude.”

“Ya know, if you wanted me to stop talking, you coulda just said something. You didn’t have to give me a bath.”

“Sorry. I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Clearly.” Gabriel cut the water off and tossed Dean a rag. “What were you thinking about?”

“Nothing.” Dean avoided eye contact because he _knew_ Gabriel was wiggling his eyebrows at him.

“Come on, Dean-O. We’re both adults. You can tell me you were daydreaming about my brother.”

“Okay, one, you are _not_ an adult. Two, I was _not_ daydreaming about your brother.”

“All right, so what were you daydreaming about?”

“All the ways I could kill you and get away with it,” Dean responded with a cocky grin. Gabriel chucked a wet rag at him. He dodged it and laughed. “You’re a horrible shot, Novak.”

“Bite me, Winchester.”

“I’ll leave that to Sammy.” Gabriel choked and Dean laughed harder.

“Dude, that’s your _brother_! And we haven’t even gone out yet!” Dean was still laughing too hard to respond. Gabriel was known for making bad sex jokes and sleazy innuendos, so it wasn’t often that Dean was able to shock him. He took more pleasure in it than he should, but he didn’t care.

“What are you two idjits doin’ out here?” Dean stopped laughing almost immediately.

“Cleaning Baby. It’s dead and we were bored.”

“Why is Novak soaked?”

“Dean got distracted and sprayed me with the hose.”

“It was an accident,” Dean hissed. He already knew he was going to get in trouble for washing his own car on company time. He didn’t need to make Bobby any angrier. He may call him ‘uncle’, and he may be like a surrogate father to him, but Dean knew he wasn’t going to get special treatment. Bobby didn’t work like that and Dean respected it.

“Finish what you’re doing, then let Novak go.”

“Yes, sir,” Dean said, thankful he didn’t get yelled at. Of course, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t get yelled at later. Bobby went back into his office and Gabriel smacked Dean on the back of his head.

“You’re _so_ lucky Singer likes you.”

“I’ll get hell for it later, I’m sure. Come on, let’s get her waxed so you can get outta here.”

“Trying to get rid of me, Winchester?”

“Yes, I find you highly irritating.” Gabriel rolled his eyes. They got Baby waxed, put everything back where it belonged, and Gabriel clapped Dean on the shoulder.

“All right, I’m out. See ya Thursday, Dean.”

“Later, Gabe.” Dean waited until Gabriel had gotten down the block before he went into Bobby’s office.

“Hey, Bobby. Sorry about before. You can take it out of my check.” Bobby rolled his eyes.

“You’re too hard on yourself, Dean. There weren’t any customers around and I understand needing to blow off some steam. I was just checking on you guys. Gabriel ain’t in trouble either, I just sent him home because it ain’t busy.” Dean breathed a sigh of relief. Bobby leaned forward on his desk. He gestured to the chair Dean was standing next to. Dean sat. “I ain’t your daddy, son. I ain’t gonna yell at you for every little thing. You’re allowed to be your own person.” Dean’s heart twisted a little. He was torn between snapping at Bobby for insulting his father’s memory and thanking Bobby for being a better father-figure than John Winchester had ever been. He settled for a half-smile.

“Thanks, Bobby. You mind if I do some work on the Continental until we get some business?”

“Knock yourself out, kid.”

“Thanks.” Dean got back to his feet, and went out back. The car was proving to be a challenge, but he was determined to have it in mint condition before Cas had to turn in his project. It was what he had promised, after all. He slid under the car and got to work.

He didn’t realize how long he had been working until his alarm went off, telling him the garage was closing in thirty minutes. He had replaced all the parts that needed replacing underneath, then got started under the hood. He was pulling the out the rusted engine when he heard someone wolf-whistle. He jumped and nearly hit his head on the raised hood. Then he heard a familiar clicking sound. He turned around and smiled.

“Hey, Cas.”

“Don’t stop on my account. I was enjoying the view.” Dean shook his head slowly, wiping his hands on the rag sticking out his back right pocket. The left pocket held the t-shirt he had pulled off hours ago.

“What do you think so far?” Cas shrugged. He slid under the Continental and Dean heard the camera clicking. Cas popped back up a moment later.

“I’ll have to pull the pictures up side by side, but it looks good to me.” Cas let his camera dangle around his neck. “So, we still on for stalking our brothers?”

“Yeah. Let me just tell Bobby I’m takin’ off. It’s been dead all day, he should be good by himself for the last twenty minutes.

“I can wait,” Cas said. Dean shook his head.

“I’ve been itchin’ to get outta here for hours. I’ll just be a minute.” He went back into the garage, and poked his head into Bobby’s office. “Me and Cas are takin’ off. See ya Thursday.”

“‘Night, Dean. “

“‘Night.” Dean met Cas out by Baby. “So, where do you think our brothers went?”


	13. Chapter 13

Tailing Sam and Gabriel was going even better than Cas had thought it would. They had gone to the bar they had all been at Friday night and had gotten the perfect table. Cas and Dean were sitting at the bar so they could see their brothers, but their brothers couldn’t see them. Everything was going great. Except that Cas was finding it increasingly harder not to touch Dean in any way that could be perceived as sexual. The man was absolutely gorgeous and the beer he was drinking was giving him a quicker snark than usual.

“Looks like they’re getting along,” Dean said as they watched Sam put his hand on Gabriel’s arm. Cas smirked.

“Your brother must be one smooth talker ‘cause I’ve never seen Gabe _blush_ before.” He snapped a picture.

“Way to make it obvious, Cas.”

“They’re cute.” Cas turned on his barstool, and took a picture of Dean. “You’re cute, too.” Dean finished his second beer and ordered a third. “Why not have whiskey, or something? Take the edge off a little?” Dean tensed and Cas sensed he might have said the wrong thing. Dean sipped his beer and didn’t answer him. Cas knocked back his glass of whiskey. He swiped his finger over his bottom lip to catch the bit that dibbled out. He caught Dean watching him, and smirked. “Wanna taste?” It was his boldest move of the night and he was pleasantly surprised when Dean leaned forward and sucked his finger into his mouth.

“It’s good,” Dean said, after a solid minute of sucking on Cas’s finger.

“Jesus, fuck, Dean,” Cas groaned. “That was so hot.” Dean chuckled.

“Easy tiger. We’ve still got a long night ahead of us. Maybe you oughta switch to beer.”

“Maybe.” Cas bit his lip. He was just tipsy enough that he wanted to fuck Dean in the backseat of his car, consequences be damned. Dean was still mostly sober, though, so he knew his advances wouldn’t get him very far.

“So what made you decide to go into art?” Dean asked.

“I’ve always been interested in art,” Cas answered. “Ever since I was little. Gabriel was the only one who ever supported me. He’s the whole reason I’m even here. We both wanted to get out. Gabriel had a ton of opportunities, but he waited until I turned eighteen, then encouraged me to apply to every single college with an art program. I never thought Stanford would except me, but as soon as I got the letter, Gabe packed us up and moved us out here. He risked his life to save mine. I can never thank him enough for that.” Cas took a drink from the beer Dean had gotten for him. He wasn’t usually so open with people about his home life, but he trusted Dean.

Cas turned to watch Sam and Gabriel again. They seemed to be getting along well. He smiled a little, and took another picture. Then he took the card out of his camera and put it in his laptop. He scrolled through all the pictures he’d taken that day. When he got to the ones of the Continental, he pulled them up side by side with the one’s he’d taken yesterday. He was impressed. Dean had gotten a lot of work done in the last day.

“This looks really good,” he said, turning his laptop so Dean could see it. Dean studied the pictures for a minute.

“Looks like I missed a couple spots,” he said. “I’ll fix it tomorrow. I’ve got tomorrow, and Wednesday off, so I’ll be at the working on it all day both days, if you wanna hang out.”

“Sure. I’ll stop by after class. I’ve got two classes tomorrow, and three on Wednesday. I’ll text you once I’m out.”

“That’s fine.” Dean took a long pull from his bottle. He looked like he wanted to say something else.

“Something wrong?” Dean shook his head. Cas put a new card in his camera and took a few pictures. Dean didn’t react. Cas sighed. He flagged down the bartender and ordered two shots of tequila. He slid one over to Dean. “Come on. One shot won’t kill you.” He watched Dean hesitate. There was something in his eyes. He wanted to take the shot, that was obvious from the way his hand was twitching, but he was fighting something. Cas held eye contact with him until Dean picked up the glass and knocked the shot back.

Things went downhill fast from there. Or uphill, depending on how Cas wanted to look at it. One shot turned into two, then three, then four. Dean was beginning to loosen up. He had a permanent smile on his face and he was laughing at almost everything. The fifth shot found Dean’s hand resting on Cas’s knee. Six had Dean moving his barstool well into Cas’s personal space. Seven made Dean’s voice drop a few octaves into a seductive growl. The bartender cut him off at eight, but the damage was done.

Cas was torn between keeping an eye on Sam and Gabriel, and flirting with Dean. His decision was made easy when Sam and Gabriel slipped out the door while he wasn’t looking. He dismissed it. They were fine. He focused his attention on Dean, who was rambling on about his ex.

“I just don’t get what I did,” he was saying as he took pulls from his beer bottle. “I did everything I could to make her happy. I don’t know why she did this to me.” Dean met Cas’s gaze with glassy eyes. “Why, Cas?” Cas smiled sympathetically.

“I don’t know, Dean.” He reached out, and cupped his cheek. “I’m sorry, but she was an idiot for letting you go.” There was a beat of silence between them, eye contact unwavering, before Dean leaned in. His lips were soft and the skin on skin contact was electrifying. Cas sighed into the kiss. It was better than he had imagined. He was also acutely aware that they had just crossed that line. They could call it a one-off and chalk down as a drunken mistake, but Cas knew he was screwed.

The kiss heated up slowly. Cas closed his eyes and let himself get lost in it. He threaded his fingers through Dean’s soft hair to pull him closer. He needed it. He needed the closeness. Cas moved his tongue across Dean’s lips. He parted them in a silent invitation. Cas licked his way into Dean’s mouth, mapping out every inch of tongue and teeth. Dean twined his tongue with Cas’s, copying his movements.

Dean moved off his barstool and stood between Cas’s legs. The height difference made it easier to deepen the kiss even further. The small part of Cas’s brain that was still functioning was screaming at him to get out while he still could. Kissing Dean wasn’t going to lead anywhere good. He didn’t care, though. He was caught up in the burning heat and he was disappointed when Dean pulled out of it.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t’ve…I wasn’t thinking.”

“I didn’t mind,” Cas said with a smirk. He licked at his lips, hoping Dean would give into the temptation again. Instead, Dean flagged down the bartender and paid their tabs.

“Gabe and Sammy are gone. We should leave, too.” Cas didn’t argue, but he did stop Dean from getting behind the wheel of his car.

“We’ll walk. You can pick her up in the morning. You’re in no condition to drive.” Dean really wasn’t in any condition to walk, either. Cas had to support him most of the way. When they got to his building, he made a split-second decision to let Dean crash on his couch. He got him upstairs and led him to the couch.

“Cas, wait,” Dean mumbled. Cas sat beside him and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Sleep it off, Dean. We can talk in the morning.” He gave Dean a soft, goodnight kiss before locking himself in his bedroom. He curled up in his bed and silently cursed himself. He was screwed. He was completely screwed.


	14. Chapter 14

Dean woke up with a pounding headache and an intense craving for a drink. He looked around, bleary eyed. He tried to remember what had happened the night before. He remembered being at the bar, he remembered talking to Cas, and then… _Shit_. Panic set in as he recalled at least half a dozen shots of tequila, and a hot and heavy make out session at the bar. Dean looked at the clock on his phone. It was a little past seven in the morning. He knew Cas wasn’t even remotely awake yet, so he quietly slipped out the door, sending a text as he went.

**Dean [7:13am]:** Sorry I bailed. Had an emergency. Please call me when you get this. We should talk.

The craving for a drink hit again and panic gripped Dean a little tighter. He dialed Sam’s number.

“Dean, do you know what time it is?”

“Are you alone?”

“What?”

“Are you alone?” Dean could practically hear his little brother’s bitchface.

“Yes, Dean. I don’t make a habit of sleeping with people on the first date. Why?”

“I need to talk to you. I’m on my way over.”

“I’ve gotta leave for class soon, this better be important.” Dean swallowed his guilt.

“I drank last night.” Sam was quiet for a long minute and Dean wondered if he had been hung up on. He wouldn’t blame his brother for being pissed.

“The door’s unlocked.” The line clicked and Dean practically ran to Sam’s apartment. As soon as he walked in, Sam pulled him into a hug, then sat him down on the couch. “Here, drink this.” Sam handed him a glass. Dean drank it without question. “What happened?”

“I was out with Cas last night. We were tailing you and Gabriel.”

“Why?”

“I wanted to make sure you were okay and I think Cas just wanted an excuse to hang out with me. We were sitting at the bar and Cas ordered us both shots. I should’ve said just told him, but the way he was looking at me…I just didn’t wanna disappoint him, so I took the shot. And then a lot more.”

“How many more?”

“I think it was eight. Jose Cuervo.” Dean forced himself to look at his brother. Sam’s face was neutral, but Dean knew he was disappointed in him. “I’m so sorry, Sam.” Sam shook his head.

“Don’t apologize, Dean. You slipped up, that’s okay. You’re human. I’m glad you called me. Are you getting cravings?” Dean nodded. “Okay. I’ve got a friend who can take notes for me. I’m gonna skip class today and stay with you.”

“No. Absolutely not. You can’t miss class because of me. I was gonna spend the day at the garage anyway. Bobby’ll keep an eye on me.”

“All right.” Sam paused. “You know you have to tell him, right?” Dean broke eye contact.

“I know.” He scrubbed his hands over his face. “He’s gonna kill me. He spent all that time and I go and do this.” He felt Sam’s hand on his shoulder.

“Dean, he’s not gonna be mad. You’ve been sober for six years. You made a mistake and you’re owning up to it. That’s good.”

“I guess.” Sam patted his shoulder.

“Come on. I’m assuming you didn’t drive home last night?” Dean shook his head. “Okay. We’ll go get your car, you can drop me at school, then go back to Charlie’s. Take a shower, get yourself together, and go in as soon as the garage opens. Talk to Bobby before anyone else gets there.”

“Okay.”

“Promise me. Promise me you’ll talk to him.” Dean once again forced himself to look his little brother in the eyes.

“I promise, Sammy.” Sam smiled.

“Thank you.” Dean stayed on the couch while Sam got his stuff together. He felt like shit. He never should’ve bothered Sam with this. He was an adult, he could handle himself. Except clearly he couldn’t. He wanted to blame Cas for what happened last night, but it wasn’t his fault. He hadn’t forced Dean to drink. Hell, all he did was order the shot. Dean was the one who took it, and then kept drinking. This was on him.

Dean and Sam walked to Baby in silence. Dean felt a little better once he slid behind the wheel. He ran his fingers over her dashboard.

“Sorry I left you, Baby. I’ll never do it again, I swear.” Dean ignored Sam’s eye roll as he started the engine. He drove his brother to school, then went back to Charlie’s. He unlocked the door as quietly as he could. He could never remember what days Charlie had her early classes and he didn’t want to wake her up if she was still sleeping. He went into the bathroom and ran the shower lukewarm, bordering on cold. He stood under the water for a minute, letting it relax him.

He showered slowly, mostly to give himself some time to think. He was bracing himself for the worst. Bobby had spent so much time helping Dean get sober after his father died. He was going to be pissed. And then he had to talk to Cas. Dean was dreading that conversation even more. Cas was probably mad at him for leaving without saying anything. Sending a text really didn’t make up for it. Cas didn’t like people in his apartment. He had let Dean stay there last night because he was too drunk to drive home and then he had left without even saying thank you. Dean shut off the water feeling worse than he had when he turned it on.

He brushed his teeth, then took a good look at himself in the mirror. He actually didn’t look that bad. A little dehydrated maybe, but that was nothing a little water couldn’t fix. He went into his room and dug through his clothes. He found his favorite Led Zeppelin t-shirt, pulled on a pair of jeans, and laced up his boots. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge before he headed out.

He parked in front of the garage and waited for Bobby to pull up. He was a mess of nerves. At best, he was going to get yelled at. At worst, he would probably be fired. He couldn’t afford that. He still had to help Sam pay for school. When Bobby’s car rolled up, Dean had to fight the urge to run. He got out of Baby and met Bobby at the door.

“Thought I gave you off today?”

“You did. I was gonna work on the Continental. I need to talk to you first, though.”

“What about?”

“Can we go inside?” Bobby furrowed his brow as he unlocked the door.

“Everything all right, son?”

“No.” Dean took a deep breath and sat in the chair in front of Bobby’s desk. “I went out last night with a friend, and…I, uh…I…got drunk.” Dean refused to make eye contact. Every muscle in his body was tense as he waited for the hailstorm of angry words.

“Dean, look at me.” He didn’t move. “Dean.” Slowly, Dean lifted his head. “Are you afraid of me?”

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I shouldn’t’ve done it. I know how much time you spent setting me straight and I screwed up.” Dean swallowed.

“Son, I ain’t mad at ya. You slipped up. It happens. You owned up to it, that’s what matters. Stay here for the day and let yourself dry out. Whenever you crave a drink, have some water. I’ll keep an eye on ya.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Bobby narrowed his eyes. “Were you expecting me to yell at you?”

“I was expecting you to fire me.”

“Dean, did you hear a word I said to you yesterday? I ain’t gonna yell at ya. That don’t help anything. You ain’t perfect, but you’re family. I’m gonna look out for ya.” Dean should’ve felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Instead, he felt even worse. He needed to stop burdening the people he loved with his problems. He was twenty-six. He was more than capable of taking care of himself.

“Thanks, Bobby,” Dean said with a smile. He left the office and went out back to work on the Continental. Maybe that would take his mind off of everything. At least for a little while. He slid underneath it, and got to work.


	15. Chapter 15

“He must hate me,” Cas said, running his hands through his hair for what felt like the millionth time since he read Dean’s text. He had woken up dreading facing Dean in his living room, but this was so much worse. Dean had skipped out a good hour before Cas had even thought about waking up and he hadn’t even left a note. He had just sent a text, that seem like it was more of courtesy than Dean actually wanting Cas to contact him. He had put off doing anything until he saw Charlie at school.

“Dean doesn’t hate you, Cas,” Charlie assured him. “If he did, he wouldn’t’ve sent that text and he would’ve texted me to tell me he was done with you. Trust me. But there has to be a reason he bailed. What happened last night?”

“We were out tailing Sam Gabe, we got a little drunk, and we ended up making out.” Charlie furrowed her brow.

“You got drunk? Both of you?”

“Yeah. Dean had a few beers and eight shots of tequila.” Charlie’s eyes widened and an uneasy feeling settled in the pit of Cas’s stomach. “What?”

“Dean doesn’t…he’s not supposed to…no wonder he ducked out this morning. You need to call him.”

“Why?”

“Because he’ll wanna explain himself. I promise, if you call him, he won’t blow you off. Please, call him.” Cas didn’t like the panicked look in her eyes. He took out his phone and dialed. Dean picked up after two rings.

“Hey, Cas. Thanks for calling. I’m sorry I ran out on you this morning and thanks for letting me stay last night. We should talk in person.”

“Okay. My last class ends at three. Will you still be at the garage?”

“Yup. I’ll be here all day.”

“Okay, I’ll be there by about three-thirty.”

“Okay. Thanks for agreeing to see me. And thanks again for letting me crash last night. I know you don’t like people in your apartment.”

“You don’t count as people,” Cas said without thinking. Dean chuckled.

“All right, well, thanks, I guess. I’ll see ya later.”

“Later.” Cas put his phone in his pocket.

“‘You don’t count as people’?” Charlie raised an eyebrow. “Really, Cas?”

“I dunno. He thanked me for letting him crash at my place last night even though I hate letting other people into my apartment. Having him there didn’t bother me though.” Charlie started grinning, and Cas rolled his eye. “Don’t even. We’re friends. Hell, after last night, I don’t even know if we’re that.” Cas ran hand through his hair again. “I can’t believe I screwed this up.” Charlie put her hand on his shoulder.

“You didn’t screw anything up.”

“Yes, I did.”

“No, you didn’t. Dean will—.”

“Charlie,” Cas snapped. He made eye contact with her. “I love him.” Charlie stiffened.

“No, Cas. No. You can’t do that to him. You’ll break his heart. He can’t go through that again. Don’t.”

“I can’t help it, Charlie, you know that.”

“I know that, and I know that your feelings are genuine, but for how long? Honestly, Cas. If you two start dating, how long will it be before you’re bored with him? Dean doesn’t fall in love easy. If he falls in love with you and you leave…” Charlie never finished her sentence, but Cas knew what she meant. He couldn’t do it. Not this time. Not to Dean.

“I won’t act on it,” he said.

“What?”

“I won’t act on it. There’s more at risk with him than just a broken heart. If he’s not mad about last night, and he still wants to be friends, then I don’t wanna ruin that. I also don’t wanna ruin our friendship.” Cas smiled. “I kinda like you. And if we break up, that could put a strain on Sam and Gabe’s relationship, if it ever gets that far. There’s too many variances. It’s better if we just stay friends. I’ll be over this in a month or so and he never has to know.” Charlie hugged him.

“Thank you. I love you and I would hate to have to kill you because you hurt someone I consider a brother.” Cas laughed just as his alarm went off.

“Come on, we’ve got class.”

Cas’s class seemed to drag, but by the time he got to the garage, he was once again greeted with a very shirtless Dean bent over under the hood of the Continental. He didn’t whistle this time. It didn’t feel appropriate. Instead, he cleared his throat loudly.

“Hello, Dean.” Dean’s head shot up, and he spun around.

“Cas, hey. Thanks for meeting me.” Dean wiped his hands on his rag. “First, let me just say that I really appreciate you letting me crash at your place last night, and I’m so sorry for cutting out on you this morning.”

“Yeah, uh, why’d you do that?”

“I…um…here.” Dean gestured to the picnic table. _Great, a sit-down conversation. This can’t be good_. Cas sat across from Dean and pulled his earbud out. “I guess I should give you the full story.” Dean took a shaky breath. Whatever he was about to say was big. “Okay. When I was…fifteen…yeah, fifteen, my dad got sick. Cancer. He wasn’t…the best father…but I loved him, so I took care of him. For an entire year, every single day after school I would go to the hospital and take care of him. He died when I was sixteen. Sammy was…twelve at the time. Bobby took us in. I dropped out of school completely and started working at Bobby’s garage to help Sammy save for college, and make sure he always had enough food. I was angry…about a lotta things and I started drinking. That’s how my dad coped when he was alive, so that’s what I did.

“I started slipping when I was eighteen. I broke into Bobby’s liquor cabinet more times than I can remember. I showed up late for work every single day, I slacked when I did work, and I got into a lotta fights. Bobby cut me way too many breaks, but by the time I was twenty he had had enough. He checked me into rehab and left me there to sober up.” Dean swallowed, and took out his car keys. He held up a sobriety chip. “I’ve been sober for six years. I drink beer every once in a while, wine when I go to dinner with friends, and champagne on New Year’s, but I haven’t touched the hard stuff in six years. Until last night. When I woke up this morning, I had an intense craving for a drink. It triggered an anxiety attack. I called Sammy and left. It was rude and I shouldn’t’ve done it, but I didn’t know what else to do. I’m sorry.” Cas felt guilt rolling around in his stomach.

“I’m so sorry, Dean. If I had known—.” Dean held up his hand.

“This ain’t your fault, Cas. I didn’t tell you. And even if I had, you didn’t force me to drink. I made that decision on my own. I screwed up. Also, I’m very sorry for sticking my tongue down your throat.” Cas chuckled.

“That I didn’t mind at all.” Dean grinned.

“I didn’t think so. Regardless, I think it’s best if we just…forget about it?” Dean phrased the end of the sentence as a question. Like he didn’t want to hurt Cas’s feelings. Cas nodded.

“Definitely. We were both drunk, let’s just leave it at that.”

“Deal.” Dean held out his hand. Cas shook it, then turned to look at the Continental.

“So, where are you on this?”

“The undercarriage still needs a little work. I’m waiting for a part to come in. Should be here next week. I’m working under the hood for now. Pretty much everything’s rusted out under there, so it’ll be a couple weeks before I get everything up and running.”

“Mind if I take a look?”

“Knock yourself out. It’s your project.” Cas laid down and pushed himself under the car. It looked a lot better than it had the day before, but it clearly still needed some work. He wasn’t going to rush Dean’s process, though. He trusted him. Cas took a few photos, then slid out from under the car. Dean was waiting beside the car to pull him to his feet.

“Thanks.” He ducked under the hood, and clicked his camera. He could feel Dean moving around behind him. He grimaced, trying to focus his attention on his work. This project was important. He angled his camera, and took another series of shots.

“Everything look good so far?” Dean asked.

“I wanna say yes, but cars really aren’t my area, so…” Cas shrugged. “It looks better than it did.” He caught Dean’s smirk. “What?”

“Nothing. When you’re done there, do you wanna get dinner? I still feel like I owe you for bailing on you this morning.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Dean. But dinner would be nice.”

“Yeah?”

“Sure. There’s a nice restaurant about a block from my apartment. I’ve been there with Gabe a few times.”

“All right. Let me get a little more work done on her and then we’ll go.”

Eight-thirty found them sitting across from each other in a restaurant that was far too nice for just friends and Dean was practically vibrating with nerves.

“Dean, you seem nervous.”

“I’m fine.” Cas held his gaze and gave him a half-smirk.

“You don’t have to be nervous, Dean.”

“Sorry, this just…it feels a lot like a…date.”

“Could be, if you want.” Cas immediately bit his tongue. He knew he shouldn’t have said that, but he couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t help how he felt and he couldn’t help that he never felt that way for longer than a few months. He didn’t want to hurt Dean, but he loved him.

“Um…okay. Attractive, albeit slightly odd, guy wants to date me, I’m not gonna say no.”

“But?”

“It’s a bad idea.” Cas grinned.

“Of course it is! I’m _always_ a bad idea. That doesn’t stop most people.” Cas leaned forward and folded his arms on the table. “I get it if you don’t wanna do this. I’m a walking disaster and I will inevitably break your heart. I don’t mean to do it, but no one can hold my interest forever. I like you a lot, and you seem to like me too, but if you don’t want this, that’s fine.” Dean didn’t say anything. He barely moved. Cas didn’t move either. He waited to see what Dean would do.

“I’ll get back to you on that.” Dean flagged down the waiter and ordered a beer.


	16. Chapter 16

Dean got back to Cas almost a month later. They were sitting on the hood of the Continental, sharing a six-pack. It was after hours, so they were alone. Even Bobby had gone home well over two hours ago. It was a perfect night. The air was cool, but not cold, so they were both in jeans and t-shirts. Cas was wearing the same pair of nearly destroyed Converse that he always wore. Dean had on grease-stained work boots.

They were quiet for a while. The only sound was the crickets, and the occasional click of Cas’s camera. Over the last four weeks, they had gotten closer. Silences weren’t rare between them and they were comfortable. They had reached a nonverbal agreement that some things didn’t need to be said out loud. So neither of them spoke when Cas rested his head on Dean’s shoulder. Or when Dean wrapped his arm around Cas. Dean hated to admit it, but he was starting to fall for Cas.

“This is nice,” Cas said. He snapped a picture of the sky. “Do you ever wanna go out there?”

“Where? Space?” Cas nodded. “Not really. Earth is big enough. I don’t need to know what’s out there.”

“Well, I’ll wave to you from Mars then.” Dean laughed.

“All right, deal.” Cas moved closer and Dean fought the urge to kiss him. Instead, he opened another beer.

“Why do you drink cheap, shitty beer?”

“Because I’m a poor, mid-western, red-blooded American man,” Dean responded with a smirk.

“Where _are_ you from? I don’t think I ever asked you.”

“Lawrence, Kansas. Sammy and I lived there until he got accepted to Stanford. What about you?”

“Pontiac, Illinois. Small, religious town. It was awful.” Dean’s smirk faded.

“I can’t even imagine.”

“Were your parents okay with you being bi?”

“They never knew. My mom died when I was four, and my dad was…difficult. I was in denial about…well, a lotta things, but I didn’t come out to Sam until I was twenty-one. I didn’t even really wanna do that, but…kinda had to when he caught me making out with one of his study partners.” Cas lifted his head off Dean’s shoulder and looked at him.

“Did you think he wouldn’t accept you?”

“I wasn’t sure. I didn’t wanna risk it. But he came out to me right after, so I guess I had nothing to worry about.”

“Even if Sam were straight, I don’t think he’d have a problem with it. He’s your brother. He loves you.”

“I know he does. I love him, too. He’s my baby brother. He’ll always be the most important person in my life.”

“I understand that. Gabriel means the world to me. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for him.” They fell silent again. Dean couldn’t stop himself from stealing glances at Cas. He wanted to say something, but he wasn’t sure it was the right time. He stole another glance. Cas was staring up at the stars with a wistful look on his face.

“I’ve been thinking,” Dean started, taking a long pull from his third beer.

“You know how to do that?” Cas laughed when Dean rolled his eyes and Dean couldn’t hide his smile.

“Shut up, I’m serious. I…” He wasn’t sure how to phrase what he wanted to say. “I like spending time with you. I think…” Dean bit his lip and glanced over. Cas was waiting patiently for him to finish, a small smile on his face. “Sorry, I’m usually good at this. Guess you make me nervous.”

“Clearly.” Cas took initiative. He put his hand on the back of Dean’ neck, leaned in, and kissed him. Dean closed his eyes and leaned into it. He was better with actions than he was with words. He moved closer, gently biting at Cas’ lips. He parted them and Dean slipped his tongue in his mouth. Cas matched his movements perfectly as the kiss heated up.

As they mapped every inch of each other’s mouths, Dean threaded his fingers through Cas’ thick, near-black hair. He knew it was a bad idea, but he was finding it hard to care. Cas wasn’t like any other person he had ever met before, and Dean was falling faster than he wanted to admit. Cas pulled out of the kiss first. It was a slow, languid separation, and Dean had to fight the urge to chase his lips for another kiss.

“Is that what you were trying to say?” Dean cleared his throat.

“Yeah, something like that.” Cas chuckled.

“Well said. If this is really what you want, I’m in, but I have to make sure you understand that I’m not in this for a long haul. It’ll only be a few months, at the most.” Dean nodded. He didn’t want something serious. He had already tried that and it blew up in his face. He wasn’t going to risk his emotions like that again. He was okay with a few months of fun with Cas, though.

“I understand that. I don’t want anything serious. I’m in this for as long as you can stand having me around.”

“You say that like I don’t enjoy your company.” Cas put his hand on Dean’s knee and moved closer. He touched his lips to Dean’s ear. “Maybe we should take this back to your place.” A chill ran down Dean’s spine when Cas’ breath ghosted over his ear. He chuckled and pressed a quick kiss to Cas’ lips.

“I would, but I’m still staying with Charlie, and I think she’d probably kill us. So, I guess our options are your place, Bobby’s office, or…” Dean glanced at the backseat of the Continental.

“My place. I’m guessing Bobby probably wouldn’t be too happy if we had sex in his office, and we probably shouldn’t desecrate the car until you’re done fixing her.”

“Fair enough.” They climbed off the hood of the Continental and got into Baby. For a split second Dean thought about pulling Cas into the backseat, but then he thought better of it. He wasn’t prepared. He started the engine and drove fast. Cas didn’t take his hands off him the entire drive.

“Come on.” Cas peppered the side of Dean’s neck with little kisses.

“Do you _want_ me to crash? Calm down.” Cas hummed quietly against the shell of Dean’s ear. A rush of adrenaline shot through him. He pressed the accelerator a little closer to the floor. Cas ran his hand up Dean’s thigh and over the bugle in his jeans. The car swerved and Dean cursed under his breath. The last thing he wanted to do was wreck Baby because Cas couldn’t control himself for ten minutes.

“Come on, Dean, just pull over.”

“Oh, hell no. I’m not getting arrested for public indecency because you can’t wait five minutes.” Cas laughed.

“Fine, fine, fine, but I’m gonna make you pay for making me wait.” Dean smirked to try and hide his nervousness. Cas was small, but he was strong, and he definitely had a bossy side. Dean wasn’t sure what he was getting himself into, but he was practically vibrating with anticipation.

As soon as he parked Baby on the street in front of Cas’ building, Cas was all over him. Dean wasn’t sure if he was grateful or resentful for the bench seat in that moment. He liked that Cas was so…energetic, but he wanted to at least get inside first. Cas climbed onto his lap and Dean groaned when he moved against him.

“Cas…let’s get inside first.”

“You’re killing me, Dean.” They got out of the car. Dean barely had time to make sure she was locked before Cas grabbed his hand and pulled him up the stairs.


	17. Chapter 17

When Cas woke up the next morning, the first thing he realized was that he was actually in bed. He couldn’t remember the last time he hadn’t passed out on the couch. The second thing was that the other side of the bed was still warm. He bolted up as memories from the night before came flooding back. Dean was gone. The bed being warm didn’t mean anything. He had probably slipped out a few minutes before he woke up. Cas groaned, and fell back against the pillows. He was contemplating checking his phone to see if Dean had left him another text when he heard a gruff voice from the doorway.

“Morning, tiger.” Cas opened his eyes to see Dean leaning against the doorframe. “Sorry if I woke you up. I was gonna make you breakfast, but…you have no food.” Cas sat up a little.

“Broke college student, Dean.”

“Well, that’s unacceptable. Get dressed. We’re going to breakfast, and then we’re going shopping.” Cas blinked. He wasn’t used to be ordered around. All of his relationships had been with people who would bend over backwards just to keep him happy. That was what made them all so boring.

“That…kinda sounds like a date.”

“It is. As long as you’re with me, I’m not letting you live off of Ramen and…I think I saw a tin of Altoids?”

“That’s actually empty. I use it to carry spare cards for my camera.”

“Oh, my God.” Dean laughed lightly. “Cas, how do you live this?”

“Well, I spend most of my time at school, or hanging around the garage. And whenever I’m in a relationship, I usually spend my time at their apartment.” Maggie ran past Dean, and jumped up onto the bed. She started licking Cas’s face and he laughed. “Hey, Maggie.” He scratched behind her ears. “Maggie, this is Dean. Dean, Maggie.” Dean crossed the room and held out his hand. Maggie sniffed him for a moment before licking his hand. Dean smiled.

“Guess she likes me.”

“Good, because her opinion is important to me.”

“So, you trust a dog’s judgment better than your own?”

“My judgment tends to get a little clouded when it comes to attractive people. Although, I don’t stay with most of them long enough for them to meet Maggie.”

“Then I’ll consider myself special. Come on, get up. I’ve got work later, and I can’t be late because of you.” Cas got up, set Maggie on the floor, then rummaged through his dresser. He pulled on a pair of jeans that had definitely seen better days, and an old t-shirt that was covered in paint marks.

“So, where are you taking me on our first official date?”

“I was thinking the coffee shop we were supposed to meet at when Charlie first tried to get us together.”

“A coffee shop. How romantic.” Dean rolled his eyes before pulling Cas in for a soft kiss.

“I’ll take you on a real, nice date tonight after my shift. I promise.”

“You’re very sweet.”

“Come on.” Cas followed Dean down to his car. Baby. It was a fitting name. The car was gorgeous, and Cas definitely wanted to spend a little more time with her once they were done with the Continental. Baby might not have been project worthy, but she still deserved his attention. Dean started the engine, and pulled away from the curb. It was only then that Cas realized he had left his earbuds somewhere in his apartment. He reached for the radio, and Dean smacked his hand.

“Right, sorry. I don’t really like silence.”

“No, I’m sorry. We like the same music, so it doesn’t really matter.”

“No, it’s your car. I need to respect your rules. But if you wouldn’t mind putting on Led Zeppelin, I’d appreciate it.” Dean grinned.

“You’re awesome, Cas.” He popped a tape into the deck, and pressed play. _Ramble On_ came through the speakers. “This is my favorite song. Well, one of them.”

“Mine, too.” Cas lifted his camera, and took a picture of Dean’s smile. It was beautiful. “Oh, I think this goes without saying, but we don’t tell our brothers about this.”

“I know. I’ll probably have to tell Charlie since I didn’t go home last night, and I didn’t tell her where I’d be. I’ll text you if you need to be on guard for rapid fire questions tomorrow.”

“Thanks.”

“You can hang out at the garage, if you want. I’ve got a short shift today. Five hours.” Cas considered it. It wasn’t like he had anything else to do all day, and he needed a few more pictures of the Continental anyway.

“Sure. I think I’d like that. I can observe you in your natural habitat.” Dean rolled his eyes, but he was grinning.

“Shut up.”

Three o’clock rolled around way too quickly. When Dean pulled up in front of the garage, Cas hung back for a moment to take a picture of the sign. Then he followed Dean inside. He was greeted with the smell of motor oil, and Gabriel leaning against a Porsche. He was sucking on a lollipop, per usual, and talking to Dean.

“Hey, buzzkill,” he called. Gabriel caught his eye.

“Hey, Cassie!” Cas groaned. Gabriel hadn’t called him that in years, and he didn’t miss it. Dean raised an eyebrow.

“Cassie, huh?”

“Please don’t,” Cas begged, walking over. He almost went to kiss Dean’s cheek, but then remembered that his brother wasn’t supposed to know.

“Oh, I won’t. I have an ex named Cassie. She was the first person I ever loved. That might get weird.” Dean looked around the garage. “Where do you want me to start?”

“How about you pop the hood on this douchebag’s car while I take my break?”

“Got it.” Dean got to work, and Cas followed Gabriel out back.

“Car looks good,” Gabriel said, sitting at the picnic table.

“It’s getting there. Dean said she should be done before the end of next month.”

“Just in time for you to turn in your project.”

“Yup. So how are things with you and Sam?” Gabriel’s entire face lit up, and Cas immediately took a picture.

“Sam’s great! I’m a little disappointed Dean didn’t introduce us earlier, but we’re making up for lost time.”

“He probably thought it’d be weird, but I’m glad things are working out. It’s good to see you happy.”

“Thanks, Cas. What’s going on with you and Dean? You guys seem to be spending a lot more time together.” Cas shrugged.

“We’re friends.” Gabriel raised a skeptical eyebrow. “All right, I love him. But we’re still friends. I told Charlie I wouldn’t act on my feelings, so I didn’t.” Cas felt a little bad for lying, but he knew how his brother would react.

“Good,” Gabriel said. “Don’t get me wrong, Cas, I love ya, but you’re a mess. If things ended badly between you, things would get complicated for everyone.”

“I know. I figure this’ll go away in a few months, so I’m keeping my mouth shut.” That part wasn’t a lie. Cas had every intention of keeping his feelings to himself. He didn’t see the point in telling Dean that he loved him. Dean didn’t feel the same way, and he would be over it soon enough.

“Who’s taking the car when it’s done?”

“Dean. I don’t need it for anything, and he’s putting all the work into it. It’s only fair he gets to keep it.”

“Dean already has a car, and he wouldn’t be caught dead driving anything else unless it was an absolute emergency. He’d never cheat on his Baby.” Cas laughed.

“Seriously?”

“He loves that car more than anything in the world.” Gabriel paused. “Where are your earbuds?”

“Somewhere in my apartment. I was in a rush this morning. I forgot them.”

“I think you’re more likely to forget your keys than forget your earbuds.”

“Shut up.”

“What happened? Why were you in a rush?”

“What’s the difference? Why does it matter? I forgot my earbuds, I survived. Can we drop it?” Gabriel held up his hands in mock surrender.

“All right, sorry. Geez, someone’s touchy.”

“I didn’t get a lotta sleep last night,” was all Cas said. Gabriel didn’t say anything, but the look on his face was unmistakeable. Cas sighed. Maybe spending the rest of the day at the garage wasn’t such a good idea.


	18. Chapter 18

Dean wiped the sweat from his brow with his rag. He had been fighting with the carburetor in the Continental for the last three hours and he was getting nowhere. It was the last thing under the hood that needed to be replaced. He bit out a curse and gave it another yank. He breathed a sigh of relief when he felt it move a little. He was at least making progress. He was still fighting with it ten minutes later when he heard someone sigh.

“Ya know, I really don’t know what’s worse. You shirtless, or your shirt so drenched in sweat that it’s clinging to you.” Dean smiled and turned around.

“Hey, Cas.” He walked over. “Thought you were supposed to be in class for another hour?”

“Me and Charlie ditched out. We were bored. Thought I’d see what you were up to.”

“I’m about twenty minutes from putting this thing in neutral and pushing it off a fucking cliff.”

“Yeah, looked like you were having some trouble.” Cas set his messenger bag and camera on the ground beside the wall. “Want some help?”

“Uh, no offense, Cas, but you’re…not a mechanic.” Cas smirked.

“That’s not what you were gonna say. I’m stronger than I look,” he moved into Dean’s personal space, and whispered against his ear, “but you already know that.” Dean groaned.

“Why do you do this to me?”

“Because I know it drives you crazy.” Cas walked past him and over to the Continental. “I assume you’re trying to get this thingie out?”

“That’s the carburetor and yes.” Cas rolled his eyes before flexing his fingers and taking hold of it. He pulled on it a few times before giving it one hard yank. It slid out and Cas dropped it on the ground. He wiped his hands on his jeans and turned back to Dean. “That was easy. How long have you been trying to do that?”

“I loosened it for you,” Dean muttered.

“Sure, Dean. Whatever you need to believe.” Cas picked up his camera and took a few pictures. “So, are you done for the day, or what?”

“I can be. Why, you wanna do something?”

“Charlie asked me if I wanted to go to dinner with her and Gilda.”

“You want me to go with so you don’t have to third-wheel.”

“Would you? I love them, I really do, but they can be overbearing when they’re together.”

“I live with them, I get it,” Dean said with a small smile. “Sure, I’ll tag along.”

“Oh, thank you.”

“I’ll see if Sammy and Gabe wanna come, too.”

“Well, if we’re gonna make this a family affair, I’d better get this out of the way now.” Before Dean could ask him what he meant by that, Cas pushed him up against the side of the garage, and sealed their lips together. Dean sighed into the kiss, his hands resting on Cas’ hips. He hated that they had to hide this, but he loved it at the same time. The prospect of getting caught added a certain level of excitement to it. They kissed for several long minutes before Dean pulled back to take a proper breath.

“You sure we can’t do that in front of our brothers?” Cas chuckled.

“Yeah, Dean, sure. Just let me make arrangements to get us out of the country first.”

“Would it really be that bad?”

“Gabe doesn’t trust me not to hurt you.”

“You care so much what your brother thinks?” Cas shook his head.

“It’s not that. He doesn’t control my life, and he can’t tell me what to do, but I love him. He’s got a good thing going with Sam, and if things end badly between us, things could get weird for them. It’s easier if they don’t know.”

“I guess.” Dean put his arm around Cas’ shoulders. “So where are we going to dinner?”

“That really fancy restaurant on Clayborne.” Dean raised an eyebrow. “Gilda insisted.”

“Fine. But if I hear _one_ word out of you, you’ll be going home by yourself.” Dean didn’t do suits. Dean didn’t like suits, and Cas knew that. He also knew that commenting on any suits he was forced to wear would be met with outright hostility for at least the next twenty-four hours.

“Yes, I know. Can we go?”

* * *

“Can’t remember the last time I saw you in a suit,” Sam said. Dean didn’t say anything, but he knew when the last time was. Their father’s funeral. After that day he had vowed to never wear a suit again. But fancy restaurants required fancy clothes, and he was willing to make the sacrifice every once in a while if it meant having a nice evening with his friends, and family.

“I think he looks cute,” Charlie said.

“Absolutely adorable,” Gilda agreed.

“Can please talk about something else?” Dean grumbled. He caught Cas’ smirk and gave him a warning look.

“How’s the car coming?” Gabriel asked.

“Good. I’m gonna put the new carburetor in tomorrow, then I’ve just got a few more things to tweak under the hood, and the interior. I should have it done within the month.”

“You might wanna give it a paint job, too,” Charlie said. “That color is hideous.”

“Maybe I will.” He still hadn’t talked to Cas about that. It was his car, and if he liked the color, then Dean wasn’t going to touch it.

“Have you picked a name for it?” Sam asked.

“What?”

“Well, you call the Impala ‘Baby’, so I was just curious.”

“I call her Baby because she is my baby, and I would lay my life down for her as quick as I would for any of you. Maybe if this car proves to be as loyal, I’ll give it a name.”

“You are truly ridiculous,” Cas said.

“He’s ridiculous?” Gabriel laughed. “Do remember when you were ten and had an obsession with bees? And your answer to every question was ‘I watch the bees’?” Everyone laughed with the exception of Cas. Instead, Cas fired back with,

“At least I don’t still play dress up. Who were you pretending to be again? Loki?”

“That was performance art!”

“For your dog?”

“All right you two, knock it off,” Sam interrupted. “Can we all act like adults, please?”

“I don’t think you’re one to talk about being an adult, Sammy. I’m pretty sure adults aren’t afraid of clowns.”

“Adults also aren’t afraid of planes.”

“Hey, planes crash!”

“And three years ago there were killer clowns everywhere for like three months.”

“Okay, so we all know embarrassing stories about each other. I agree with Sam. Can we please just act like adults?” No one argued, or pulled out another story when Gilda spoke. She had a way of saying things that could calm an entire room.

The rest of the night was filled with idle chitchat that Dean would never remember in the morning. He spent most of the time stealing glances at Cas, and reminding himself that there were other people around. He couldn’t touch him the way he wanted to. He couldn’t kiss his cheek, or tell him he looked cute when he blushed. It was frustrating. He understood Cas’ position on keeping their relationship a secret, but it seemed a little unfair that they should have to hide their happiness just to make sure their brothers were happy.

Dean loved Sam more than anyone in the world, and he considered Gabriel a good friend, but the longer they sat there, all trading stories about each other, the more Dean began to realize that he was falling in love with Cas.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas Eve bitches!! I'm updating this a little early because I have to work an 8-hour shift at work and I won't be near my computer again until around 9PM and I'll probably be drunk.

Charlie tried to kill me!” Cas snapped. Dean jumped and hit his head on the raised hood of the car he was working on.

“You are _so_ dramatic.” Charlie gave Dean a hug. “Tell him to stop being such a baby.”

“What happened?” Dean asked.

“She shouldn’t be allowed to drive!”

“I drive fine, there’s no need to yell about it.”

“You really don’t,” Dean said. “I don’t even know how you got your license. You’re fast and reckless.” Charlie crossed her arms.

“Pot calling the kettle black, don’t you think?”

“I’m fast and careful. There’s a difference.” Cas laughed.

“Dean, you’re a worse driver than Charlie. I just don’t say anything because you’ll throw me out of the car again.”

“Shut up. You wanna see the car, or not?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Cas followed Dean out back. When he was sure Charlie wouldn’t follow them, Cas pulled Dean in for a proper kiss.

“I missed you all day.” Dean pinned Cas against the driver’s side of the Continental and kissed him thoroughly.

“I missed you, too.”

“Six more weeks and I’m done with school. We’ll have more time together then.” Cas was surprised to hear himself say it, but he meant it. He wasn’t in any hurry to end things with Dean. He loved him, and the feeling wasn’t fading like it usually did. At least, not yet.

“Good.” Dean assessed the Continental. “I should be done with her in a few weeks. It’s really just details at this point.”

“She looks great. Were you gonna give her a paint job?”

“I was gonna let you decide. It’s your car.” Cas blinked.

“What?”

“It’s your car. I don’t need it and Sam won’t take it. It’s yours.”

“But…Dean, you put all the work into it. I’m just using it for a my project. If anyone should take it, it’s you.”

“I’ve got Baby. If you don’t want it, that’s fine. I can probably sell it for quite a bit. I just thought I’d offer.” Cas could see the hurt in Dean’s eyes, even though he tried to hide it. He snapped a picture before saying,

“I’ll take it.” He wasn’t sure what he was going to do with it since he didn’t really drive, but he couldn’t stand to see that look.

“You don’t have to, Cas.”

“No, I want to. You put a lotta work into it and I’d hate to see it go to someone else. No one else would appreciate it the way it deserves.”

“You’re sure?”

“Definitely.” Cas pressed a kiss to Dean’s lips. Dean smiled.

“Thanks, Cas. So are we eating in tonight?”

“Only if you want expired Ramen and some Tic-Tacs.”

“Cas…” Dean shook his head and laughed. “I can’t keep doing your shopping for you. You’re an adult.” Cas gasped.

“How dare you? I am _not_ an adult.”

“Not gonna argue with that,” a voice said from behind them. Cas spun around to face his brother.

“You know what? Fuck off, Gabe.”

“Hey, you said it. I just wasn’t disagreeing.” He looked over at the car. “Looks good, Dean.”

“Thanks. When did you get here?”

“Two minutes ago. Talked to Charlie, she said you guys were back here.” Gabriel surveyed the car. “Please tell me you’re gonna give it a paint job. It’s horrible.”

“That’s up to Cas.”

“I’ll think of a color,” Cas said. Truthfully, he had already decided that he wanted the car painted green, to match Dean’s eyes, but he couldn’t say that in front of his brother. Charlie came outside.

“Hey, guys, as fun as this is, I’ve still got a few papers to write before the end of the semester.” She addressed Cas. “Do you need a ride, or are you just gonna stay here for a while?”

“As much as I’d like to hang out here, I’ve gotta walk Maggie.” Cas smiled at Dean. “Maybe I’ll see ya later.”

“I’ll text you.”

“Okay.” Cas smiled to himself as he followed Charlie back to the front of the garage. He still hadn’t told Dean he loved him yet, but it was getting harder and harder not to. He didn’t care if he said it back, but he didn’t want to scare him off. He would wait for Dean to say it first. Or he would get bored before that happened. Either way, he wasn’t going to say it first. Not this time.

“Hey,” Charlie said once they were in the car, “I just wanted to say thanks for not going after Dean. He’s doing better since his breakup and it’s nice that he has you as a friend.” Cas nodded.

“Of course, Charlie.” He tried not to squirm in his seat. He hated lying to the people he was close to, but he knew how everyone would react, and that was his own fault. It was one thing for him to date a different random person every few weeks or months, but when it was a mutual friend, and their brothers were dating, it was different. He knew that. He had known that going in, he just didn’t care. It didn’t seem like Dean cared either. Maybe that was all that mattered. So what if their friends didn’t like it? They were happy. Everyone else would get used to it eventually. By the time Charlie dropped him off outside his apartment, Cas had decided that he needed to talk to Dean when they saw each other later. He let himself into his apartment, dropped his bag on the closest chair, and knelt down to pet Maggie.

“Hey, girl.” Maggie nosed his hand, then licked him. “Yeah, I just saw Dean. He’ll be here tonight, I think.” Maggie barked once. “Yeah, I love him, too. Think I should tell him?” Maggie barked twice. “You’re probably right. I’ll wait. The last thing I need is him running out on me.” Maggie tilted her head. “I can’t believe it either, but it’s not going away, so I might as well embrace it.” Cas got to his feet. “Come on, let’s go for a walk.”

* * *

Cas was pacing his apartment when Dean showed up almost four hours later. He opened the door two seconds after the knock came. Dean looked surprised. He walked in, dropping his jacket on top of Cas’s bag.

“You okay, babe?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Just…uh…can we talk?”

“Sure.” They sat on the couch and Dean put his hand over Cas’s shaking ones. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. Um…listen, I was thinking, a lot, about this. I like what we have, but I hate that we have to hide it.”

“Me, too.”

“So why don’t we just tell everyone? I know it was my idea to keep it a secret, but I’m so tired of it. We’re happy, and everyone else can just deal with it, right?” Cas waited for Dean to say something. Instead, he leaned across the couch, and kissed him. “Mm. Can I take that as a yes?”

“Yeah. I’d like that. I hate that I have to be careful of who’s around before I kiss you. I hate that I can’t touch you whenever I want, and I can’t call you ‘babe’ unless we’re alone. We shouldn’t have to keep this a secret just because it might get weird for other people. I like you too much.”

“I like you, too.” Cas breathed a small sigh of relief that Dean was on board, even though a small part of him still wanted to tell Dean he loved him.

“When should we tell everyone?”

“We’re we still planning on all going out after Charlie, Sam, and I graduate?”

“Yeah.”

“Let’s do it then.”

“Cas, that’s in _six weeks_.”

“I know, but I’d rather not upset people right before graduation. Charlie still has papers to do, and I’m sure Sam still has finals. They can’t afford to be distracted.” Dean sighed.

“You’re right, you’re right. I just wish…” Cas smiled.

“I know. Me, too.” Dean returned the smile, and leaned in for a kiss.


	20. Chapter 20

Dean woke up later than usual. He opened his eyes, and blinked against the harsh sunlight. He rolled over, and grabbed his phone off the cluttered nightstand. He checked the time, then bolted up. It was half past eight. He jumped up and ran into the kitchen. Cas was sitting on the counter, eating a bowl of cereal.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Dean asked, pouring himself a quick cup of coffee.

“You’re cute when you sleep and we did get to bed late last night.”

“Doesn’t matter. I’m late for work now. Bobby’s gonna be pissed.” Cas hopped off the counter and gave him a kiss.

“I’m sorry. Next time, I’ll wake you up. But for right now, since you’re already late, you have a minute.” He walked over to a small basket that was barely visible under a pile of papers. He fished something out, and tossed it over. Dean caught it. It was a key.

“What’s this?”

“It’s the spare key to my apartment. I’ve been meaning to give it to someone since I moved in, but I don’t trust Gabriel, and I don’t really have any friends that I’m close enough with.” Dean swallowed.

“Are you sure?” Cas smiled.

“If I weren’t, I wouldn’t’ve offered. You’re free to come and go whenever you’d like. Now get outta here before Bobby kills you.” Cas gave him one more kiss and Dean walked out the door, still trying to process what had happened. He slipped the key into his pocket and decided to deal with the significance of it later. He only ended up being five minutes late, but that didn’t stop Bobby from saying something.

“You’re late, Winchester.”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry. I overslept.”

“You’re wearing the same clothes you were yesterday.”

“I know. I stayed with a friend last night, and if I had gone home to change I would’ve been even later. It won’t happen again, I promise.”

“It better not.” Bobby went back into his office and Dean walked into the garage. Gabriel was rotating the tires on a rickety looking truck. He grinned when he saw him.

“Hey, look who decided to show up!”

“Bite me, Novak. I’m only five minutes late.”

“Yeah, but you’re wearing the same clothes. Who’d you hook up with?”

“No one. I was hanging out with Cas, we didn’t realize how late it was, and he let me crash on his couch. I forgot to set my alarm, and I didn’t have time to go home.”

“Cas doesn’t like people visiting his apartment, never mind staying the night. What makes you so special?” Dean shrugged.

“Got me. Maybe you should ask him.”

“Last time I ask him about you he snapped at me. I don’t need that again. Wanna help me with this?” Dean moved through his day in a fog. He still did his job flawlessly, but it felt like the key Cas had given him was burning a hole in his pocket. He was reading too much into it. He had to be. Cas liked him enough to sleep with him, and let him spend the night occasionally. That was it. Cas had said himself that he didn’t get deep feelings. By the time Dean took his break, he had made up his mind that Cas was just dumping his key on him like everyone else seemed to. That put his mind at ease a little. His phone rang, starling him out of his head.

“Hey, Sammy.”

“It’s Sam,” his brother grumbled.

“You’ll always be Sammy to me, no matter how old you are. What’s up?”

“I don’t know if Gabe mentioned anything to you, but are you and Cas free for dinner tonight? We kinda need to talk to you.”

“Is everything okay?” Dean asked, fully prepared to go back inside and beat Gabriel within an inch of his life.

“Everything’s fine, Dean, calm down. We just need to talk to you.”

“All right. Hold on a minute.” Dean pulled the phone away form his ear, and sent a text to Cas.

**Dean [12:03pm]:** Hey Sammy wants to know if you’re free for dinner tonight. He and Gabe need to talk to us. He said it’s not bad.

 **Cas [12:06pm]:** Sure. My last class ends at four.

 **Dean [12:07pm]:** Great! See ya later.

Dean put the phone back to his ear.

“He’s free. His last class ends at four.”

“Okay. So let’s say six at my place. I’ll cook.”

“I get off at two. I’ll come by, and help. God knows you need it.”

“Shut up, jerk.”

“Bitch,” Dean replied with a smirk. “I’ll see ya in a few hours, Sammy.”

“Bye, Dean.” Dean stuck his phone back in his pocket, and went back into the garage. Gabriel was fighting with the lift controls.

“You’re gonna get yourself killed.” Dean pushed him out of the way, and got the car down. “So what do you and Sam need to talk to me and Cas about?”

“Oh, no,” Gabriel said, taking the lollipop out of his mouth. “Me and Sam agreed to do this together. You’re not getting anything outta me.” Dean held up his hands.

“All right, I was just asking.” The last two hours of Dean’s shift went by pretty uneventfully. He stayed an extra half hour to make up for being late, then drove back to Charlie’s. He showered, changed, and made it to Sam’s before three.

“Thought you were coming straight from work?” Sam said in greeting.

“Well, hello to you, too.” Dean walked in. “I stayed a little later to make up for being late, and then I stopped by Charlie’s to take a shower. And I brought wine, so quit bitching. What are we making?”

“Well, we got banned from using the grill after you almost started a fire on 4th of July, so I figured pasta would be safe.”

“That was not my fault. Your neighbors need to control their dog.”

“Whatever, Dean. Do you think you can boil water without too much trouble?”

“I will smack you.” Dean went into the kitchen, and found a pot. He filled it with water, and left it on the stove to boil. “What’s so important that you felt the need to invite both of us over for dinner?”

“We’ll tell you when they get here,” Sam said. He looked up from the onions he was chopping. “Just know that this is really important to me, and I need your support.”

“Okay, Sammy, you’re scaring me.”

“It’s nothing bad, I promise. Just…promise me I have your support.”

“Of course. Always. You know that.”

“Thank you. Now, why were you late for work?”

“I was hanging out with Cas last night and we kinda lost track of time, so he let me crash on his couch. I forgot to set my alarm, and I woke up late.”

“You spent the night with Cas?”

“When you say it that way it sounds weird. I was exhausted and I didn’t feel like driving home. He was being a good friend.” Sam leaned against the counter.

“Dean, this is me. I can read you like a book. Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t have feelings for him.” Dean crossed his arms, and stared his little brother down.

“I don’t have feelings for Cas.” The words left a bitter taste in his mouth. He hated lying to Sam, but his gaze didn’t waver. “He’s a good friend. That’s all.” They had a staring contest for a little over a minute before Sam relented.

“Fine. Your water’s boiling.” Dean left Sam alone with his vegetables, and dumped a box of spaghetti into the pot. It had been a long time since Dean had actually cooked a meal with his brother. He was amazed at how effortlessly they slipped back into their old habits. They moved around each other seamlessly. It made Dean smile. He missed spending quality time with his brother. He tried to visit him at least once a week, but it wasn’t the same as when they lived together. Sam was the only blood family he had left, and he wanted to hold on to it.

“Hey, Sammy,” Dean said as he put the finishing touches on the pasta, “we should do this more often.”

“You mean it?”

“Yeah. I like this. I like spending time with you. I miss it.” Sam smiled.

“I miss it, too.” Dean swallowed the guilt creeping up his throat. He knew he hadn’t been the best brother, and he never apologized for it.

“I’m sorry, Sam.”

“What for?”

“The way I acted after Dad died. I didn’t handle it well, and I should’ve been there for you.” Sam shook his head.

“You were a kid, Dean. We both were. I never blamed you for anything, or felt like you didn’t care about me. And it’s in the past now. We’re both adults. We’ve got each other, we’ve got Bobby, and we’ve got great friends. That’s all I need.” Sam gave Dean a hug. Dean smiled, even though a part of him didn’t think he deserved Sam’s forgiveness so easily.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely people. Sorry for the slightly late update. My mom's birthday was on Saturday, but I had to work so we celebrated today and...let's just say time flies when you're drinking daiquiris.

“We’re moving in together.” Cas spit his wine back into his glass.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“We’re moving in together,” Gabriel repeated. Cas looked at Dean.

“Are you sure about this?” Dean asked. “It seems a bit…fast.”

“ _Very_ fast.”

“We’re sure,” Sam said. “We’ve talked about it and we both think we’re ready. Gabe’s lease is up at the end of next month and he’s gonna move in here.” Dean broke into a grin.

“That’s great guys! I’m really happy for you.” Gabriel looked at Cas.

“Cas?”

“Yeah, it’s great.”

“Well don’t sound so enthusiastic.”

“I’m sorry. I’m happy for you, it just feels…I dunno. It doesn’t matter how I feel anyway. As long as you guys are happy, I’m good.” He got up from the table and walked out onto the small balcony off the living room. He really was happy for his brother, he just felt that their relationship was moving too quickly. Gabriel didn’t sleep around as much as he did, but he still had a hard time staying in a relationship for longer than six months. He and Sam had barely been dating for two. It didn’t seem like a good idea.

“You okay?” Cas turned around and leaned against the railing. He half-smiled at Dean.

“I’m fine. I just think they’re moving too fast.”

“I do, too. But when you know, you know. Different relationships move at different paces. If they think they’re ready for it, then I don’t think we’re in any position to tell them they shouldn’t.”

“You’re right. I just don’t wanna see either of them get hurt.”

“I know.” Dean glanced over his shoulder, then closed the distance between them and placed a warm kiss on Cas’s lips. “But since we’re dropping big news tonight…”

“Three more weeks, Dean. I want Charlie and Gilda there, too. Charlie’s already gonna be mad. She’ll be even more pissed if we tell Sam and Gabe before her.”

“Fine, fine, but this is killing me.”

“I know. Me, too. Come on, they’re gonna come looking for us in a minute.” Cas followed Dean back inside.

“You sure you’re okay, Cas?” Sam asked. Cas smiled.

“Yeah, I’m good. And I really am happy for you guys. You make a great couple and I’ve never seen Gabe happier.” The rest of dinner went smoothly. Cas and Gabriel did the dishes, then Dean gave Cas a ride back to his apartment. Dean seemed nervous about something the entire drive and, by the time he stopped outside the building, Cas could feel the tension radiating off him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Have a good night.”

“Do you wanna come up?”

“Probably shouldn’t. I’ve got work tomorrow morning and I can’t be late again. Maybe I’ll come by tomorrow night.”

“Okay. Goodnight.” Cas stole one last kiss before he got out of the car and went upstairs. Something was definitely bothering Dean. He dropped onto the couch and scratched Maggie behind the ears as he sent a text.

**Cas [8:34pm]:** You sure you’re okay?

He knew Dean wouldn’t text while he was driving so he didn’t expect a response right away. He looked down at Maggie.

“I have to tell him I love him.” Maggie licked his hand. “I know it’s a bad idea, but I can’t keep doing this. He needs to know.” Maggie barked. “Because not telling him is killing me. It hurts knowing that I can’t say anything because I might scare him off, even though I’ll probably end up breaking up with him in a few months anyway.” Maggie growled. “Don’t give me that. You know as well as I do that this isn’t gonna last. It never lasts. I can’t help it.” Maggie bit his finger. “Ow. Knock it off, Maggs.” His phone pinged.

**Dean [8:47pm]:** I’m fine.

 **Cas [8:48pm]:** You know you can talk to me, right?

 **Dean [8:50pm]:** Nothing to talk about. I’ll see ya tomorrow.

Something tugged in Cas’s chest. Whatever was bothering Dean was big and it bothered him that he wouldn’t talk to him about it. He set his phone on the coffee table and turned on the TV. He would talk to Dean tomorrow.

* * *

“Have you talked to Dean?” Charlie looked up from her laptop, and frowned.

“No, why?”

“It seemed like something was bothering him yesterday, but he wouldn’t talk about it.” Cas tapped his fingers against the table.

“You gotta get used to that, Cas. Dean doesn’t talk about a lot. He feels like he’s bothering people, so he keeps everything to himself.”

“That’s not healthy.”

“I know, but I can’t get him to break the habit. Neither can Sam. Dean would rather help everyone else with all of their issues, than deal with his own. Why are you so interested?”

“We’re friends. I’m worried about him.” Cas’s alarm went off. He grabbed his messenger bag and headed for his last class of the day. He had to survive three more weeks and then he was done.

As soon as his class let out, Cas caught a ride to the garage with Charlie. He needed to see where Dean was on the Continental and he wanted to talk to him. When Charlie dropped him off, he found Dean standing by the coffee machine.

“Hey,” he said. Dean turned around and grinned.

“Hey, I’m glad you’re here! I finished the car!”

“You did?”

“Yup! Come on.” Cas followed Dean out back. He stopped short when he saw the car. It was in mint condition and the ugly gold color had been replaced with a shade of blue that matched Cas’s eyes perfectly.

“Oh my, God.”

“I know I said I’d let you pick the color, but I just couldn’t help it. Do you like it?” Cas responded by pulling Dean into a passionate kiss.

“I love it, Dean. It’s beautiful.” The smile on Dean’s face was worth keeping the car he didn’t really want.

“You wanna take her for a spin?”

“After I get the last few pictures I need for a my project. It’s due next week.”

“Well, I guess I finished it just in time then.” Cas grabbed his camera and took the last pictures he needed. Then he got behind the wheel and turned the key. The engine roared to life as Dean climbed into the passenger’s seat.

“This is incredible.”

“I’m glad you’re happy. And I’m really glad you stopped by today.”

“I actually did stop by for a reason not related to this.”

“Oh?”

“Something’s bothering you and I’d really like you to talk to me about it.” Cas stopped at a light and looked at Dean. Dean was staring out the windshield. “I’m not trying to pressure you, I just…you’re important to me and if there’s something wrong that I can help with, I’d like to know about it.” Dean was silent for nine more minutes before he finally said,

“Why did you give me your spare key?”

“Because I trust you and I thought it would be better for you to just be able to come and go whenever you want. You’re over most of the time anyway.”

“I know. It just feels…like this is more than what we agreed that it was.”

“If you don’t want the key, I can take it back,” Cas said.

“I didn’t say that.”

“I don’t know what you want from me, Dean. I gave you my key because I love you and I wanted you to have it.” Cas saw Dean furrow his brow.

“You what?” It was only then that he realized what he had said.

“I love you. I’ve loved you pretty much since the day I met you. And I didn’t tell you because I promised Charlie I wouldn’t go after you, and I didn’t wanna scare you off.”

“You love me?”

“Yes.”

“Are you _in_ love with me? Or do you love me the way you loved all the other people you’ve been with.” Cas swallowed.

“Neither. I’m not _in_ love with you, I know that, but this is different than it is with other people. I’m sorry. This is why I didn’t tell you. It’s complicated.”

“It’s not complicated, Cas. Either you love me or you don’t.” Cas pulled back into the garage, and cut the engine.

“It’s not that simple for me.”

“You know what, whatever.” Dean took his keys out of his pocket. “Here’s your key back. Maybe I’ll call you.” He got out of the car, leaving Cas cursing himself for opening his mouth


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating early because I can't sleep and I'm bored

“Charlene Bradbury.” Dean couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he watched Charlie walk across the stage. He glance next to him and saw Gilda blowing her girlfriend a kiss. Charlie shot her a wink and gave Dean the Vulcan salute. Dean gave it back.

“Nerd,” Gabriel muttered from his left.

“Shut up, Novak.” They sat through two dozen more names before they got to Cas’s.

“Castiel Novak.” Gabriel whistled obnoxiously loud. Dean made eye contact with Cas and smiled. They hadn’t spoken since their fight…break up…whatever it was, but he wanted Cas to know that he wasn’t mad, because he wasn’t. Cas smiled back. Dean lost count of how many names came before Sam’s.

“Samuel Winchester.” Dean gave his little brother a thumbs up as he walked across the stage. This, he realized, was his proudest moment. He knew Sam still a few more years of school, and the bar exam, but the hardest part was over. Sam had made it. When the ceremony was over, Dean and Gabriel wandered through the crowd looking for their respective siblings, while Gilda went to find Charlie. Dean thought he saw Sam when he was blindsided by a fierce hug from Charlie.

“You guys actually came!” She was smiling.

“Of course we did!” Dean hugged his best friend tightly. “I’m proud of you.”

“I’m proud of you, too,” Gilda told her. She greeted her with a light kiss on the cheek.

“Hey, look who showed up!” Cas was grinning like a madman. He hugged Gabriel.

“I’m really proud of you, Cas. I know how hard you worked for this.”

“Thanks, Gabe.” Cas turned to Dean. Dean smiled a little.

“Congratulations, Cas.”

“Thank you, Dean.” Sam came running over. Dean pulled him into a hug.

“I’m so proud of you, Sam. Mom and Dad would’ve been proud of you, too.”

“Thanks, Dean.”

“So are we gonna go celebrate, or what?” Charlie asked.

“I like that idea,” Cas said. “Maybe let’s get changed first, though. I’m not really digging robes. How about we meet at that nice-ish restaurant on Bleecker at, like, six?”

“Sure. Are you gonna ride with us?” Sam asked. Cas looked at Dean. He nodded slightly.

“I’m gonna catch a ride with Dean, but thanks.” They all went their separate ways. Dean and Cas were completely silent until they got to Baby. Dean spoke first.

“I’m sorry for how I acted. Truth is, I’m kinda crazy about you. I know you don’t do long-term relationships and I’m okay with that. I’m not really looking for anything like that anyway. But I think we’re good together and I think we should keep this going as long as we’re both interested.” Cas smiled.

“That’s what I was trying to say to you. I do love you, though, Dean. I really do. And I know you were really here for Charlie and Sam, but I think I would’ve been a lot more nervous if you weren’t here.” Dean smiled back.

“Of course. You think I wouldn’t come to support my boyfriend?” Cas raised an eyebrow.

“Boyfriend?” Dean bit his lip. They had never actually talked about their label. They agreed that they were dating, but this was the first time either one of them had used the word ‘boyfriend’.

“Is that okay?” Cas grinned.

“Yes!” Dean was pulled into a bone-crushing hug and a familiar warmth began to bloom in his chest. He held Cas against him and kissed the top of his head. He was happy, he was content, and he was completely screwed. He drove Cas back to his apartment and went upstairs with him. Cas immediately walked over the basket on the table. He tossed Dean his spare kay.

“You’re sure?” Dean asked.

“Positive. It’s only right that my boyfriend has a key to my apartment. Are we still gonna tell everyone tonight?”

“Might as well. Everyone’s happy, so maybe they won’t yell at us.”

“Maybe.” Dean followed Cas back to the bedroom and sat on his bed while he got changed.

“How’d you do on your project after all that?”

“Got an A,” Cas replied. “I was gonna tell you, but…I wasn’t sure if you were still mad at me.”

“I wasn’t mad at you, Cas. I was mad at myself. I overreacted. I do that. I got nervous, I snapped, and then I realized what happened and I figured you hated me.” Cas pulled a t-shirt over his head, then sat down beside Dean.

“I thought you hated me. Communication is clearly an issue here. For both of us.”

“Clearly. Talking has always been an issue for me. I’m working on it.”

“That’s okay, but you shouldn’t keep so much to yourself. It isn’t healthy. You have people who care about you. We only wanna help.” Dean leaned in, and kissed Cas softly.

“I know it’s only been three weeks, but I missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too. So did Maggie.” Dean smiled. He wasn’t much of a dog person, but he liked Maggie. She was sweet. He looked around.

“Where is she?”

“Probably sleeping somewhere.” Cas looked at his phone. “We’ve got two hours. You wanna kill some time?” Dean grinned before pinning Cas to the mattress.

***

“You’re late,” Charlie said.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry, we got stuck in traffic,” Dean lied. He and Cas had really just lost track of time, but everyone was bound to figure that out as soon as they came clean about their relationship. They got a table, champagne was poured, and Gilda raised her glass.

“To our three graduates. Congratulations, everyone. This is the beginning of the rest of your lives.” Leave it to Gilda to give Dean the perfect in. Everyone drank, then he said,

“In the spirit of that, I,” he glanced at Cas and couldn’t help smiling, “well, _we_ have an announcement.” Dean put his hand on the table. Cas immediately covered it with him own.

“We’ve been dating for the past three months.” Dean waited for it to settle in, and then waited for Charlie to snap. Instead, Sam grinned.

“Finally! Called it!” Dean blinked and traded a look with Cas.

“You…what?”

“We all knew,” Charlie said. “It was so obvious. You two aren’t as subtle as you think you are.” Cas narrowed his eyes.

“If you knew, then why’d you thank me for not going after him?”

“Because we had a bet going to see when you two would finally come clean. I was hoping I could pull it out of you, but no. Sam called it exactly right. He said you guys were gonna keep it a secret until after graduation.”

“Then why’d you interrogate me when we had dinner three weeks ago?” Dean asked.

“Because I was so tired of you two dancing around each other when we were around. And the constant eye-fucking was _really_ uncomfortable. Watching it wasn’t worth fifty bucks. Which reminds me, pay up.” There was some grumbling, but Charlie, Gabriel, and Gilda all handed Sam his money.

“Wait, so you guys aren’t mad?” Cas asked. Gabriel frowned.

“Why would we be mad?”

“Well, Dean is a mutual friend and I’m…me. I thought…” Cas never finished his sentence. Charlie smiled.

“Cas, you’re a hot mess, but I don’t think I’ve seen either of you happier than you’ve been since you met. As long as you have a system that works for you, we’re happy for you.” Dean could see the tension leave Cas’s shoulders. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. When Cas smiled his eyes lit up like two tiny sapphires and Dean felt his heart jump a little. He returned the smile, getting lost in the steady rhythm of Cas’s thumb brushing over his knuckles. Suddenly, Gabriel gasped.

“Oh my God. You guys weren’t late because of traffic were you?” Dean felt his cheeks flush a little, but Cas only grinned.

“Nope.”

“And I’m not hungry anymore,” Gabriel groaned.

“Oh, please. Stop pretending you’re offended. You’ve done worse stuff than I have, I guarantee it.”

“Whether that’s true or not, maybe we shouldn’t be talking about this right now,” Sam said.

“I second that,” Dean agreed. He wasn’t a prude by any means, but discussing his sex life with his friends in the middle of a crowded restaurant seemed just a tad bit uncomfortable. The conversation shifted after that, but Dean wasn’t really paying all that much attention. Now that their relationship was out in the open, he found himself staring at Cas more often than he already had been. He couldn’t help it. They had agreed that it wasn’t a serious thing, but he could feel himself edging closer and closer to falling in love.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right I'm updating super early because it's 4:30am, I can't sleep, and I have to be at work in about 8 hours

“Teach me how to take pictures.” Cas lifted his sunglasses to look at Dean. They were about an hour outside of Capitola, on their way to New Brighton State Beach. Cas had been nagging for weeks that he wanted to take a long weekend and Dean had finally gotten the time off. Dean was driving and Cas was sitting in the passenger’s seat, sketching.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re an amazing photographer. Hell, you’re an amazing artist. Teach me how to take pictures the way you do.” Cas tapped his pencil against his sketch pad.

“Why?”

“Because…I don’t know, do I have to have a reason? I like how passionate you are about your work and I wanna learn more about it, if you’ll teach me.” Cas smiled.

“Sure. The beach is actually a good place to start. How much longer?”

“A little under an hour.” Dean glanced at the pad in Cas’s lap. “What are you working on?”

“You.” Cas watched Dean blush slightly.

“Can I see it when you’re done?”

“Sure.” Cas tilted his head. “How come you’ve never asked to see my art before?” Dean gave a one-shoulder shrug.

“I kinda thought that if you wanted me to see it, you’d show it to me. You never did, so I just didn’t question it.”

“Dean, I never showed you my stuff because I figured you weren’t interested. We said this wasn’t a serious thing, so I didn’t wanna bother you.” Cas looked back down at the sketch he was working on. He had no idea where he and Dean were at this point. Dean was essentially living in his apartment, and they were taking a long weekend together, but they were still calling it casual.

Cas was okay with that. He liked the deep, meaningful parts of relationships, but he hated feeling pressured. Dean didn’t pressure him. It was perfect, but he wasn’t sure how Dean felt. They never talked about it. There was a lot they didn’t talk about. There were still important things Dean didn’t know about him, and those were the things that had Cas convinced that their relationship wasn’t that serious.

Dean pulled into the parking lot of a mid-range motel and cut the engine. Cas stared out the window at the building.

“Wow. Classy.”

“You don’t like it, you pay for something more expensive,” Dean said, getting out of the car. Cas met him by the trunk and kissed him.

“It’s fine. I don’t care where we stay. I’m here, and I’m with you. That’s what matters. Now, come on. I’ve got a lot to teach you in three days.” They checked in, dropped their bags in the room, then went to the lake. It wasn’t technically summer yet, and it wasn’t a holiday weekend, so there weren’t too many people.

“What’s my first lesson?” Dean asked as Cas fished his camera out of his messenger bag.

“Well, first you’re gonna take some pictures so I can see what I’m working with.” They sat at a small picnic table under some trees and Cas set up his laptop. “All right. Take a couple pictures of the lake from here.” He passed his camera over to Dean before turning his attention to his sketch pad. He turned to a clean page and started outlining their surroundings. He heard the camera click a few times, but he didn’t look up until Dean said,

“Okay, now what?” Cas took his camera back, popped out the card, and put it in his computer. He looked through the four pictures Dean had taken. They weren’t bad, they were just…two-dimensional. There was no life in them. “I don’t like that look.” Cas smiled reassuringly.

“They’re not bad, Dean. They’re actually quite good. They’re just a little flat.”

“Flat?” He put the card back in his camera and took a few shots from a couple different angles. He pulled their pictures up side by side then moved to the other side of the table so he was sitting next to Dean.

“Here. These are yours, and these are mine. Do you see the difference?” Dean nodded.

“Yours look like I could walk into them.”

“Exactly.”

“How do you do that?”

“Sometimes it’s the camera settings, sometimes it’s the lighting, but most of the time it’s just the angle. Now, I can look at something and find the right angle almost immediately, but I’ve spent most of my life doing this. I took classes on this. You haven’t done this a lot, so it might take you a little longer to find the right angle. That’s fine. It doesn’t matter how long it takes you to find the angle, once you do, every picture will look like this.”

“How do I know when I’ve found the right angle?”

“When you’re looking through the lens, it shouldn’t feel like you’re looking through a lens.” Cas turned his camera over in his hand. “Don’t think of it as a camera. Think of it as an extension of your eye. If it doesn’t look like you’re standing right in front of it, it’s not right.” Dean nodded.

“Okay. Can I try again?” Cas handed his camera over.

“You’re really interested in this, aren’t you?” A lot of his partners had expressed an interest in his work, but it was always just to get him to like them. Dean seemed genuinely curious.

“Yeah. I spent the better part of three months rambling about my work. I wanna see what you do. I wanna know your process. Your art is a huge part of who you are, so I wanna know more about it.” Cas grinned.

“All right then. This is gonna be fun.” They spent the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon at the picnic table. By the time they got back to the room, Cas had finished the sketch he had been working on and Dean’s pictures had improved by about fifteen percent. He was a quick learner and he actually seemed to be enjoying himself.

“I had fun today,” Dean said once they were laying in bed.

“I did, too. And I appreciate you taking an interest in my work. No one else has ever really done that before.”

“I like listening to people talk about things they’re passionate about. Art is your life, and if I can find a way to share that with you, then I’m going to.” Cas smiled.

“Thank you, Dean.” He picked his sketchbook up off the night table. He flipped to the drawing he had finished while Dean was taking pictures. “Here. This is what I was working on today.” Dean took the pad and looked at it for a long moment.

“You’re too nice. I know I’m good-looking, but I’m not that good-looking.” Cas chuckled.

“On the contrary. This picture doesn’t do you justice.” Dean blushed and Cas chuckled again. “You’re very self-conscious, aren’t you?”

“No.” Cas raised an eyebrow. “I’m not! I just don’t think that drawing accurately represents me. It’s really good, though. You’re an amazing artist.” Cas shook his head.

“You’re impossible, Winchester.”

“Right back atcha, Novak.” Cas’s phone pinged.

**Gabe [10:37pm]:** How’s it going? ;)

“Gabe wants to know how it’s going. And he sent a winky face.”

“Sounds like your brother. Tell him everything’s fine and if he bothers us again he’ll be getting some pictures that’ll scar him for life.” Cas laughed as he sent the text.

**Cas [10:47pm]:** All good here but if you interrupt us again I’m gonna send you some pictures that’ll scar you for life :)

Cas waited fifteen minutes before he decided that Gabriel wasn’t going to text him back. He set his phone on the night table and pulled Dean into a soft kiss.

“You’re beautiful,” he said without thinking. He couldn’t help himself. Dean’s face was dotted with freckles, his cheeks were still a light shade of pink from his earlier embarrassment, and his emerald green eyes were bright with something that looked a lot like love. Not that Cas was going to say anything about that. The last time he had said those words, they’d gotten into a fight. He was going to wait for Dean to say them this time. If he ever said them.

“You need to stop with that.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m really not all that special. You don’t need to try to convince me I am.” Before Cas could say anything, Dean gave him another kiss. “‘Night, Cas.” He clicked off the light, and rolled onto his side. Cas stared up at the ceiling. This always happened. Every single time Dean got anywhere near the realm of vulnerable, he changed the subject, or shut down completely. It was frustrating. Cas was only trying to help. He sighed and closed his eyes, turning over to hold onto Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please keep in mind that I literally know nothing about cameras or taking pictures and Google was zero help. If anyone who actually knows something about photography would like to correct me, please do.


	24. Chapter 24

Dean flipped the page of Cas’s sketch pad. Each drawing was just as amazing as the last. Cas had incredible talent. Dean was almost jealous. If he were even half as good at his job as Cas was at his art, he would consider himself lucky. He got to the end of the book and picked another one up off the coffee table. He didn’t have to ask permission anymore. Cas left his art everywhere and told Dean he was more than welcome to look at whatever he wanted.

Dean was getting better at taking pictures, which was all he really wanted. He loved the way Cas’s photos made him feel like he was actually in them, and he wanted to learn how to do that. Cas was a patient teacher, and very supportive. Dean was staring at a sketch of himself when his phone rang.

“Hey, Bobby.”

“Hey, sorry to bother you. I know you haven’t had a day off in a couple weeks, but can you come in? Martin didn’t show up.”

“Are you even surprised?”

“Not really. It ain’t too busy, but I wouldn’t mind an extra set of hands.”

“Yeah, I don’t mind. I need the money. I’ll be there in fifteen.”

“Thanks, Dean. I really owe you.”

“No, you don’t.” Dean put his phone in his pocket, scribbled a note for Cas letting him know he was a work, and took off. He actually got to the garage in ten minutes. He parked Baby and walked inside. Bobby was sitting in his office, filing paper work. He looked up when Dean walked in.

“Hey, you’re here. Have a seat.” Dean stiffened a little. Bobby never asked him to sit unless something was wrong. Bobby must have noticed a change in his demeanor because he smiled. “Don’t worry, it’s nothin’ bad.” Dean nodded and sat in the chair in front of the desk. Bobby finished filling out a form, then he folded his hands on the desk. “How would you feel about me making you head mechanic?”

“I…what? Aren’t you the head mechanic?”

“Technically, yes, but I’m also the owner. So I’d just be passing the title to you.”

“Why me?”

“You’re the most qualified for the position. You’re the best mechanic I’ve ever worked with. You’re always on time, you never cut out early, and you do impeccable work. You deserve this.”

“I…thank you, Bobby. If you really feel that I can handle this then I’ll absolutely take it.” Bobby grinned.

“Great! I just need you to fill out some paperwork so we can make it official, and then I can put in your raise.”

“Raise?”

“Promotions come with raises, Dean. And you’ve more than earned this. Anyone would be lucky to have you work for them.” Dean was left speechless. He had woken up that morning feeling a little pissed at himself for not trying harder. Bobby was giving him the confidence boost he needed. He knew Bobby wouldn’t offer him the job unless he was sure he could do it. He filled out the paperwork, signed a few forms, then held out his hand to Bobby.

“I really can’t thank you enough for this.” Bobby shook his hand with a smile.

“You don’t need to thank me, Dean. You worked hard for this and I think you deserve to be paid fairly for the work you do. Also, I was gonna let you pick someone to be your…apprentice, I guess.”

“Gabriel,” Dean said without hesitation.

“That’s what I figured, but I wanted to let you decide. He’s out back on break if you wanna tell him.”

“Great. And thanks again, Bobby.” Dean walked out of the office, and found Gabriel sitting at the table out back. Gabriel grinned when he saw him.

“Hey, Lose-chester! You here covering Martin?”

“Always. You up for some good news?”

“Always.” Dean sat across from Gabriel.

“Bobby just made me head mechanic.” Gabriel broke into another grin.

“Hey, that’s awesome! But how’s that good news for me?”

“He said I could pick someone to be my apprentice.”

“And you picked me?”

“Who else? You’re the only other one who shows up on time, your work is good, and we’re friends.”

“Well, thanks, Dean.”

“Thank Bobby.”

“This is awesome. Sam’s gonna be thrilled.”

“I’m sure Charlie’ll be pretty happy, too. I can finally get my own apartment and get outta her hair. Living with me can’t be easy.”

“I thought you were living with Cas?” Dean shook his head.

“I spend a lot of time there, but I still live with Charlie and Gilda.”

“Oh. Gotta say, I’m a little relieved. I don’t think you and Cas are quite ready to live together.”

“Me either. This isn’t serious. I’ve just been staying at his place to give the girls some breathing room.”

“That’s nice, but you and Cas are way past the “not serious” stage. He’s crazy about you.”

“Really?”

“I’ve seen my brother fall in and out of love with people since I was twenty. I’ve never seen him like this. You make him happy. He hasn’t talked about anyone else since he met you, and that’s a miracle on its own. I don’t think you’re ready for something as big as moving in together, but you’re definitely past not being serious.” Dean looked at the table to avoid eye contact. He and Cas never talked about their relationship. They had settled on it not being anything serious, and that was that.

Dean would be lying if he said he didn’t have deeper feelings. He loved Cas more than he thought possible. He was comfortable with him. Even when he had fallen into complacency with Lisa, he had never felt this content. Cas was an adventure, that wasn’t a question, but something felt right when Dean was with him. He swallowed the lump in his throat. This was exactly what he hadn’t wanted to happen. Cas had said it himself that he never stuck around for very long.

“As far as I’m concerned, it’s still casual.”

“Well, maybe you should talk to him about it.” Dean knew Gabriel was only trying to help, but he didn’t need that. He didn’t need the pressure.

“Maybe you should just worry about your own relationship,” he snapped, getting up from the table. He went back inside and got to work on the only car in the garage.

Thankfully, the day was busy, which gave Dean very little time to think and gave Gabriel zero time to talk. By the time Dean got into Baby, he had made a decision. He stopped by Charlie’s and took a shower, then grabbed a couple of the boxes he still had laying around from when he got his stuff from Lisa. He knew Cas usually took Maggie for a walk around seven thirty, so he wouldn’t be at his apartment. It would be easier if he wasn’t there.

Dean was sifting through piles of Cas’ drawings (seriously, he needed some kind of filing system) when the front door opened. Maggie came running in and attacked Dean with kisses. He laughed in spite of himself and rubbed her head. Cas walked in a moment later.

“Hey, babe. What are you doing?” Dean looked up at him.

“I just realized that my stuff is starting to take over your apartment. I figured I’d get it back to Charlie’s.”

“I don’t mind it,” Cas said. He sat on the couch and Maggie jumped into his lap. “This place is just as much yours as it is mine at this point.” Dean bit his lip. That’s what he had been afraid of. Cas frowned. “What?”

“Can we talk?”

“Of course.” Cas patted the other side of the couch. Dean got off the floor and sat down facing him.

“When we started this, we said it wasn’t anything serious. We were just gonna have fun until we got bored. I’m okay with that, but it feels like we’re getting a little too…domestic. If you want me to continue being okay with this not being serious, then we need to set boundaries. I don’t know where you are on all this, and I don’t want to risk getting myself hurt.” Cas nodded slowly.

“All right. So here’s where I am. I’m in love with you. I have _never_ felt this way about anyone else. Actually, that’s a lie, but the last time I felt like this, I got my heart broken. So from then on I just decided that I could love anyone I wanted, as long as I didn’t fall _in_ love with anyone. Then I met you. We’ve been dating for four months, and leaving hasn’t ever even crossed my mind. Not once. I’m not used to that. I _always_ get bored in two months or less, but not with you. I like what we have. I like that there’s no pressure regarding the future. I don’t want that to change, because it’s the reason I love being with you so much.”

“You’re in love with me?” was all Dean managed to say. Cas smiled softly.

“Yes, Dean. I was waiting for you to say it first, because the last time I said it we got into a fight, but yes. I’m very much in love with you.”

“I’m in love with you, too,” Dean admitted, surprised his voice wasn’t shaking. “So you want this to be a serious relationship?”

“Yes, as long as the dynamic doesn’t change. I’m in love with you, Dean. I don’t know how long that’s gonna last, but I do know that, right now, I don’t wanna lose you.”

“Okay. I don’t wanna lose you either.” Cas closed the distance between them and kissed Dean gently.

“Stay. I need to purge some stuff anyway. Let me get my shit sorted and then we can move your stuff in.”

“Cas, are you asking me to move in with you?”

“Yes. I want you to move in with me. I want you to be my boyfriend. I want this to be real.” Dean let the words sink in. If he had thought Sam and Gabriel’s relationship was moving fast, then this was light speed. And the weird thing was that it didn’t feel weird. It felt like the right thing to do. He nodded.

“I will. I’ll move in with you.”

“Seriously? I don’t want you to feel like you have to.” Dean shook his head.

“I wanna move in with you. I’m crazy about you.” Cas kissed him, and Dean felt his heart flutter. This was new, exciting, and terrifying in the best way. “I’ll call Charlie, and let her know I’ll be moving out in a week or so.”

“It’s cute that you think I can get my shit sorted in a week.”

“I’ll help you. You really don’t have that much stuff. You’re just messy.”

“Gee, thanks.” Dean laughed.

“I’m not telling you something you don’t already know. Maybe messy wasn’t the right word. You’re more disorganized. It’s not a problem, honestly. We’ll do it together.”

“Together,” Cas repeated before kissing him again.


	25. Chapter 25

Cas woke up in the middle of the night with the startling realization that he was alone. He bolted up. He could see a light coming from down the hall, and breathed a sigh of relief. He got out of bed, and padded into the living room. Dean was sitting on the couch, watching TV. Cas curled up next to him.

“You okay?” Dean nodded.

“I’m fine, Cas. Just can’t sleep.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“What?”

“Whatever it is that’s keeping you awake. Or do you just want me to hold you?” Dean smiled.

“Thanks, Cas, but I’m really fine. I’ve just been thinking about Lisa.”

“Why?”

“She just crosses my mind from time to time. I miss her.”

“I know you do, babe.”

“I’m sorry, you don’t wanna hear about this.”

“Yes, I do.”

“I just…I loved her, Cas. I loved her every single second I was with her. I just can’t figure out where I went wrong.”

“I’m sure you did nothing wrong,” Cas said gently. “Some people just don’t work. You can be the perfect boyfriend, but if the other person doesn’t feel it, then it doesn’t matter. Nothing you do will ever be good enough for them, and they don’t deserve you.” Cas moved onto Dean’s lap, and kissed him. “I know you’re upset, but I’m glad she broke up with you, because now I can show you just how amazing you are.”

“Cas—.”

“Shh. Let me show you just how much I love you.” Dean shook his head and sat up a little.

“I know how much you love me. I never doubt that. Sometimes I just…after three years of constantly not being good enough…it’s hard not to think that it might be true.” Cas wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck, locking his fingers in the hair at the base of his head.

“I hate hearing you talk like that. You’re sweet, and wonderful, and…I have _never_ met another person as selfless and caring as you are. You deserve the world, Dean. I can’t give you that, but I can promise to love you with everything I have for as long as this lasts.” Dean moved his arms up Cas’s back, hugging him tightly.

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Yes, you do.” Cas covered Dean’s face and neck with little kisses. Dean moved them so they were lying next to each other on the couch. He captured Cas’s lips with his own. They stayed like that for a while, holding each other, sharing lazy kisses. Cas didn’t mind. He knew Dean had to be up for work in the morning, but he wasn’t sleeping, and Cas liked being with Dean like this. As sweet as he was, Dean was very rarely vulnerable. It was nice to see him open up. It made Cas feel like he trusted him.

“We should get to bed,” Dean said after about an hour. “I’ve got work in the morning, and I can’t be late.” Dean got up and held out his hand. Cas smiled and let himself be pulled to his feet. They climbed into bed, and Cas snuggled into Dean’s arms. He felt Dean’s lips on the back of his neck. He rolled over and smiled.

“I love you, Dean.”

“I love you, too, Cas.”

* * *

The next morning, Cas once again woke up to an empty bed. He rolled over and looked at the clock. It was a little past noon. He yawned and snuggled into the blankets. He heard something crinkle on Dean’s side of the bed. He picked up a folded piece of paper.

_Had to go to work and didn’t wanna wake you up. You’re cute when you sleep. Thanks for last night. Sorry for bothering you. I know you don’t wanna hear about my ex. I’ll be home around 3. Love you. — Dean_

Cas smiled. Dean would be home in three hours. He got out of bed and padded into the kitchen. He ate a handful of dry cereal, then went and got dressed. He grabbed his camera, made sure he had his earbuds, and called for Maggie. Walking her never took more than an hour, but it gave him a chance to get out of the house. He sat on a bench and kept an eye on Maggie while she ran around. He took out his phone and called Charlie.

“Hey, Cas. What’s up?”

“What are you and Gilda doing later?”

“Nothing as far as I know. Why?”

“Just wondering if you wanted to go out with me and Dean. I think he could use some time with friends right now.”

“Okay. How about we all meet at the bar on Bisbane around 7? It’s Trivia Night. That always cheers him up. I can call the rest of our friends.”

“Sounds great. I’ll call Sam.”

“All right. See ya later.” Cas ended the call and called Sam. He got voicemail which meant Sam was probably studying. “Hey, Sam it’s Cas. Just wanted to see if you and Gabe wanted to go out tonight. Dean could use some time with friends. Call me back. Thanks.” Cas put his phone back in his pocket. He was scanning the park for Maggie when he was attacked by a mass of yellow fur.

“I’m so sorry,” a smooth, British voice said. Castile laughed and scratched the dog behind the ears.

“It’s fine. I like dogs.” The dog licked his face and barked. “What’s its name?”

“His name is...” the British guy trailed off and squinted. “Cassie, is that you?” Cas narrowed his eyes.

“How do you know that nickname?” As far as he knew, only a select few of his family members knew it. The British guy grinned.

“Cas, I’m insulted. How could you forget your favorite cousin?”

“Balthazar?”

“It’s good to see you, Cassie. How’ve you been?”

“Please don’t call me that. I’m twenty-two, I’m not a kid anymore.”

“No, but you’ll always be younger than me. What are you doing in Cali?”

“Art program at Stanford. I just graduated.”

“That’s fantastic! You always did love art. And it’s good that you finally got away from those people. Do you still talk to Gabriel?”

“He moved out here with me. He actually moved in with his boyfriend a few months ago.”

“And how long do you think that’ll last?”

“Hopefully a while. They’re cute together.”

“And?”

“I may be dating his boyfriend’s brother.”

“Jesus, Cas.”

“Hey, I had my eye on Dean before Gabriel even met Sam.”

“Okay, but you know Gabriel is more likely to make a commitment than you are. And either way both of you are screwed.”

“What are you doing here, Balthazar?” Cas asked. “And why the dog?”

“I moved here a few months ago with my now-ex girlfriend. Dog belongs to a friend. I’m just watching him for a few days.”

“Why? You hate animals.”

“I do. But my friend is very attractive.” Cas rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t fight his smile. Balthazar was even worse than him when it came to relationships. He had missed his cousin quite a bit more than he realized. Aside from Gabriel, Balthazar was the only family member he had ever gotten along with. He was eccentric, and slightly insane, but that only made him interesting. Cas lifted his camera and snapped a picture. Balthazar laughed.

“I see old habits die hard. Nice to know I’m still interesting enough to photograph.”

“You’ll always be interesting enough.”

“Have anything recent I can take a look at? I wanna see how far you’ve come in the last seven years.”

“Back at my apartment. Dean’s still at work so you can hang out if you want.”

“I think I’d like that. We can catch up properly.” Cas whistled for Maggie. She came bounding over. She stopped and sniffed Balthazar before growling softly.

“Maggie, be nice. He’s a friend.” Cas smiled apologetically at his cousin. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine, Cassie. Most dogs tend not to like me.”

“She’ll come around if she sees you often enough. Come on.” They got into Balthazar’s car and Cas gave him directions to his apartment. He unlocked the door and let Maggie and the other dog in first. He dropped everything on the table and gestured vaguely at the coffee table. “Look through whatever you want.” Balthazar made himself comfortable on the couch while Cas got them both something to drink. Balthazar was staring at a drawing of Dean when Cas sat down next to him.

“Who’s this?”

“That’s Dean.”

“He’s beautiful.” Cas grinned.

“I know.”

“So what’s he doing with you?” Balthazar teased.

“Getting over his ex,” Cas said.

“Ah. So this isn’t a serious thing.”

“We live together. That’s about as serious as I get.”

“Do you love him or are you _in_ love with him?”

“I’m _in_ love with him,” Cas admitted.

“And yet you’re still saying it’s not serious.”

“It’s easier that way, Balthazar. Trust me.”

“Well, when you guys break up, I’m calling first dibs on being his rebound.”

“Whatever.” In truth, Cas didn’t see them breaking up any time soon. He had never loved anyone more than he loved Dean. “What do you think?”

“You’re extremely talented, Cassie.” Balthazar flipped to another page. “Ooh, who’s the redhead?”

“That’s my friend Charlie. That’s her birthday present.”

“I’m sure she’ll love it.” Cas and Balthazar spent the next couple hours catching up. Cas didn’t even realize what time it was until Dean came home.


	26. Chapter 26

Dean was expecting to find Cas either curled up on the couch drawing, or still fast asleep. He wasn’t, however, expecting to find him sitting on the couch talking to an admittedly very attractive British man. He dropped his keys on the table, toed off his boots, and walked into the living room.

“Hey, babe.”

“Dean!” Cas got off the couch and gave him a kiss. “This is my cousin Balthazar. Balthazar, this is my boyfriend Dean.” Dean held out his hand.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

“Cas didn’t say he was having company.”

“Spur of the moment,” Balthazar said. “We ran into each other at the park. We haven’t seen each other in seven years and I thought it would be nice to catch up. I didn’t mean to intrude.”

“You’re not intruding,” Cas said, shooting Dean a very point look. Dean pulled out his customer service, I’m-smiling-because-I-have-to smile for the fifteenth time that day.

“I was just leaving anyway,” Balthazar said.

“Are you sure?”

“It’s quite all right, Cassie. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to go out with us later. We’re meeting some friends at the bar on Bisbane. I think you’ll like them, and Gabe’ll probably be there.”

“Maybe I’ll stop by.” Balthazar smiled before walking out the front door, a gold retriever in toe. Cas folded his arms and glared.

“That was rude, Dean.”

“Well, how am I supposed to react when I’m gone all day, and come home to find you with some random dude I’ve never met?” Cas rolled his eyes.

“He’s my _cousin_!”

“Well, I didn’t know that. You’ve never mentioned him before.”

“Like he said, we haven’t seen each other in seven years. We were really close until he ran off to be some rich, married man’s boytoy. I didn’t even know he was in California.” Cas’ eyes turned sad. “Dean, do you not trust me?” Dean sighed. He had this conversation with everyone he dated for more than a month. He didn’t _want_ to be jealous, but he couldn’t help it. And with Cas…he was bracing himself for the day Cas walked out on him because he no longer found him interesting. Cas didn’t stick around, he said so himself, so of course Dean was going to be jealous if he saw him with someone else.

“I trust you, Cas. I just…” Cas took Dean’s hand and pulled him over to the couch.

“Talk to me.”

“I don’t want you to leave,” Dean blurted out.

“Oh, Dean.” Cas hugged him tightly, placing a gentle kiss to his forehead. “I know I told you I don’t stick around very long. Normally I don’t, but with you…I dunno, it’s different. I don’t wanna leave. You’re the first person I’ve fallen in love with since—.” Cas stopped abruptly. Whatever he had been about to say must have been bad.

“Since?” Dean prompted. Cas swallowed.

“Since Meg. I met her my freshman year of high school. I loved her from the moment I saw her. We were fifteen, and four months into our relationship, I wanted to marry her. One day, about a month before the start of sophomore year, she broke up with me with no explanation. All she said was, “We just don’t work.” I understand what she meant now, but back then, I was a mess. I tried for months to get her back. I was in a really bad place for a while. I turned to my art as an outlet. I’ve always been interested in art, but Meg’s the reason I dedicated my life to it.” Cas was blinking back tears and Dean immediately felt bad for pushing. He wrapped Cas in a warm hug.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t’ve pushed.” Cas shook his head and took a shaky breath.

“It’s okay. I’ve been meaning to tell you. It just never felt like the right time.” Cas smiled a little. “Meg was the only person I was ever in love with until I met you. And now, if it’s possible, I think I love you even more.” Dean let Cas’ words wash over him. It felt like too much. Cas liked interesting people. He wasn’t interesting. Far from it, in fact. He swallowed hard.

“Just so you know, I’ve never felt this way about _anyone_.”

“Not even Lisa?”

“Not even Lisa. I loved her, but she was…nit-picky. I don’t think she ever really loved me. She loved an idea of me. She was trying to mold me into something I’m not, and I was so desperately in love with her that I was willing to do just about anything, as long as she would stay. She knew that, and she used it to her advantage.” Dean held back his tears. He refused to cry over her anymore. He was happy and he was in love. He didn’t need to spend anymore timethinking about his ex.

“I’m sorry, Dean, I shouldn’t’ve brought her up.”

“It’s fine, Cas.” Dean cleared his throat. “So what were you saying to Balthazar about us going out later?”

“Oh. I called Charlie and she suggested we all go to the bar for Trivia Night. I thought you could use a fun night with your friends.” Dean smiled.

“Yeah, I’d like that. Who’s going?”

“I should probably call Charlie and figure that out.” Cas took out his phone, called Charlie, and put it on speaker. “Hey, you’re on speaker,” he said when Charlie answered.

“Dean with you?”

“Yup!” Dean answered.

“What’s up, bitches?”

“Who’d you get ahold of about tonight?”

“The only one who can’t make it is Jo. She’s helping Ellen at the Roadhouse tonight.”

“Why don’t we all just hang out there, then?” Dean suggested. “We can still have Trivia Night. I’ll have Sammy bring Trivial Pursuit.”

“All right, losing team buys everyone a drink of their choice.”

“Sounds fair. When’s Jo’s shift start?”

“Six.”

“Okay, so meet there around seven. Give her an hour to get settled in.”

“Great. See you guys then.” Charlie hung up and Cas called Sam.

“Hey, Sam, you’re on speaker.”

“Hey, guys, what’s up?”

“Did you get my message earlier?”

“No, I haven’t checked my phone, sorry.”

“Just as well. Everyone’s meeting at the Roadhouse at seven. Dean volunteered you to bring Trivial Pursuit.”

“And what if I had plans tonight, Dean?”

“You’d break ‘em because I know you’d never pass up the chance to kick ass at Trivial Pursuit.”

“True enough. Me and Gabe’ll be there.”

“Great.”

“Oh, tell Gabe Balthazar’ll be there.”

“Okay?” Cas chuckled at Sam’s confusion.

“He’s our cousin. It’s been a while, he’ll be thrilled to see him.”

“Oh, all right. Later, guys.”

“Bye, Sam.”

“Will Gabe actually be happy to see Balthazar?” Dean asked. Cas shrugged.

“Fifty-fifty shot. They were close, but Gabe was really mad when he left. He always said that Balthazar abandoned us.”

“You don’t think he did?”

“I think he went out and lived his own life. He was allowed to do that. I wouldn’t’ve been mad at Gabriel either if he had left. But he didn’t. He stayed until he knew he could get me out, too. It was an entirely selfless act that I can never repay him for. He put himself at risk to save me.”

“He’s a good brother.”

“The best. I love him more than I’ll ever love anyone. Add that to the long list of reason my parents hate me. I respect Gabriel more than I ever respected them.”

“Makes sense. I respect Bobby more than I ever respected my dad. You respect the people who earn it.” Cas smiled.

“Exactly. And you, Dean Winchester, have definitely earned my respect.”

“Thanks. I have no idea _why_ , but thanks.”

“Because in the five months I’ve known you, you’ve been nothing other than kind, caring, and loyal. That earns you my respect.” Dean blushed. He hated it that Cas could do that to him so easily.

“Thanks, Cas. For the record, you have my respect, too. You’re probably the most amazing person I’ve ever met.”

“I’m not so amazing. I just like interesting people.”

“Well, that’s not entirely true. I’m not interesting.” Cas rolled his eyes.

“I’m so not having this argument with you again.” He leaned in and gave Dean a slow kiss. “Come on. We’ve got two and a half hours to kill.”


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry I didn't update yesterday. We got some things figured out at work and I'm finally getting 2 days off so I'm moving update days to Wednesday.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

Cas ducked behind Dean to avoid Gabriel’s hand.

“You’re an asshole,” Gabriel snapped.

“Come on, Gabe. I know you miss him as much as I do.”

“Balthazar made his choice when he ran off with whatever the fuck his name was. He ditched us and I don’t wanna see him.” Cas rolled his eyes.

“You are _so_ dramatic. Just talk to him. I know he’ll be happy to see you.”

“Whatever, Cas.” Gabriel stormed off towards the bar.

“I’ll go calm him down,” Sam said, following his boyfriend. Charlie shook her head.

“Between the four of you, I don’t know how one of you isn’t dead.”

“Sam keeps Gabe in check,” Dean said.

“Yeah, so who keeps you two in check?” Charlie teased.

“You do,” Cas teased back.

“Lucky me,” Charlie muttered.

“Come on, are we playing or what?” Bela grabbed the Trivial Pursuit board Sam had left on the table. “Get ready to kiss my ass, Winchester.”

“Bela, you’re a genius when it comes to…everything else, but when it comes to trivia you’re completely useless,” Benny said. Bela flipped him off.

“Is your cousin definitely coming?” Jessica asked Cas.

“Yeah, I just talked to him about five minutes ago. He should be here soon.”

“Good, then the teams’ll be even. Just tell me he’s smart. I’d hate to trade Jo for someone dumb.”

“I really can’t answer that,” Cas said. “I haven’t seen him in seven years.” Jessica groaned.

“Oh, don’t be like that,” Garth said. “The point is we’re all having fun.”

“And the losing team buys everyone a drink of their choice,” Dean said.

“Now you’re talking.” Bela tipped back the rest of her whiskey just as Sam walked back over. Gabriel was noticeably absent.

“He’s really that mad?” Cas asked.

“He said he didn’t wanna talk to me, and I didn’t push it,” Sam said, taking his seat beside Dean. Cas sighed.

“All right, I got it.” He touched Dean’s arm before making his way over to his brother. Gabriel was sitting at the bar making small talk with Jo while she cleaned a glass. Cas took the stool beside Gabriel’s.

“What can I get you, Cas?” Jo asked.

“Jack, rocks. Thanks.” He smiled at her before addressing his brother. “Are you really gonna be like this?”

“I don’t wanna see him, Cas.” Gabriel turned to look at him. “I’m still pissed at him. He knew how it was. He left us anyway.”

“He had his own life, Gabe.”

“I had my own life, too, but I didn’t leave you behind. I stayed for five years just to make sure I could take you with me. Should I not have done that? Should I have just let you suffer by yourself?”

“No. Gabriel, I can never thank you enough for everything you sacrificed for me. All I’m saying is, Balthazar didn’t live with them. He knew it was bad, but he didn’t know how bad. He couldn’t. He just went out to live his life. That’s all. He wasn’t abandoning us.” Gabriel finished off whatever was in his glass.

“You know I love you, right, Cas? I never even considered leaving without you. I also never saw taking you with me as a burden.” Cas smiled.

“I know. I’ve never doubted your love for me. You’re my brother. I love you, too.” They probably should’ve hugged, but the Novak family had never really been big on hugging, so they settled for supportive, brotherly shoulder claps. “Come on, we’ve got a game to win.” Cas drained his glass of whiskey before he and Gabriel walked back over to their friends. He was surprised to see that Balthazar had shown up while they were gone. Gabriel stiffened a little and Cas put a hand on his shoulder. Balthazar grinned.

“Gabriel! Wow. You really haven’t grown up at all, have you?”

“You haven’t talked to me in seven years and _that’s_ the first thing you say?” Balthazar laughed.

“Sorry, but you really haven’t gotten any taller since the last time I saw you.”

“Okay, so we’ve established I’m short.”

“As great it is to watch you two reconnect,” Bela interrupted, “can we get this game started?”

“Sorry,” Dean apologized. “She gets antsy when she’s about to lose a game.”

“I won’t hesitate to bitch slap you, Winchester.”

“Hit me with your best shot, Talbot.” Bela stood up and Charlie grabbed her arm.

“Come on, guys. Just once I’d like to have a game where no one gets violent.”

“She’s right,” Cas said. “Let’s just play. Balthazar, you’re Jessica’s partner since Jo’s working.”

“You better be smart,” Jessica grumbled. Benny took the board out of box and handed out the pieces.

“Hold up, hold up,” Dean said. “I’m always green. That’s not negotiable.” Everyone rolled their eyes, but no one argued.

“If Cas is as much of a drama queen as his boyfriend, I’m guessing he wants to be blue?” Bela said.

“Yes,” Cas answered without hesitation. “It matches my eyes.” This time everyone laughed, but still no one argued. Once the pieces were distributed, they rolled the die to see which team would go first.

“I have a question,” Gilda said after about twenty minutes. “If Dean and Cas are dating, and Sam and Gabe are dating, why are you on opposite teams?”

“Because if me and Cas were on the same team then we couldn’t destroy each other,” Dean said with a smile.

“And there’s really no point if I can’t prove I’m better than him,” Cas added with a grin.

“Excuse you, I’m pretty sure me and Sammy are winning.”

“It’s Sam,” Sam grumbled.

“Barely, and the game’s not over yet.”

“And it never will be if you two don’t shut up,” Bela snapped.

“Told you she gets snippy when she loses.” Bela stood up again, only this time she was stopped by Ellen.

“Can I get you kids anything?”

“I could really go for a double bacon cheese burger,” Cas said. Ellen broke into a smile and turned to Dean.

“Marry him.” Dean laughed.

“Not there yet, but make that a double on the burger, and I’ll take whatever you’ve got on tap.” Everyone else gave their orders, and the game continued. It was another thirty minutes before anyone spoke outside of questions and answers.

“Sam, how tall are you?” Balthazar asked. Cas shot him a warning look, knowing full well where his cousin was going with his questions.

“6’ 5. Why?”

“Gabe, how tall are you?” Gabriel rolled his eyes.

“How is any of this relevant? Can we just play the game?”

“I’m just curious.”

“He’s tall, I’m short. So what? I love him, that’s all that matters!” Gabriel was shouting. Cas knew he had to put a stop to this before it got any worse, but his voice refused to work.

“Sorry. I didn’t realize it was such a sensitive issue.”

“It’s not sensitive! I haven’t seen you in seven years and the first thing you do is make fun of me. Not even an apology first.”

“An apology for what?”

“Abandoning us!” The yelling started to get louder and Cas froze completely. Suddenly he was ten years old again, sitting at the top of the stair listening to his oldest brothers fight about _anything_ simply for the sake of fighting. Cas pushed his chair back abruptly and ran outside to get some fresh air.


	28. Chapter 28

As soon as Cas bolted Gabriel and Balthazar stopped arguing.

“Damn it,” Gabriel muttered. “I’ll get him.”

“I think you’ve done enough,” Dean said, getting up from his chair. “I’ll talk to him. Maybe you two should think about how you’re behaving.” Dean got a glass of water from Ellen before going outside. Cas was sitting on the sidewalk with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. Dean sat beside him and put his arm around him.

“Leave me—oh.” Dean smiled softly.

“Here.” He handed Cas the glass of water.

“Thanks. Sorry about that. I just can’t stand yelling.” Cas gulped some of the water. “When I was a kid, my siblings were always fighting about everything. Michael and Raphael were always at each other’s throats. Anna always took Michael’s side, and Raphael always tried to get me and Gabriel to take his side. Neither one of us wanted anything to do with it, so we spent a lot of time hiding in the basement.”

“Your parents never did anything about it?”

“Dad wasn’t really around all that much and Mom wasn’t around at all. She didn’t wanna have anymore kids after Gabriel, then when she found out she was pregnant, she was hoping for a girl. You can imagine her disappointment when I was born.” Dean’s heart lurched. He pulled Cas closer to him, placing a gentle kiss to his temple.

“I’m so sorry.” Cas shook his head.

“I’m over it. I’m away from them now,” he lifted his head and smiled, “and I have you.” Dean had to smile at that. He leaned in and pressed their lips together. “Come on, let’s go back in.”

“Are you sure? We can leave, if you want. They can finish the game without us.”

“I’m all right now. Are they done yelling?”

“Yeah, and they won’t start up again if they know what’s good ‘em.” Dean stood and held out his hand. Cas took it and they walked back inside together. Gabriel was the first to speak when they got back to the table.

“Cas, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Gabe.”

“Are you sure?” Cas smiled at his brother.

“Yes. Now, whose turn is it?”

“Uh…Sam and Dean’s.” The game continued without another incident. Dean wolfed down his burger, then stole French fries off of Cas’s plate.

“We are on opposite sides, Dean, get your hands off my fries.” Dean grinned.

“You love me.”

“I do, but right now, I’m winning and those are mine.”

“Come on, Cas.”

“Get your own.” Cas moved his plate across the table so it was next to Gabriel. Dean crossed his arms and pouted. Sam rolled his eyes.

“You two are ridiculous. It’s our turn, Dean.” Dean picked up the die and rolled it.

“Pink. Thank god, I’m good at this.” Charlie picked up the card and grinned.

“Oh, you’ll never get this. Which iconic costume did Raquel Welch wear for her role as a cavewoman in the 1966 film _One Million Years B. C._?” Dean groaned. His only familiarity with Raquel Welch was from that one episode of _Seinfeld_. He looked to his brother.

“No idea.” Dean sat there for a minute. Iconic. Woman. 1966. Bikini. Cavewoman. Fur. He took a shot.

“A fur bikini?”

“How!?” Bela snapped.

“The man has a one-track mind,” Charlie said. “Scantily clad women.”

“Um, that’s you,” Dean argued.

“Fine. Scantily clad people.”

“Can we move on?” Bela grumbled. Dean gave her a cocky grin.

“What’s the matter, Talbot? You don’t wanna hear about my sexcapades? Or are you just mad you’re losing?”

“Dean, I don’t think _anyone_ wants to hear about your sexcapades,” Sam said. “Cas, Gabe, your turn.”

“You’re no fun.” Dean chucked the die across the table.

“Hey, watch it!” Gabriel caught the die before it hit him in the head.

“Sorry, I was aiming for Cas.” Cas retaliated by throwing a game piece, which Dean caught easily.

“All right you two, knock it off,” Benny said.

“He started it!” Cas protested.

“Oh my God, what are you, five?” Jessica stared Dean and Cas down. They went quiet, but a silent agreement was made that it wasn’t over, and they would continue when they got home. The game resumed for another seven turns before Cas said,

“I’ve been thinking about starting a vlog.” Charlie’s entire face lit up.

“That’s a great idea, Cas!”

“Yeah?”

“Definitely! Oh, you and Dean could do it together! It’d be so cute!”

“I really hope you’re talking about another Dean,” Dean muttered.

“Oh, come on it’ll be fun,” Cas insisted.

“No. You wanna do it, go for it. I fully support you. But keep me out of it.”

“ _No_!” Cas starting bouncing up and down in his chair. “It’s not as fun without you! Please?” He gave Dean his puppy eyes, which were right on par with Sam’s, and Dean sighed. Like he was really going to say no. He knew it was important when Cas started jumping.

“All right, all right.”

“Really!?”

“Yes.” Cas threw his arms around Dean’s neck and kissed him.

“You’re the best! I love you!” Dean smiled. He wasn’t completely on board with the idea of a vlog, but the smile on Cas’s face was more than worth it.

“I love you, too.”

“Are we ever gonna finish this game?” Bela interrupted.

“Yeah, yeah.” The game finished three turns later when Dean got the last question right purely by guessing.

“You never cease to amaze me,” Sam said. Dean grinned.

“I’m smarter than I look, Sammy. Now, I believe Garth and Benny owe all of us drinks.”

“We’re switching up the teams next time,” Benny grumbled.

“Fine by me,” Dean said. “I’m better than all of you.”

“That so? All right, next time you take Garth, and I’ll take Sam.”

“Fine.” Dean was never one to back down from a challenge, but he knew he was screwed. He needed Sam. Dean was pop culture smart, and he could guess as good as the next guy, but Sam had book smarts. They were the perfect team.

“You just set yourself up to get your ass kicked,” Cas said as everyone headed for the bar.

“Shut up,” Dean muttered.

“It’s not too late to take it back.”

“Dean Winchester doesn’t chicken out.”

“Dean Winchester is too stubborn to admit he needs his little brother,” Cas smirked. Then his expression melted into a soft smile. “You’ll really do a vlog with me?”

“I guess. As long as you promise it won’t be all the time. I don’t need everyone knowing every detail of my life.”

“Deal.” They sat at the bar. Dean ordered his customary beer. Cas went with something that sounded very tropical.

“You a girl drink drunk, Cas?”

“I like my drinks to actually have some flavor. So shut your mouth and drink your fermented wheat.” Dean laughed.

“Someone’s snippy. You mad that me and Sammy beat you?”

“Only because you got a lucky guess.”

“Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart.” Dean kissed Cas on the nose. Cas scrunched his face in response and Dean chuckled. “You’re cute.”

“Cas?” Dean and Cas both turned to look at Balthazar. “I wanted to apologize about before. I should’ve known Gabriel wouldn’t be happy to see me.” Cas shook his head.

“It’s fine, Balthazar, really.”

“No, it isn’t. I know what you dealt with growing up. Gabriel was right, and I’m sorry I left. I didn’t realize…I thought you two would look out for each other.”

“We did. I was never mad at you. You were entitled to live your own life, and I’m glad you’re back. Gabe’ll come around. He’s still bitter. I think he blames me a little, even if he doesn’t wanna admit it.” Balthazar smiled and gave Cas a hug.

“I glad you two got out, and it was good to see you again.”

“You, too. We should have lunch.”

“I’ll call you. Bye, Cassie. Bye, Dean.” Dean half waved. He still wasn’t sure whether or not he liked the British guy. He would be polite, though, because he was important to Cas. Dean took a sip from his beer.

“What do you think about ditching these guys?” Cas rolled his eyes.

“Twenty more minutes. Let me at least finish the drink Benny and Garth were nice enough to buy me.” Dean nodded.

“Yeah, all right.” As much as he was enjoying spending time with his friends and his brother, he wanted to go home, curl up with Cas on the couch, and watch TV until they both fell asleep. Maybe it was sappy, but no one other than Cas had to know about it. He smiled to himself and waited for Cas to finish his drink.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Updating a little early because I can't sleep and I need something to do.
> 
> Also, I'd like to apologize in advance for next week's chapter.

“Hey, guys! Today marks six months since Dean became the best thing that ever happened to me! Say hi, Dean!” Cas turned his camera on his boyfriend. Dean rolled his eyes playfully.

“Why do you insist?”

“Because you’re cute, and the camera loves you, and the fans love you, and I love you. Say hi.”

“No.” Dean walked over and grabbed the camera. He made sure they were both in the frame before he put his free arm around Cas’s waist and pulled him into a deep kiss. “There. That’ll give them something to talk about.”

“Dean!” Cas whined. “You can’t do that to me and then just walk away! That’s not fair!” Dean laughed.

“Come on. We’re gonna be late. Turn off the camera, and let’s go.” Cas sighed, but did as he was told. He would finish his update later. He knew this was important, and Dean had been more than supportive of his vlog. He could at least do this. He tucked his video camera into the pocket of his suit jacket. He didn’t like suits, but he was willing to wear one for Dean. It was only for a few hours, anyway.

“You look really hot all dressed up,” he said, wrapping his arms around Dean’s neck. “We might not make it through dinner.”

“Behave for two hours and I’ll let you do whatever you want to me when we get home.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes. But _only_ if you behave.” Cas nodded. He could do that…maybe. Dean’s definition of “behaving” meant not making sex jokes or innuendos while they were in public. Cas was usually relatively okay about it, but tonight was different. This was a milestone for him personally, and Dean really did look hot all dressed up.

Cas was giddy with nervous excitement. Today marked their six month anniversary. He wasn’t usually one to celebrate stuff like that, but he had never been in a relationship long enough for it either. He felt this was worth celebrating, and Dean had agreed. They had reservations at one of the nicest restaurants in town. Dean’s decision, not Cas’s. Cas was more than content with staying home, updating his vlog, then spending the rest of the night in bed together. But Dean wanted to spoil him, and he wasn’t going to argue.

Cas followed Dean down to Baby. Dean opened the door for him, which had kind of just become habit anyway, then got in the driver’s seat. Cas fished around in the glove box for a second and came up with a cassette tape. He put it in the tape deck and skipped to the song he wanted. Dean smiled when it started playing.

“Is this just gonna be our song?”

“We both like it.” Dean laughed and Cas smiled even more. He couldn’t believe they had made it six months. He had been perfectly content jumping from relationship to relationship with every person he found even remotely interesting. Then Dean had walked into him in that coffee shop and completely changed his attitude. He was still waiting for the day that he got bored, only now he didn’t see it as an escape. It scared him that he might get bored with Dean one day. It scared him that he might lose something so special.

He didn’t voice his concerns. He didn’t want to worry Dean, and he knew how everyone would react. He didn’t want to deal with it. Everything was fine at the moment, so he tried not to let it bother him too much as Dean pulled up to the restaurant. Cas suddenly felt nervous. He didn’t do well in situations like these. He wasn’t fancy, and he wasn’t sophisticated. Dean reached over and took his hand.

“Relax. You’ll be fine. I got us a table in the back away from everyone else.” Cas relaxed a little at that. He was still nervous, but at least he could be nervous in private instead of in a dining room full of people. Dean opened the door for him, talked to the maître d’ for a moment, then they walked to a small table in the back, away from the main dining room. Once they were seated, Dean smiled.

“I know this isn’t really your thing, but thank you for letting me do this.” Cas smiled back.

“I’d never deprive you of an opportunity to spoil me.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“You love me.”

“I do.” Dean suddenly turned serious. “Cas, over the last six months, I kept waiting for you to wake up one day and walk out on me. I was trying to convince myself that I didn’t really love you that much. But I do. I didn’t mean for it happen, but I am _disgustingly_ in love with you. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. You brought out a side of me that I didn’t even know existed. You’re quirky, and you’re annoying, and you’re way too excitable, and I wouldn’t change any of that for world. I love you.” Cas swallowed the lump of emotions in his throat. He was all about emotional honesty, but he _was not_ going to cry in a crowded restaurant, no matter how private their table was.

“Dean, I never thought I’d say these words to anyone, but I don’t _want_ to leave you. Even if I do eventually get bored, I don’t _want_ this to end. I meant it when I said you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You’re thoughtful, and you’re caring, and you don’t give a single fuck about making sure I’m entertained every second of the day. That was my problem with all my other relationships. Everyone was always so focused on trying to keep me interested that they lost all sense of their personality. You haven’t done that. You placate me when I wanna go somewhere for no reason, but for the most part, you live your own life. I need that. Someone who can balance my distractedness with their life. Not someone who changes everything about themselves to accommodate me. You’re different from every person I’ve ever dated, and I love you.” Dean’s smile was almost shy and he was definitely blushing a little.

The rest of their dinner was filled with wine and idle smalltalk. Cas didn’t stop smiling the entire time, but he did keep track of how much wine Dean was drinking. He trusted him, but he didn’t want Dean to slip up again because of him. He still felt a little guilty about pressuring Dean to drink the first time they went out together. He should’ve just left it alone.

“Hey, you okay, Cas?” Cas blinked and realized Dean had been saying something.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I asked if you wanted to skip dessert and get outta here. You okay?”

“I’m fine, Dean. And I’d love to get outta here.” Dean paid the bill, even though Cas insisted they split it, then drove back to their apartment. Cas was expecting an onslaught of kisses the second he got the door open, so he was surprised when Dean took his hand and pulled him over to the couch.

“We’re gonna do this slow,” was all he said before covering Cas’s lips with his own in a warm, tender kiss.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me for this. I promise it gets better. Eventually.

Dean woke up later than usual. He rolled over and realized just how sore he was. Not that he was complaining, but he was definitely glad he had the late shift at work. He opened his eyes. Next to him, Cas was still sound asleep, burrowed in the blankets. Dean smiled softly. He put his arms around his boyfriend and held him close. Cas shifted in his sleep, but didn’t wake up. Dean closed his eyes and drifted back to sleep.

The next time he woke up he was acutely aware that he was alone. He was also acutely aware of the smell of coffee. He got up and trudged into the kitchen. Cas was sitting on the counter eating a bowl of cereal.

“He rises.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“It’s barely noon and you weren’t exactly gentle last night, so shut up.”

“Hey, come on. I made you coffee!” Dean accepted the cup gratefully. He leaned against the counter next to where Cas was sitting.

“How long have you been up?”

“Half an hour maybe? Want some cereal?”

“I would like some bacon, but _someone_ didn’t go shopping, _again_.”

“I told you not to give me adult responsibilities. You get cereal, or you get nothing.” Dean chuckled as he filled a bowl.

“One of these days you’re gonna have to grow up, you know.”

“I know, but does it have to be right now?”

“I guess not. But maybe just go grocery shopping once in a while. Can you do that for me?” Cas leaned in and kissed him.

“Maybe. How about I go shopping and you take Maggie for a walk?”

“Fine. We should probably spend some quality time together anyway and I’ve got some time before work.” Dean scarfed down his cereal, got dressed, and whistled for Maggie. She came running out of the bedroom. Dean knelt down to pet her. “Come on, girl. We’re going for a walk.”

“Take the camera!” Cas’s eyes suddenly lit up.

“No. The vlog was your idea. It’s yours. I’m just in the background sometimes.”

“Dean, just once, have fun with it. The fans love you. I think they’d like to see something from your perspective.”

“You’re gonna make me do this, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am.” Cas ran into the bedroom and came back with his video camera. “Just once. If you don’t like it, fine. I’ll man the camera. But just try it. For me?” Cas gave Dean puppy eyes and Dean sighed. He couldn’t say no to that.

“Give me the fucking camera.” Cas grinned.

“Best boyfriend ever!”

“If I didn’t love you so much I would tell you to shove this camera up your ass.”

“I know you would. And I appreciate you making an effort for me. It means a lot.” Dean gave Cas a long kiss outside their apartment before they went their separate ways. Cas had a rule about Maggie not being on a leash, and Dean respected it. Maggie never ran off too far, and she always came when called. He let her run ahead while he fiddled with the camera settings. He didn’t want to do this, but he was willing to try if it made Cas happy.

“Hey, guys. It’s Dean. Cas is making me do this. I don’t know why, but the smile on his face when I told him I would was more than enough of a reason to do it. I’m taking Maggie for a walk today. It was the only way I could get Cas to go grocery shopping, but I don’t mind. I like Maggie.” Dean panned the camera to the Jack Russell. “Say hi, Maggie!” Maggie barked happily and wagged her tail. Dean laughed. “I like spending time with you, too, sweetheart. Where are we going today?” Maggie immediately bolted down the street. Dean had to jog to keep up.

He followed her into the park and over to a bench. She stopped and waited for him to sit on the sun-warmed wood. Then she picked up a stick and dropped it in his lap. Dean picked it up and threw it across the open green. Maggie happily chased after it. Dean looked into the camera.

“I guess we’re playing fetch today. Cas usually spends most of his time taking pictures, so Maggie comes to me when she wants to play.” Maggie trotted back over and dropped the stick. “Maggie, be honest, who do you like better? Me or Cas?” Maggie tilted her head and whimpered. “Okay, okay. Unfair question.” Dean threw the stick again then looked into the camera. “Maggie likes me better, she just doesn’t wanna admit it.”

Dean spent most of the morning playing fetch with Maggie. He kept the video camera on the entire time. He figured Cas could edit it however he wanted before he posted it. He didn’t mind it as much as he had thought he would. Probably because Cas usually had a camera in his face anyway. He still wasn’t a hundred percent on board with Cas’s vlog, but it seemed to be making him happy, so who was Dean to stop him?

Dean threw the stick, played tug-of-war with a random piece of rope Maggie found, and let her chase him around the park for about an hour before they headed back to the apartment. Cas still wasn’t back yet, so he left a note and went to work.

When he pulled up to the garage he was surprised that Bobby’s car wasn’t there. He cut Baby’s engine and walked in. Gabriel was once again fighting with the lift controls, a lollipop hanging out of his mouth.

“How the fuck did you even get this job?” Dean asked. Gabriel jumped and turned around.

“Fuck off, Winchester.” Dean laughed.

“Hold on.” He got the lift down. “It’s really not that hard, honestly. Where’s Bobby?” Gabriel shrugged.

“Dunno. He wasn’t here when I got here this morning. Figured he decided to finally take a day off.” Dean frowned.

“Without telling anyone?” That didn’t sound like Bobby. He took out his phone and hit the second speed dial. It rang four times before voicemail kicked in. “Hey, Bobby, it’s Dean. Just checking in. Call me when you get this.”

“Dean, I’m sure he’s fine. Come on, we’ve got work to do and Martin called in “sick” again so I get to work a double.”

“Yeah, okay. One second.” Dean hit the first speed dial on his phone.

“I’m busy, what?” Sam snapped.

“Someone’s bitchy today. Have you heard from Bobby?”

“No, why?”

“He’s not at the garage and he’s not answering his phone. I’ve gotta stay here with Gabe, so I was wondering if you’d drop by his place and just check on him. But if you’re busy don’t bother. I can do it on my way home.”

“No, I got it. I could use some time away from my books anyway.”

“Make sure you call me.”

“I know, Dean.” The line clicked and Dean breathed a little easier.

“All right, let’s get to work.”

Two hours later, Dean was getting pissed. It was slow and Sam still hadn’t called him. He was about to call and cuss his little brother out when a cab pulled up outside the garage. Sam got out. Dean stalked outside.

“What part of “call me” did you not understand?” Dean saw Sam swallow, and he was visibly shaken. Dean’s anger quickly turned into panic. “Sammy?”

“Dean, Bobby…” Sam’s voice broke. Dean held his ground.

“What, Sam?”

“You better come with me.”

“Not until you tell me why.”

“Dean,” was all Sam got out before a tear slipped down his cheek.

“Gabe, you’re in charge!” Dean called. “Come on, Sammy.” Gabriel came outside.

“Hey, come on, you can’t ditch me, too.”

“Gabe,” Dean said sharply, “it’s Bobby. I’ll text you where we are. Come once you close up.” Gabriel nodded and went back inside. Sam and Dean got into Baby.

“Hospital,” Sam said. Dean didn’t need any further directions. Even in the beginnings of rush hour traffic, he made it there in record time.

“Tell me what happened,” Dean said. Sam had spent the entire drive silently crying and Dean didn’t like being out of the loop. Now they were sitting in the waiting room at the hospital, waiting for the doctor.

“I don’t really know. I got there, and he didn’t answer the door, so I picked the lock. He was still in bed. He was breathing, but…just barely. I called 911. The paramedic said it looked like a had a stroke while he was sleeping.”

“But he was still alive when they got him here?”

“Barely.” Dean took a deep breath. As long as Bobby was still alive when he got to the hospital, he would be fine. It was Bobby. A man in a white coat walked into the room.

“Sam and Dean Winchester?” Sam and Dean got to their feet.

“Can we see him?” Dean asked.

“I’m afraid he didn’t make it,” the doctor said.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you correctly, because it sounded like you just said he didn’t make it.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Winchester—.”

“It’s Dean,” Dean cut in, “and this is a hospital. You’re a doctor. You’re supposed to save people.”

“We did everything we could, Dean. If we had gotten the call sooner, we may have been able to help him. I’m sorry. I’ll take you to see him.” Sam and Dean followed the doctor down a few hallways. Sam was still crying. Dean’s grief was manifesting as anger, just like it always did. He was also craving a drink, but he was trying to ignore that. The doctor opened the door, then left them alone. Sam spoke first.

“Thank you for always being there for us, Bobby. You took us in even though you didn’t have to, and we can never thank you enough for that. We love you.” Dean shook his head.

“This is bullshit.”

“Dean—.”

“No, Sam. Are you seriously just gonna stand here and accept this?”

“There’s nothing else we can do. It sucks, and it’s not fair, but it’s life.” Dean stared at Bobby’s lifeless body, a bitter taste forming in his mouth.

“I need a drink,” he muttered, bolting before Sam could stop him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to yell at me in the comments if you want. I deserve it. I really am sorry.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right, I was I could say this chapter is better, but...sorry. I promise it gets better eventually.

Cas was sitting on the floor with his back against the front of the couch, working on his latest commission, when he heard the door open.

“Hey, babe!” He called. Dean didn’t answer, and when he came into the living room his annoyance was written all over his face. Cas frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Dean dropped into the arm chair, and kicked his boots up on the coffee table. Cas grimaced a little.

“Can you take your shoes off?”

“Can you leave me alone?” Cas furrowed his brow.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, Cas, I just had a rough day, and I don’t need you nagging me right now.”

“Ya know, I had a rough day, too, but you don’t see me taking it out on you,” Cas snapped. Dean barked a laugh.

“Sure, Cas. You don’t know what a rough day is. All you do is sit around this apartment drawing all day.” Cas threw his sketch pad and pencil onto the table.

“You don’t think what I do is actually work.”

“It’s not. It’s a hobby. Maybe you should try getting a real job like the rest of us.”

“What is your issue!?” Cas knew better than to yell at Dean when he got like this, but he was at the end of his rope.

“Right now? You.” Dean pushed out of the chair, and stormed off in the direction of the bedroom. A door slammed and Cas sank onto the couch. He took out his phone and called Gabriel.

“Hey, Cas, what’s up?”

“You worked today, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“What happened with Dean? He’s really pissed.”

“Nothing that I can think of. Are you okay?”

“Physically, yeah, but…I’m worried. He’s sliding again, and I don’t know what to do.”

“Just be there for him, Cas. That’s all you can do. Give him space right now if he’s being hostile, but don’t leave the apartment. And call me again, or call Sam if he starts to get violent.”

“Okay. Thanks, Gabe.”

“No problem, Cas. Stay safe.” Cas’s phone beeped as the call disconnected. He appreciated that Gabriel cared about him, but he hated that he told him to stay safe in his own apartment. Dean wasn’t violent, and Cas trusted him not to hurt him. He thought about going to check on Dean, but he didn’t want to chance getting more angry words thrown at him, so he picked up his sketchbook, and turned to a clean page.

He was sketching something he thought Dean might like when Maggie trotted over andjumped up next to him. He scratched her behind the ears with his free hand. Maggie whimpered until Cas looked at her.

“What’s wrong, Maggs?” She licked his hand. “Did Dean scare you?” Maggie bit his finger. “Ow. Sorry. Do you wanna see him?” That got a soft bark. “Okay.” Cas picked Maggie up and carried her to the bedroom. He opened the door quietly. Dean was curled up on their bed, facing the window. Cas didn’t say anything, but he smiled just a little when he noticed that Dean’s boots were sitting on the floor in front of the dresser. He set Maggie down, and closed the door as quietly as he’d opened it.

Cas sat on the couch, and folded his legs underneath him. He wrapped himself in Dean’s favorite blanket, and picked up his sketchpad. He was hoping Dean would like it. He wanted to do something to let him know that he loved him, and he wasn’t going anywhere.

It had been six weeks since Bobby died. Four weeks since the funeral. Three weeks since the last time Dean got drunk. He had good days and bad days, which was to be expected, but he was having more bad than good. Cas could only do so much to help him. He had gotten rid of all the alcohol in the apartment, including beer, and he had been avoiding bars to show Dean some solidarity. It didn’t seem to be working.

Cas was well past worried. He was terrified. He didn’t want to lose Dean to the darkness of his own mind, but there was very little he could actually do. He had everyone he knew keeping tabs on him when they weren’t together, but it didn’t put his mind at ease. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes. His phone rang.

“Yeah?”

“How is he?”

“Sam, I’m scared,” Cas said. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Is he drunk again?”

“Not at the moment. I just…how do I help him?”

“We can’t. I hate saying that, but he needs time to process and grieve.”

“But what if…what if he slides all the way back? What if he drinks himself to death?”

“Cas, he’ll be okay. It’s Dean. He’s always okay eventually. And if I have to shove his ass back into rehab, I will. Bobby helped me through this the first time. I’ll help you through it this time.”

“Thank you, Sam.”

“You’re welcome. I know my brother cares about you. He just doesn’t handle grief well. He’ll try to push you away, but you can’t let him. He needs to know that there are people who love him.”

“I understand. I’ll call you if he gets worse.”

“Okay. Bye, Cas.”

“Bye, Sam.” Cas tossed his phone on the coffee table. He got up and poked his head in the bedroom again. Dean was still laying there like he hadn’t moved, but he was gently holding Maggie. Cas smiled. Dean would be okay.

Cas spent the night on the couch. He didn’t want to risk upsetting Dean again. In the morning, he got up and made breakfast. When the smell of bacon didn’t lure Dean out of the bedroom, he brought him a plate. Dean was still curled up on top of the comforter. It didn’t look like he had moved all night. Cas crossed the room and set the plate on the nightstand.

“You didn’t come to bed last night,” Dean said. Cas on the edge of the bed

“I thought you wanted your space.”

“I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.” Dean sat up a little, leaning against the headboard.

“I’m sorry about yesterday. I didn’t mean it.” Cas smiled softly.

“I know, Dean.” He carded his fingers through Dean’s hair. “Maybe you should take a few days off from work. We could go somewhere.” Since Bobby’s death, Dean had been throwing himself into his work. Drunk or sober, he was at the garage all hours. He needed a break. Dean furrowed his brow.

“I own the place now, Cas, I can’t just take off whenever you get bored anymore.” Cas frowned.

“I’m not bored, Dean. I just though you could use a break. You seem…worn out.”

“I’m perfectly fine. If you wanna go somewhere you’re more than capable of going by yourself. You do have a car, remember?” The bitterness in Dean’s voice hurt Cas more than his words.

“I know, and I love it. I’m really not bored. I was only trying to help you.”

“I don’t need help. I need people to stop breathing down my neck all the time.”

“Okay.” Cas got to his feet. “I made you breakfast. Extra bacon. I’m gonna take Maggie for a walk. There’s coffee in the kitchen if you want it.” He wanted to give Dean a goodbye kiss, but he didn’t want to risk being snapped at again. He left the room with Maggie on his heels.

He did take Maggie for a walk, but this time he directed where they went. Without thinking, his feet brought him to Charlie and Gilda’s apartment. He knocked on the door. Charlie opened the door after a minute.

“Oh my God, Cas, you look awful.” She hugged him. He sank into the warm embrace. “What happened?”

“Dean’s slipping. Thought seeing my favorite redhead might cheer me up a little.” Charlie smiled, but there was pain behind it.

“Did you two have a fight?”

“I don’t know. Is it considered a fight when one person tries to make helpful suggestions and the other person tries to bite their head off?” Cas sat on the couch. Maggie jumped up next to him.“I was only trying to help him, but I don’t know how to deal with this.”

“I don’t either, sweetie. Dean was sober when I met him. Sam’s really the only one who can help, and I’m sure this brings back bad memories for him.” Cas sighed. He didn’t want to bother Sam with this anymore, but it seemed like it was his only option. Charlie sat next to him. “I can’t believe you actually talked Dean into doing a vlog. He hates attention.”

“I was a little surprised myself. I thought it would take a lot more convincing. He seems to be enjoying it, though. Whether he choses to admit it or not.”

“How’s the commission work going?”

“That’s actually getting easier. I get a lot of vague requests, so it gives me room to be creative. So far, not complaints.”

“I should hope not. Your art is amazing.”

“Great artists are never appreciated in their own time,” Cas said with a wistful sigh. That was his goal, after all. He didn’t want to be a famous artist until decades after his death. He wanted to be one of the artists covered in college lectures, and who got entire wings of museums dedicated to them. He wanted to be a legend.

“Be the exception to the rule, then.”

“How?”

“I don’t know. Figure it out. You’re smart, you can do this.” Cas smiled.

“I love you.”

“I know.” They spent the rest of the day curled up on the couch, watching bad sitcoms and avoiding Dean as a topic of conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be tomorrow


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I definitely meant to update this earlier but I slept until 1pm instead

Dean got home later than he thought he would. He also had about sixteen more drinks than he had intended to, but Cas didn’t need to know that. He stumbled in the door a little after eleven. He dropped his keys somewhere in the vicinity of the basket and kicked his boots off so Cas didn’t have a fit. He was surprised when he found his boyfriend curled up on the couch, fast asleep. He smiled a little. He sat down and touched Cas’s arm.

“Hey.” Cas stirred awake.

“What time is it?” He asked, his voice gruff with sleep and sexier than usual.

“Little past eleven.”

“You were out late.”

“Went to a bar with Gabriel.” Only half of that was a lie. Dean did go to a bar, but he had gone alone. It was easier to drown himself in whiskey without other people around. He was aware that he was backsliding, he just didn’t care. It wasn’t like it mattered. Cas sat up a little.

“No, you didn’t. I called Gabe at nine when you wouldn’t answer your phone. He said he left the garage at seven and went straight home. Sam confirmed. Where were you?”

“At a bar.”

“Alone?”

“What’s the difference?”

“The difference is my boyfriend going to a bar to get a couple drinks, and my boyfriend going to a bar to hookup with someone. So which is it?”

“I just had some drinks, Cas.” Dean frowned as his brain caught up with Cas’s words. “Do you not trust me?”

“When you’re like this, no, I don’t. You already lied to me when you said you were with my brother. How do I know you’re telling the truth now?”

“You know what, fuck you. Maybe you like to sleep around, but I would never.” Dean got up and slammed the bedroom door. He didn’t expect Cas to follow him anyway. He knew he was being irrational, but he didn’t like being accused of cheating. He was a lot of things, but he wasn’t a cheater. He could never hurt someone like that. Dean fell onto the bed and dug around underneath it until he found his bottle of whiskey. He would drink himself to sleep, and maybe things would be better in the morning.

They weren’t. The next morning, Dean woke up to a pounding headache and the sweet smell of bacon. He rolled over and looked at the clock. It was a little past seven. He groaned, but dragged himself out of bed. He trudged into the kitchen. Cas was standing at the stove, watching the bacon in the pan. Dean walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist. Cas jumped.

“Just me, babe.”

“Yes, I realized that.” Cas pulled away a little. Dean leaned in to kiss him and Cas pulled away more. Dean furrowed his brow.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just…eat breakfast and get to work. We can talk tonight.”

“No. Whatever you have to say to me, you can say now.”

“Dean, we don’t have time for this right now. You have to get to work and I have a commission that I need to finish today. We’ll talk tonight.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, Cas.” He poured a cup of coffee and walked out the front door. The bacon smelled amazing, but he was pissed. He drove down to the garage. He still had an hour until he had to open, which gave him an hour to figure out the right coffee to whiskey ratio so Gabriel wouldn’t bug him about it. Sam and Cas had both asked Gabriel to keep an eye on him and it was beginning to annoy him. He was a grownup. He could take care of himself.

Dean unlocked the doors and went into the office. He sat down in the chair and pulled the lid off his coffee cup. He tipped some whiskey into it. The smell was weak, but so was the taste. He poured a little more in. It took him twenty minutes, but he finally got it right. He had just put the bottle in the bottom drawer of the desk when Gabriel walked into the office.

“You’re early,” Dean commented.

“Cas called me. He said you stormed out of the apartment this morning.”

“And?”

“You took a pass on bacon.” Gabriel sat on the desk. “What’s going on, Dean?”

“Nothing. Leave me alone.”

“Come on, talk to me, Dean-o.”

“No. My personal life is none of your business.” Gabriel raised an eyebrow.

“Uh, it is when you’re dating my brother. I’m worried about Cas. He’s crazy about you and I don’t want you to hurt him.”

“You think I would?”

“I think unintentionally you might. You’re doing this thing where you push away the people you love when you’re hurting. Sam told me about it. He told me not to say anything, but I’m worried that that’s what you’re doing to Cas. He’s in love with you. That’s only ever happened one other time and it nearly killed him. I can’t watch that again. He’s my little brother.” Dean took a long drink from his coffee.

“I’m not gonna hurt him, Gabe. Get to work.”

“It’s not even eight yet.”

“Find something to do and stop bothering me.” Gabriel rolled his eyes, but hopped off the desk. He was about to walk out the door when he turned around. “You should be nicer to the people who care about you, Dean, or one day they might not be there anymore.” Gabriel left and Dean poured a little more whiskey into his coffee. Then he took out his phone and called his brother.

“Hey, Dean, what’s up?”

“Hey. Can you not talk about me to your boyfriend?” Sam sighed.

“I’m sorry, it just slipped out. Gabe’s worried about Cas, and frankly I am, too. You’re spiraling, Dean. I’m scared you’re gonna do something…stupid.”

“And that would be out of the ordinary?”

“Don’t do that. This is what I’m talking about. You’re in that self-deprecating spiral and it’s only gonna get worse if you don’t let us help you.”

“Whatever, Sam, just stop talking about me to Gabriel.” Dean put his phone back in his pocket. It was only then that it occurred to him that Sam was probably going to call or text Gabriel. Sam was all about being open and honest, especially when he was in a relationship. Dean didn’t mind it, as long as he wasn’t the topic of conversation.

Dean got up, stumbled a little, but made it out the door. Gabriel was sitting on the work bench, fiddling with the radio. Dean almost said something, but decided against it. If he engaged Gabriel in a conversation he would never shut up and Dean didn’t need that. Instead, he flipped the open sign early and went back into the office. He had fired most of the other mechanics the second he inherited the garage. The only ones left were Gabriel, Rufus, Gordon, and himself. For the most part, Dean and Gabriel worked opposite shifts since Gabriel was the only other person he trusted to run the garage. Whenever they did work together it was because they were both working doubles. Those days were starting to become torture.

Dean didn’t leave the office again until almost noon. Gabriel was leaning against the lift, sucking on a Jolly Rancher. He was texting, and from the look on his face, it wasn’t a pleasant conversation. He looked up, caught Dean’s eye, and shook his head. Dean walked over.

“What?”

“Nothing. Do you need something?”

“No, but if it’s gonna be this slow, you wanna help me wash Baby?” Gabriel regarded him skeptically for a moment before half smiling. He put his phone away.

“Sure, Dean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be tomorrow!


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to update this much earlier, but I fell asleep. Anyway, enjoy!

Cas put the finishing touches on the commission he was working on, then flipped to the sketch he was working on for Dean. It was almost done. He just wanted it to be perfect. He wanted Dean to know that he wasn’t going anywhere. He picked up his phone and dialed Gabriel’s number.

“Hey, Cas.”

“How’s he doing?”

“Better, actually. We got a little bit of a rough start this morning, but he’s getting there. He stopped drinking coffee about two hours ago and he hasn’t been in the office since.”

“Good. How’s work going?”

“Slow, but we’re managing. You finish the project you were working on?”

“Yup. Now I’m working on something for Dean.”

“That one you showed me last week?”

“Yeah. It’s almost done. I should have it finished by the time he gets home tonight. Just try to keep him in a good mood.”

“I’ll try, but I can’t guarantee anything. I still haven’t figured out what triggers him, but I think if I just talk about his car we’ll be okay.”

“All right. Call me if something happens.”

“You know I will.” Cas set his phone on the couch and look over his drawing. It was technically done, but something felt a little off about it. He put his sketchpad aside and walked into the kitchen. He pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge, then looked at all the pictures on the door. He smiled. Once they officially moved in together, Dean had insisted that they put Cas’s pictures…everywhere.

Cas pulled off his favorite picture and looked at it. He was smiling at the camera while Dean pressed a kiss to his cheek. He remembered the day pretty well. It was a week after they had finished moving Dean’s stuff in. They had spent most of that day laying around the apartment. Dean was watching TV and Cas was drawing. For only living together for a week, they had settled into a rhythm, which was why Cas was so surprised when Dean suddenly pulled him into a kiss. When he asked what he was doing, Dean had simply said, “I wanted to kiss you.” He hadn’t stopped kissing him after that. Cas had decided to take a picture to capture the moment.

Cas smiled. He put the picture back on the fridge and went back into the living room. He had just sat down when Maggie jumped up next to him. She barked once. Cas sighed.

“You wanna go for a walk?” Maggie barked again and wagged her tail. “You couldn’t’ve said something before I sat down?” Maggie tilted her head and whimpered. “Oh, don’t be like that. Come on.” He got back up and followed Maggie out the door. On the way to the park, Cas called Balthazar.

“Hey, Cassie!”

“Hey, you busy?”

“Never. What’s up?”

“I’m taking Maggie to the park. Wanna meet me?”

“Sure. Fifteen?”

“Perfect.” Cas tucked his phone into his pocket. It had been a few weeks since the last time he had seen his cousin, and the last time hadn’t gone so well. That was mostly Gabriel’s fault, but Cas was trying to forget about it. He had too much else to worry about. He sat on his usual bench and watched Maggie while he waited. Then he felt his phone vibrate.

**Dean [3:18pm]:** I’m gonna kill your brother

 **Cas [3:18pm]:** What happened?

 **Dean [3:19pm]:** He will not shut up! Does he have an off button!?

Cas chuckled. Whenever Gabriel got nervous he tended to talk a lot more. He had been on edge ever since Cas asked him to keep an eye on Dean for him.

**Cas [3:20pm]:** Sorry babe. Anything I can do to help?

 **Dean [3:21pm]:** Just tell me you love me and promise you’ll be there when I get home.

 **Cas [3:21pm]:** Of course I love you and I promise I’ll be home. I’m taking Maggie for a walk but I shouldn’t be more than an hour.

 **Dean [3:22pm]:** Okay. I love you too.

Cas knew he was smiling like an idiot, but he didn’t care. It had been weeks since he had actually had a civil conversation with Dean. He missed it. He missed the teasing and the bad jokes and the stupid puns. He hated that Dean was hurting and couldn’t help.

“Sad is a very bad look on you, Cassie.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Explain.” Balthazar sat beside him on the bench. “Is it Gabe or Dean?”

“It’s really not important.”

“So Dean. You’d never pass up the opportunity to bitch to me about Gabe. What’s going on with Dean?” Cas sighed. Not for nothing, Balthazar was persistent.

“I’m sure Gabe told you about Bobby.” Balthazar nodded. “Well, Dean’s not handling it very well. He’s been drinking a lot and he’s been having more bad days than good days. I’m worried about him and I don’t know what to do.”

“Do you want me to talk to him?”

“No. Thank you, but he’s already annoyed that I have Gabe, Sam, and Charlie keeping tabs on him. I’ll figure it out.”

“All right. Are you okay, though?”

“I’m fine, Balthazar. I just wish he’d talk to me.” Cas looked at his cousin. “I love him and I hate that I can’t help him through this.” Cas spent the next hour and a half talking about everything that wasn’t Dean, and by the time he and Maggie got back to the apartment he actually felt a lot better. Dean came home two hours later in better mood than when he left.

“Hey, babe.”

“Hey, how was work?”

“Decent. I finally got Gabriel to shut up.”

“How?” Dean smirked.

“I bet him he couldn’t fit twenty pieces of Laffy-Taffy in his mouth. That shut up him real quick.” Cas laughed.

“You’re awful. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

“What do you want for dinner?”

“Oh, I’m actually going out with Benny.”

“Where?”

“Movies.”

“All right. Just tell me what time you’ll be home so I can have dinner ready.”

“We’re actually gonna go to a bar after.”

“Oh. Well, why don’t I just meet you there then?” Dean narrowed his eyes.

“Why can’t I just have a night out with my friends? Do we have to do everything together?” Cas blinked. If Dean kept having mood swings, he was going to get whiplash.

“Sorry. Go ahead. I’ll call Gabe and see if he wants to do anything.” Dean took a shower, changed, and was out the door again in under twenty minutes. As soon as the door closed Cas pulled out his phone.

“Hey, Cas.”

“Hey, Gabe. I was wondering if I could crash on your couch for, like, a week?”

“WHAT!?” Cas winced.

“Please don’t yell.”

“I’m sorry, but what? What happened?”

“Dean came home and I asked him what he wanted for dinner. He told me he was going to a movie with Benny.”

“Yeah, he told me.”

“Okay, well I asked him what time he would be home so I could make dinner. He said he and Benny were going to a bar after, so I offered to just meet them there. He snapped on me. He asked if we had to do everything together. I told him to go and now I’m asking if I can crash on your couch for a week. I’m tired of this. I wanna see how he feels when he comes home and I’m not here.”

“You’re just…gonna leave? I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Gabriel paused. “Come over. We can talk.” Cas sighed, but agreed.

“Fine.” He put his phone back in his pocket and walked to Sam and Gabriel’s apartment.

“You can’t walk out on my brother.”

“Well, hello to you too.”

“Hi. You can’t walk out on my brother.”

“I’m not walking out on him. Can I come in?”

“Right, sure.” Sam stepped back and let Cas in. Gabriel handed him a beer and the three of them sat on the couch. “Now, what happened?” Cas relayed all the things that had been happening over the last few weeks that had brought him to his breaking point.

“I’m not walking out on him. I would never do that, I love him. I just…want him to understand what it feels like.”

“Cas, I know this is tough. I’m not asking you to stay with him if you can’t handle it. All I’m asking is that you be gentle if you do leave.”

“I’m not leaving, Sam. Your brother is an absolute idiot, but I’m crazy about him. I just wish he would realize how much this hurts me. I can’t keep doing this every single day. I need a break.” Sam and Gabriel exchanged a look before Sam nodded.

“Okay. As long as you leave him a note telling him where you are.”

“I can do that.” Cas stood up. “I’ll be back in an hour.” He went home, wrote Dean something that resembled a letter more than a note, then packed a duffle and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be Wednesday


	34. Chapter 34

Dean got home earlier than he thought he would and it was because of Benny. The entire drive to the theater, during the previews, and the entire drive to the bar, Benny had been asking him perfectly innocent questions that made Dean realize just how horrible he had been to Cas over the last couple weeks. He dropped Benny off at the bar and went home, hoping to apologize.

“Hey, Cas!” He called when he walked in. “I skipped the bar so I’m starving. You wanna get a pizza?” Pizza was always good food for talking things over. Dean frowned when there wasn’t a response. He walked into the bedroom. That’s where he saw a piece of paper folded on the bed. He picked it up and sat down. He unfolded it.

_Dean,_

_Let me start by saying that I love you. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met. But the person you are when you’re drunk isn’t you. I don’t think I can explain to you how I feel when nothing I do is good enough. I’m trying to help you, but I don’t know how. So I’m staying with Sam and Gabe for a few days. I just need a break. Please just let me have this. I love you, Dean. I really do. — Cas_

The paper slipped from Dean fingers as he ran out the door. He didn’t even think to take Baby, he just ran the blocks to Sam and Gabriel’s apartment. When he got there, he was out of breath and a little dizzy, but that didn’t stop him from banging on the door until it was opened.

“Dean, I have studying to do, what do you want?”

“Where’s my boyfriend?”

“Asleep on the couch and no you can’t see him.”

“Sam, you can’t just—.” Dean was cut off when his younger brother pushed him into the hallway. Sam closed the door.

“Look, Dean, I’m not happy about this either, but Cas came to us nearly in tears. You’re killing him. I know you’re hurting, I know this isn’t fair, but you’re an adult and if you don’t start acting like one you’re gonna lose the best thing that ever happened to you. Grow up.”

“Sam, I just want to apologize to him.”

“Later. Give him some space. At least a couple days. He needs breathing room.”

“You can’t keep me away from him.”

“I can when he’s in my apartment.” Sam put his hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Go home, Dean. Get some sleep. And sober up. Bobby wouldn’t want this for you. You know that. Don’t undo all the work you did.” Sam paused. “Don’t become Dad.” Dean shoved Sam into the wall.

“You know what, fuck you. Dad did the best he could with us.”

“No, he didn’t and I wish you would stop defending him. You’re a better man than Dad ever was.” Dean glared at his brother.

“Tell Cas I wanna talk to him.” He stormed down the hall. Once he was out on the street, he headed for the nearest bar and called Charlie. She showed up twenty minutes later.

“Dean, are you okay? You sounded really upset on the phone.”

“So you brought a taser?” He asked, pointing at the small taser Charlie had set on the bar.

“I didn’t know if you were drunk. I thought I might have to tase you. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, I’m just pissed.”

“Sam won’t let you see Cas.”

“How do you—?”

“Sam called me, like, two seconds before you did. Guess he figured I’d be your next call.”

“Well, I’ll give him credit. The kid knows me.” Dean ordered a whiskey. “I just don’t get why he did this.” Charlie put her hand on Dean’s.

“Sweetheart, he’s upset. No offense, but you haven’t been the best boyfriend, or friend, lately. I know you’re hurting, but you can’t drown your feelings in alcohol. We’re all just trying to help you and you’re pushing everyone away.”

“Yeah, I do that,” Dean muttered.

“I know you do, sweetie, and the rest of us are used to it. Cas isn’t. He doesn’t fall in love, but he fell in love with you, and I’ve never seen him happier. He’s afraid of losing you. You can’t keep pushing him away.”

“I’m not trying to, Charlie. I love him. I promise I do.”

“Then stop drinking. You spent six years holding yourself accountable to Bobby. He’s gone now, but you have Cas. Hold yourself accountable to him.” Dean thought about that while he stared at his whiskey. “I’m not trying to be a bitch. You’re my best friend. I love you and I don’t wanna see you throw away something incredible because you were an idiot.”

“Thank you for your continued support.”

“I’m just being honest, Dean.” Charlie took his whiskey and slid it out of his reach. “Stop drinking. I know it’ll be hard, but we’re all here for you and none of us are going anywhere.” Dean smiled just a little.

“I love you, Charlie.”

“I know. Now, since Cas is camping out on Sam and Gabe’s couch, why don’t I stay with you so you aren’t lonely? Gilda’s gonna be working late at the hospital for the next few days, so I’m free for all the best friend time you need.”

“Thanks, but I think I’ll be okay.”

“No! Come on! It’ll be fun! When was the last time we had real best friend time? We can eat junk food and watch cheesy chick-flicks and have bonding time. Please?” Dean smiled more.

“All right, but no chick-flicks.”

“You love chick-flicks.” Dean paused.

“I do, but that stays between us.”

“Of course. Come on. We can hit a drug store on the way back to your place and get snacks.”

“Fine.” Dean paid for the drink he never had and they left the bar. It had been a long time since he and Charlie had hung out, just the two of them. He missed it a little. She really was his best friend. Other than Sam, of course, but Dean was getting a little annoyed with his slightly judgmental little brother. He wanted a few days of not having to worry about anything.

“Dude, if you stare at those Skittles any harder you’re gonna put a hole in them.”

“Sorry.” Dean grabbed some licorice and a box of microwave popcorn. When they got back to Dean’s apartment, they changed into pajamas and sat on the couch. “What are we watching?”

“How about… _Star Trek_ marathon?”

“Charlie, marry me.” They laughed.

“If I were straight, I would. But I’ll settle for lesbian best friend.”

“Oh, all right.” They settled in to watch. They were half way through the first movie when Dean took out his phone.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” Charlie leaned over and grabbed his phone. “Hey!”

“No texting Cas. Give him some space. You two can talk once he feels better and you’re sober.”

“I am sober.”

“Sober for more than five hours, Dean.”

“Fine, fine, fine.” Dean surrendered his phone. He wasn’t happy about it, but he knew Charlie was right. Cas had to make first contact. Dean knew he had screwed up. He had to face the consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be Sunday.
> 
> Feel free to drop a comment. I love feedback and constructive criticism!


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating at almost 5 in the morning because I can't sleep. Anyway, enjoy!

Every single night Cas spent on Sam and Gabriel’s couch, he woke up in a cold sweat. He hated being away from Dean. He missed him.

“He probably hates me,” he finally said after the third day. Gabriel rolled his eyes.

“He doesn’t hate you.”

“Then why hasn’t he called or texted or _anything_?”

“Because we told him not to,” Sam explained. “We thought it would be better if you contacted him when you were ready.”

“He’s just as miserable as you are,” Gabriel said. “The other day he snapped on me for asking where a wrench was.” He paused. “Of course, I did it in a Mickey Mouse voice, but still.”

“Is he sober?”

“Seems to be,” Sam answered. “I’ve had Charlie keeping an eye on him and she hasn’t said anything about him drinking.”

“Oh, I’m sure he loved that.”

“I doubt he even realized what she was doing. She’s discreet. If you’re missing him that much you should call him.”

Cas thought about it. He thought about it all morning. He was still thinking about it when Gabriel went to work, and still when Sam left to go meet his study group. He stared at his phone for a long time before he picked up his sketchpad to work on his latest commission.

He got nowhere. He couldn’t stop thinking about Dean. He felt less stressed, which had been the whole point, but now there was a longing and a sadness that he couldn’t shake. He picked up his phone and dialed. Dean picked up after the third ring.

“Hey, Cas. What’s up?” He didn’t sound happy or relieved or angry. He didn’t sound…anything.

“Hello, Dean.” It was then that Cas realized he had no idea what to say. “Do you wanna get lunch?” Lunch. Lunch was good. They could talk in person.

“Sure. Diner down the street from the garage in thirty.”

“Okay, see ya.”

“Bye, Cas.” The line clicked in his ear. Cas didn’t have time to analyze how that conversation went. He showered, dressed, and walked to the diner. He ended up being ten minutes early, but that was fine. Better than being late. He sat in a booth, picked a playlist, and waited.

Dean was ten minutes late. Cas didn’t care. His heart damn near stopped when he saw him walk in. Even with looking at pictures and drawings, he had forgotten how gorgeous his boyfriend was. He stood and gave him a hug, which Dean reciprocated. However, when he went for a kiss, Dean pulled back.

“No. You can’t leave like that and then just expect a hug and a kiss to make everything better.” Cas nodded even though that wasn’t what he was trying to do. They sat and stared at each other. Cas was waiting for Dean to speak first.

“Well?” Dean eventually prompted.

“I’m sorry,” Cas started, “I’m sorry I left the way I did, but I’m not sorry I left. You were killing me. I didn’t know what to do anymore and I didn’t wanna start a fight.”

“Why didn’t you just talk to me?” Cas almost laughed. Dean asked that like he hadn’t been using every single one of Cas’s words against him for the last month.

“Because talking to you was a minefield. I had no idea what would set you off. Even when I was trying to be helpful, you would snap at me. I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt like everything I did, or tried to do, was wrong. Maybe you can understand that.” Bringing up Dean’s ex was a low blow, but he couldn’t think of any other way to explain how he was feeling. Dean crossed his arms.

“Fine, I’ve been a shitty boyfriend, I’ll admit that. I’m a different person when I drink, but I don’t understand why you couldn’t just give me my space. I just lost the one person in my life who made me feel like I was worth something. Everyone else needs me for something. Sam needed me to help with school, every single one of my friends needed me at one point and now I only see them when we all hang out together, and you,” Dean faltered a little, “you’re only with me until you meet someone better.” Cas blinked.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not stupid, Cas. You go after interesting people. I’m not interesting. You’re gonna figure that out eventually. You’re just with me because you needed something to do your project on. I put everything into that car and painted it that color because I love you, and you haven’t touched it since. You didn’t want it and you should’ve just said that.” Cas reached across the table and put his hand on Dean’s folded arms.

“Dean, I love that car. I don’t drive it because unless I’m walking somewhere you always drive. I’m not with you because I need something from you. I’m with you because I love the person you are. I wish there was a way I could prove that to you. I know how I was in the past. I can’t change that, but I promise that I do love you.”

“How can I be sure of that? I got my heart broken by the girl I thought I was gonna marry and then the first person I started dating after that was you. You told me up front that this wasn’t gonna be anything serious and I’m still scared that…that you’re…gonna leave me.” Cas got up and moved to the other side of the table. He pulled Dean into a hug and kissed his temple.

“I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart.”

“But you did,” Dean said quietly. “I came home and you were gone and all you left was a note. I can’t tell you how much that hurt me. And then Sam wouldn’t let me see you and I thought…Cas, I was scared you wouldn’t come back.” Cas felt like he wanted to vomit. He hadn’t considered how Dean would react to him leaving for a few days. He only wanted to give Dean some time to sober up.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I didn’t mean to upset you like that. I just needed space.”

“I understand that, but…how can I trust you?”

“Are you…what are you saying?”

“I love you, Cas, but…can you promise me that you’ll never leave me again?” Cas didn’t even think about his answer.

“Yes.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yes. I promise I will never leave you again.” Dean stared at him.

“You mean it.” It wasn’t a question. Dean leaned in and kissed him. Cas kissed him back. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too, Dean. I was miserable without you.”

“Good. Now, I’ve got fifteen minutes left on my break and I believe you once said you wanted to fuck me in the backseat of my car?”

“That I did. But are we okay?”

“Definitely. These last three days were hell without you. Even a _Star Trek_ marathon with Charlie didn’t help.” Cas smiled.

“It was hell for me, too. And not just because our brothers are incredibly annoying. I missed Maggie.”

“She missed you, too. Kept biting me whenever I told her I didn’t know when you were coming back.”

“Well, I’ll have to make it up to her. But you first. Impala?”

“Impala.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be Wednesday.
> 
> Feel free to drop a comment! I live for feedback and constructive criticism!


	36. Chapter 36

Dean was flipping through one of Cas’s sketchbooks when he came across a drawing of Baby. There was a small note written in the top left corner. He stared at it for a minute before saying,

“Hey, what’s this?” Cas came out of the kitchen. He looked at the drawing and smiled.

“Oh. I meant to give you that months ago. I just never felt like it was done. It was supposed to be a thank you present for helping me with my project. Then it was gonna be an anniversary present. Then it was supposed to cheer you up after Bobby.”

“But you never gave it to me.”

“It always felt like it was missing something. Something important.” Dean chuckled.

“Artists.”

“What?”

“You never think your work is good enough. There’s always gonna be something missing if you look for it hard enough. The drawing is amazing.” Cas looked at it again.

“You’re right. It’s perfect. And you are my new consultant.”

“What?”

“Whenever I’m not sure if something is done, I’m gonna have you look at it. If you think it looks good, I won’t worry about it.”

“You trust me with that?”

“Of course. You don’t sugar coat and you don’t lie. You’re perfect.”

“Thanks. Have you ever done any drawing of Maggie? I haven’t seen any.”

“No, I haven’t. I’ve taken plenty of pictures, but…I’ve never tried drawing her.” Cas grinned. “Thanks for giving me my next project.”

“You’re welcome.” Cas rested his head in Dean’s lap and drew up his knees so he could work. Dean turned back to the TV. He subconsciously sifted his fingers through Cas’s hair as they sat in silence, the only sound coming from the show he was watching. Dean smiled to himself. They had hit a rough patch. Actually, it was more like one of those sand pits on golf courses that he could never for the life of him get out of once he was stuck in one, but they got past it. He still wasn’t sure he completely trusted Cas, but he was happy. Being with Cas made him happy. And they were just dating. It wasn’t like they were talking about marriage.

Dean would be lying if he said the thought hadn’t crossed his mind a few times, but he knew it was ridiculous. He had been with Lisa for three years before he seriously gave it some thought and she had broken up with him. He and Cas hadn’t even been together for a year yet and it wasn’t like Cas was in any hurry to tie the knot. Dean shook his head. He needed to forget about it before he blurted out something stupid. He ended up saying,

“Tell me a secret.” Cas stopped sketching. He tilted his head back to look up at Dean.

“What?”

“Tell me a secret. Tell me something about yourself that no one else knows.”

“Well, that’s impossible. Gabe knows everything about me.” Dean chuckled.

“Fine. Tell me something about yourself that only Gabe knows.” Cas tapped his pencil against his sketchbook, deep in thought. Dean waited. Finally Cas sighed and sat up.

“All right. I know I told you a little bit about my childhood, but I didn’t tell you everything. Before I was born, the doctor told my mom that she was having a girl. My mom was thrilled. She always felt outnumbered with her and Anna being the only girls. She painted the baby room pick and bought this girly stuff. Then I was born. The doctor must’ve read the sonogram wrong because…well, obviously I’m not a girl, despite what Gabe might tell you. Mom was crushed. She hated me, but she couldn’t just…get rid of me. So she essentially denied my existence, which I actually preferred. My father, he wanted a boy, but he wanted someone like Michael and Raphael. A man’s man. That’s not me.

“It wasn’t so bad at first. A lotta yelling, but nothing terrible. Then he started hitting me with anything he could find. Hand, belt, shoe. He even hit me with a phonebook once because it was the closest thing in reach. Then in high school I started…experimenting. Nothing too intense, not like now, but…my dad found the box with all my toys and proceeded to beat me with my own whip. Gabriel was the only one who ever tried to help me. He wasn’t really what either our parents wanted either. He came out as bi when he was ten and our parents dismissed it. He came out again when he was twelve, and then again at fourteen and sixteen. They finally took him seriously enough that our dad started beating him, too.

“He had an out the second he turned eighteen. He could’ve bolted and never looked back. He didn’t though. He stay an extra five years and took hundreds of beating he didn’t have to because he didn’t wanna leave me behind. He saved me and there is nothing I can ever say or do that’ll be enough to thank him for what he did for me.” Cas was crying and Dean immediately felt guilty. He wrapped his boyfriend in a warm hug.

“I’m so sorry, Cas. You deserve better.”

“That’s exactly what I have.” Cas cleared his throat. “So, what about you? Got any secrets for me?” Dean bit his lip and tried to think of anything he hadn’t already told him.

“All right, well, I guess the only thing is my breakup with Lisa. I haven’t told anyone the whole story yet. Honestly, I’m still not even really sure what happened, but here’s how I remember it. I was seriously contemplating marrying her. I even went ring shopping with Jessica, who was dating Sammy at the time. Everything seemed perfectly fine. Sure, Lisa was nit-picky and always had _something_ to complain about, but I never really noticed it. I was in love with her. Then one morning, she woke up and decided to end it. I was sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast before my shift. She came in, told me point blank that we were on different paths and she needed to be with someone who was actually gonna get somewhere in life, then left to go to her internship. She just…walked out on me and told me I had to have my stuff out of the apartment by the end of the week. That was it. I only saw her once after that when I went to get my stuff and that was somehow worse.”

“Okay, full offense, but she sounds like a bitch.” Dean shook his head.

“She’s not. At least, I didn’t think she was. For three years she was…amazing. She was everything I wanted in another person. I knew she was miles out of my league, but I didn’t care because she seemed to really love me. Looking back on it, I don’t think she ever loved me. I think she just wanted someone who would do anything for her. I would’ve, too. I would’ve done almost anything if it meant getting to be with her.”

“You…do realize how…fucked up that is, right?” Dean rolled his eyes.

“Well, _now_ I do. You know, hindsight being 20/20 and all. I was just so blind. I really thought someone like her could actually love someone like me.”

“See, I hate when you say shit like that. “Someone like you”, what does that even mean? Okay, so you’re a mechanic, so what? It’s a job. And a pretty important one, I might add. You’re amazing at what you do and that’s something you should be proud of. Not everyone can be doctors and lawyers. Someone has to do the dirty, low-paying jobs that keep the crumbling foundation of our society standing. You should be proud of what you do. You’re keeping our country from collapsing.” Dean laughed and was once again reminded why he loved Cas as much as he did. Cas believed in him. Cas made him feel like his life was actually worth something. Cas made him feel special.

“I appreciate your continued support.”

“I’m not joking around, Dean. You’re the backbone of America.”

“Okay.”

“Seriously. Backbone of America, Dean. Backbone of America.”

“Okay, okay, could you…just…stop saying it?”

“Why? Scared you can’t handle it?”

“It just feels like a lotta pressure. I mean, the economy is in the toilet and the country’s being run by a carrot in a wig. I don’t think I wanna be the backbone of this country right now.” Cas laughed.

“All right, fair enough. Thank you for finally sharing your breakup story. And I’m sorry your ex is a bitch.”

“I’m sorry your parents were abusive assholes.”

“Oh, no, just my dad. My mom ran out on us when I was seven. Although, my dad wasn’t really around either, now that I think about it. Just when he felt the need to punish me for…you know…existing.” Dean hugged Cas against him. He had been the one who asked to hear a secret, but a small part of him was wishing he could take it back. He was glad Cas had shared because he knew it was important, but a very small part of him wished he could go back twenty minutes, before he knew his boyfriend’s tragic backstory.

“I love you, Cas. Don’t ever forget that.”

“I love you, too, Dean.” Dean hugged Cas tighter. He didn’t want to let him go. Not now. Not ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be Sunday.
> 
> Feel free to drop a comment. I live for feedback and constructive criticism!


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I definitely meant to update this hours ago, but I got sidetracked. Sorry! Anyway, enjoy!

“Happy Halloween, guys! I’d just like to thank everyone who submitted costume ideas! Most of them were great, some of them were a little weird, but ultimately, we had fun with it! Dean refused to do a couple costume because he’s a buzzkill, but I’ll still be posting a ton of pictures from tonight. If I don’t take them, they’ll be taken by my and Dean’s best friend Charlie. Check her out on Instagram. I’ll put her link under all the pictures she takes. Now, for the costume reveal!” Cas turned the video camera to Dean.

“I hate you for this,” he said. Cas laughed. Some of his former classmates had invited him to a party they were throwing and Cas had somehow convinced Dean that it would be fun to go. “I look stupid.” Cas chuckled and straightened his bowtie.

“No, you don’t. I think you make a great Eleventh Doctor.”

“Better than Matt Smith?”

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far.” Cas pecked Dean’s cheek. “You’re cute, though.”

“You couldn’t have picked _any other_ fandom?”

“What were our options, Dean? This or _Star Trek_ or whatever that LARPing thing is that you and Charlie do that you say you hate, but actually love. Charlie and Gilda called dibs on _Star Trek_ and since you _refuse_ to do a couple costume, we didn’t have a choice.” Cas had already explained it to Dean fifteen times and he was starting to get annoyed. Things had been getting a lot better in the last few weeks and he didn’t want to risk starting a fight, but he really didn’t see what the big deal was. It was a Halloween party. It wasn’t going to kill him.

“Next time you wanna flip a coin, I’m flipping and you’re calling,” Dean muttered.

“Fine. Next time. Right now, is my hair messy enough?” Dean stared at him for a long moment.

“Depends. What are you going for?”

“Circa season 3.”

“Mmm. Not quite.” Dean pulled Cas into a hot kiss, making sure to grip his hair. “There. Much better.”

“I…damn.” Cas licked his lips. “Remind me to get you back for that later.”

“Noted. Come on, we’re gonna be late.”

“Hold on.” Cas held up his camera. “Guys, say hello to the Eleventh Doctor!” Dean smiled and waved for the camera because he knew Cas wasn’t going to stop until he did. Cas turned the camera back to himself. “And the Tenth Doctor! We’ll be meeting Captain Kirk and Spock shortly!” Cas put the video camera in the pocket of his tench coat, along with his favorite digital camera. They walked down to the Impala and got in.

“Why couldn’t we be Will and Jack from _Will and Grace_?” Dean asked as he followed Cas’s directions.

“Dean, for the millionth time, I wanted to do something from a fandom people our age are actually in. We’ll do _Will and Grace_ next year.” Cas smiled to himself at the prospect of them still being together next year. He had said it with so much certainty that he fully believed he wasn’t going anywhere. It made him happy.

“Do you know how many people were invited to this party?”

“Like, twenty, I think.”

“So if everyone brings a date or a friend, we’re looking at around forty people that I don’t know.”

“Relax, Dean. You’ll be fine.”

“I’m not a social person.”

“And I’m overly social. We balance each other out!” Cas put his hand on Dean’s arm. “Don’t worry. I won’t leave your side. You won’t be forced to make awkward small talk, I promise.”

“Thank you.”

“Besides, I’m gonna need someone to hold the camera.” Dean laughed as he parked Baby on the street.

“I’ll leave that to Charlie.”

“She’s gonna be taking pictures. It’s not that hard, Dean, just hold the camera steady. I think you can handle that.”

“Well, I guess if you can do it…” Cas gave Dean a playful punch.

“Shut up.” Dean responded by kissing him and messing up his hair even more.

“Make me.” Cas swallowed.

“You’re paying for that when we get home.”

“Big talk coming from the guy who looks like a nerd.”

“Said the guy wearing a fez.”

“Hey, bowties and fezzes are cool!” They shared a laughed before they got out of the car and joined the party. They ran into Charlie and Gilda thirty minutes later.

“Look who showed up! Guys, my and Dean’s best friend Charlie and her girlfriend Gilda as Captain Kirk and Spock!” Charlie laughed and waved at the camera.

“Hey, guys!”

“You two are idiots,” Gilda said with a fond smile.

“Couldn’t agree more,” Dean said.

“You two are so boring.” Cas handed the camera to Gilda. “Hold this for a second. Charlie, take some pictures of me and Dean.” Charlie took his other camera and took a few quick shots.

“Tenth and Eleventh Doctor. You two look adorable.” Cas nodded his agreement as he took a few atmospheric pictures before turning the camera to Charlie and Gilda.

“Why did you get to be Ten?” Charlie asked.

“Because Dean looks cute in a bowtie. And he looks more like Matt Smith than David Tennant.”

“Why couldn’t I be Jack Harkness?”

“Oh, sweetie, you don’t have that much charisma.” Dean stuck his tongue out at Charlie. They split up for a little while. Charlie ran into a couple of her friends from one of the classes she didn’t have with Cas and Cas was flocked by a couple of classmates who had been keeping up with his online presence. Dean seemed perfectly content to hang back and let Cas do the talking, and Cas was okay with that. He knew Dean was uncomfortable in social situations.

Cas was on his fifth glass of spiked punch when Dean finally spoke up without being prompted. Cas was talking to one of the guys from his film class, who was dressed as Spider-Man. They were talking about video techniques Cas could try for his vlog when Dean said,

“Can you show me how to do that?” The guy, whose name was escaping Cas, smiled.

“Sure. You’re Dean, right?”

“Yeah.”

“David.” _Thank God I didn’t try to introduce them_ , Cas thought as they shook hands. He had been pretty sure that guy’s name was Mike. Not even close. David took the video camera from Dean and started explaining a few things. Figuring he could hold his own for a few minutes, Cas walked over the refreshments table.

“Having fun?” Cas turned around to face the person speaking. He didn’t recognize her, but that didn’t really mean anything.

“Yeah. Sorry, do I know you?”

“No. I’m a friend of Dean’s.” Cas frowned slightly. He was pretty sure he knew all of Dean’s friends.

“Okay. Well, I’m Cas.”

“Lisa. It’s nice to meet you.” Cas tensed. He kept his expression neutral, but he could feel anger bubbling in his chest.

“Wish I could say the same.”

“I guess that means Dean told you about me.”

“To some extent, yeah. What are you even doing here?”

“Friend of a friend invited me. I wasn’t going to come, but then I saw on your little video that you and Dean were coming. I thought it might be nice to see him again.”

“You watch my videos?” was all Cas could think to say. It was taking every ounce of his willpower not to snap.

“You tag Dean in all of them, so they pop up on my feed. Where is he? I’d like to say hi.” Cas crossed his arms.

“I don’t think he really has any interest in talking to you.”

“Why don’t you let him decide that for himself?” Lisa was sickeningly polite, and Cas could see how easy it would have been for Dean to fall for her. He was about to say something snarky when Dean walked over.

“Hey, don’t…” he trailed off when he saw Lisa. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Just stopped by to say hi. It’s been a while.” Cas watched Dean’s face for a reaction. He was impressed at how well he was keeping himself composed.

“There’s a reason for that. You broke up with me and you were pretty much a horrible person all around the entire three years we dated, so what makes you think I would ever wanna see you again?” Dean glanced at Cas, who smiled encouragingly. “Leave me, and my boyfriend, alone.” Dean didn’t wait for Lisa to say anything. He grabbed Cas’s hand and dragged him to the other side of the room.

“I hate her,” Cas said. “I actually, physically hate her. I wanted to punch her and I don’t hit people.”

“Thank you for not doing that. And I’m sorry for whatever she said to you.” Cas shook his head.

“She didn’t really say anything to me. I was about to give _her_ a few choice words, but you did that for me. Of course, you were a lot nicer about it.”

“No point in being an asshole about it now. It’s been eight months and I’m happy. I’m not gonna let her ruin that.” Cas smiled. He liked hearing Dean talk like that, but he still wanted to give Lisa a piece of his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be Wednesday


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the super late update. I'll be honest, I completely forgot. Hope you guys enjoy!

Dean felt like he was suffocating. He hadn’t had a drink in weeks, his friends were keeping closer tabs on him than ever, and Cas was acting like nothing ever happened. He should’ve been happy. He and Cas were in a place where they were comfortable again, but it didn’t feel real. Dean kept expecting to wake up from a dream, alone. He held Cas a little tighter, reminding himself that he was real.

“You okay, babe?”

“I’m fine.” Cas looked up at him.

“What’s wrong?” Dean sighed.

“It’s nothing, seriously. Wanna watch a movie?”

“Only if you don’t mind me getting up every ten minutes to walk around.”

“That’s fine. You can get me snacks.” Cas lightly smacked his chest and Dean laughed. He picked up the remote. “What do you wanna watch?”

“Something with cute people.”

“You’re gonna have to be more specific than that, babe.”

“I really don’t care. Just pick something.” Dean shrugged and settled on _Masterminds_. It was incredibly stupid, but it was funny, and Dean needed a laugh. Just as he said, Cas was up and moving within the first ten minutes.

“Can you get me a beer?”

“Anything else while I’m out there?”

“Chips, or some pretzels. Maybe some popcorn.” Cas poked his head out of the kitchen.

“How many hands do you think I have?” Dean laughed.

“Just get me a beer and come sit with me.” Cas came back with two beers and a half-eaten bag of pretzels. He handed Dean the bag and one of the beers, then curled up on the couch next to him. He rested his head on Dean’s shoulder.

“This movie is stupid.”

“That’s the point, Cas. Mindless entertainment. It’s comedy that doesn’t require a whole lotta thought.”

“And people wonder why I can’t sit still through a whole movie.”

“I’m not asking you to sit still. Just stay here with me.” Dean ran his fingers through Cas’ hair. Cas hummed quietly and relaxed against him. He tucked his feet underneath him and picked up his sketchpad. “What are you working on?”

“A mini series about all the stupid domestic shit we do.” Cas turned his pad so Dean could see. It was rough, but Dean knew it would look flawless when he was done. “I’ve got a pretty good online fanbase and everyone’s been saying they want more pictures and drawings of us together.”

“And since when do you pander to the masses?”

“It’s not pandering if I’m drawing things I like.” Cas looked up at him and smiled. “I love you.”

“Why?” Cas frowned slightly.

“Do I have to have a reason?”

“I guess I just need to know why you think I’m so special.”

“I don’t. Dean, you don’t have to be special to be worthy of love. I don’t really have a reason for why I love you, I just do. Being around you makes me happy. You have an energy that I just really like. I feel a spark when I’m with you and I don’t wanna lose it. Isn’t that enough?” Dean smiled. Cas always said exactly what he needed to hear.

“Thanks, Cas.” He kissed his boyfriend’s temple.

“I want you to be happy. I know that’s not easy right now, but I’m gonna do everything I can to help.” Cas smiled softly before going back to his drawing. Dean turned his attention back to the TV. He wasn’t really paying attention, though. Every few seconds he would sift his fingers through Cas’ hair, just to remind himself that he was still there. He smiled to himself. Cas’ hair was soft and smelled like watermelon. He leaned in to breathe in the scent. It scared him just how in love he was with Cas. He had never felt something so intense before. Not even with Lisa. It was new and he was worried that he would get too comfortable with it.

To distract himself from thinking too much, Dean took out his phone. He scrolled through Cas’ Instagram page. Every so often he liked to see how much attention his boyfriend was getting. The more the better. It was getting to the point that Cas was making almost as much as Dean was. The extra income was nice and Cas was happier than Dean had ever seen him. Dean admired that Cas had a passion and was making a living doing it. He had never really been passionate about anything. He was good with cars and Bobby owned a repair shop, so it just made sense for him to work with cars. He remembered vaguely wanting to be a firefighter at one point, but after the way his mother died he never gave it another thought.

“Hey, Cas, can I ask you something?”

“Always.”

“Do you think I’d make a good firefighter?” Cas tiled his head back to look at him.

“Yes, why?” Dean shrugged.

“I dunno. Just thinking.” Cas sat up.

“Do you wanna be a firefighter?”

“I dunno. I thought I did when I was little, but then my mom died and…I guess I just didn’t think it was good idea anymore.”

“Well, if that’s what you wanna do, I fully support you.”

“Really?”

“Of course. You should do something that makes you happy.”

“I don’t know if it would. I was just thinking.” Cas cupped his cheek and kissed him.

“Give it some thought and let me know what you decide. Now, if you’re not watching this movie, can we please put on something that’s not stupid?” Dean rolled his eyes.

“Fine. You pick.” He handed Cas the remote.

“But I don’t like anything.”

“Come on. You’ve gotta have a guilty pleasure show. Everyone does. Mine’s _Dr. Sexy, MD_.” Cas raised an eyebrow at him.

“Really?”

“Shut up.”

“I’m not judging, I’m just surprised. You don’t seem like the type.”

“I’m not, but,” Dean shrugged, “a hot guy is a hot guy.”

“Seriously?”

“What? When we first met I distinctly remember you telling me you wanted to fuck a bacon cheeseburger.”

“And I distinctly remember you not disagreeing with me.” Dean admitted defeat.

“Fine. What’s your guilty pleasure show?”

“I really don’t have one. I don’t watch TV. I can’t sit still long enough.”

“Come on, dude. Not even a half-hour sitcom?” Cas shook his head. “Hoo, boy. I’m gonna find something we can watch together. Something that’ll actually hold your attention.”

“You really don’t have to.”

“No, I need to. We need to have a binge show we can watch on my off days.”

“If it’s really that important to you I’m not gonna stop you from trying. In the meantime, why don’t we do something we both enjoy?” Cas set his sketchbook on the coffee table and pulled Dean into a searing kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be Tuesday
> 
> Love you guys! Feel free to drop a comment. I live for feedback! 💕💕


	39. Chapter 39

“Twenty-four days until Christmas, bitches! This is the first Christmas I’m spending with another person, so please please please help me pick a present for Dean. The poll is up on the website, and holiday requests are open all month long. The cheesier the better. Also, I keep getting requests for more pictures of me and Dean together. I post what I can, but he’s a private person and I have to respect that. Sorry, guys. I know we’re adorable.” Cas smiled and turned the video camera off.

He had always loved Christmas time, but this year was extra special because he actually had someone to celebrate with. He turned on his Christmas playlist and went over the list he was making for Gabriel. He knew he wouldn’t get a single thing that was on it, but it was a tradition. Every year, two weeks before Christmas, they would exchange lists. It was really more of a contest to see who come up with the most outrageous thing. Cas was the reigning champion. The front door unlocked and Cas heard the unmistakable sound of Dean’s boots.

“Hey, babe!”

“Oh my, God, you’re one of those people,” Dean said as he sat next to Cas on the floor. He turned off the Christmas music. “We don’t do that until one week before Christmas.” Cas pouted.

“Fine.” He pulled up his Instagram. “I’m changing my theme for Christmas, and I need a new profile picture. Take one with me?”

“Let me guess, something cheesy, like us in Santa hats, kissing under mistletoe?” Cas grinned.

“Great idea!” Dean groaned. “Come on, have a little fun once in a while! It’ll be cute! And everyone wants more pictures of us anyway.”

“Why?”

“Because we’re cute and in love. People like that.”

“People are weird.”

“So will you take the picture with me, or not?”

“You know I will, but I don’t have to be happy about it.”

“That’s the spirit! Give me a minute.” Cas got off the floor, kissed Dean on the head, then went into their room. He dug around in the bottom of the dresser until he found what he was looking for. A few weeks ago he was walking past a department store having a flash sale, so he bought matching Christmas pajamas for Dean and himself. He was saving them for Christmas morning, but they would be perfect for the picture.

“Oh, hell no.” Dean shook his head. “No, Cas. Absolutely not. I draw the line at matching outfits.”

“Humor me.”

“No.” Cas smirked and dropped to his knees in front of his boyfriend. He touched his lips to the shell of Dean’s ear.

“Humor me and I’ll do that thing you like with my mouth.”

“Shut up?” Cas started laughing and fell over onto Dean.

“Jackass. Just do this for me. Please?” He gave Dean his puppy dog eyes.

“Oh, no, don’t do that. Please don’t do that.” Cas whimpered a little and Dean pushed him over. “Fine, you win.” Cas stayed on his back on the floor a second too long. Dean pinned him down and kissed him hard. “I’m gonna make you pay for this, Novak. Count on it.” Cas smirked.

“I look forward to it, Winchester.” Dean let Cas up. They changed into the red and green striped pajamas, and Cas dug a piece of mistletoe and a couple Santa hats out of his box of Christmas decorations. He hung up some garland, some lights, and the mistletoe. He set his camera on a timer and pulled Dean into a gentle, loving kiss. He took a few pictures until he got the perfect one.

“Are we done?” Cas pecked Dean’s cheek.

“Yes, we’re done. You’re free to live in your sweatpants.” Cas kept the pajamas on and sat on the couch. He added a few special effects to the picture before he uploaded it. Dean sprawled on the couch, resting his head on Cas’s lap. “Can I help you?”

“Kiss me.” Cas folded his arms.

“And why would I wanna do that?”

“Because I’m cute and vulnerable.”

“Yes, you are.” Cas combed his fingers through Dean’s hair. Dean closed his eyes and hummed quietly. Cas waited until he was sure Dean was in his own little world before he bent his head and kissed his nose. Dean squirmed a little.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Oh, you want a real kiss?”

“Yes, please.” Cas broke and started laughing. He bent his head again, and this time Dean met him half way. They kissed like that until Cas’s phone pinged. He picked it up and checked the notification.

“I’m getting holiday requests already. Can you hand me my sketchbook?” Dean reached over and picked Cas’s book up off the coffee table. “Oh, and so far everyone loves my new profile picture. Can I have a pencil?”

“You do have arms, don’t you?”

“Yes, and I would get up and get everything myself, but you’re laying on me. So you’d have to move either way.” Cas kicked his feet up on the coffee table and set his sketchbook on Dean’s chest. Dean picked up the remote and turned on the TV.

“What’s your favorite Christmas memory?” Dean asked after a while. He sat upright. Cas frowned.

“Ooh. I don’t have too many of those. Um…I guess it would have to be when I was ten. Michael, Raphael, and Anna were the only ones who got presents, so Gabe swiped our dad’s credit card while he was “working” and bought me a bunch of toys. He hid them in a box in the back of the shed for me so no one else would find them.” Dean held Cas tightly.

“I’m sorry, Cas.”

“It’s okay. I’m past it.” Cas smiled. “What about you?”

“Um…I’d have to say when I was four. It was Sam’s first Christmas. Our mom dressed him in this cute little elf outfit.” Dean chuckled. “He looked so cute.”

“He hates when you tell that story, doesn’t he?”

“Of course, but I tell it anyway. What are big brothers for?”

“Gabe’s the worst about stuff like that. I don’t even wanna know the embarrassing stuff he’s told you about me.”

“You really don’t.” Dean kissed the top of Cas’s head. “Is it okay if we spend Christmas at Charlie’s? She’s got this whole big thing she does and she said, quote, “Don’t think you’re getting out of this just because you have a boyfriend, Winchester.” I told her I’d have to run it by you, but I don’t think she’ll take no for answer.” Cas laughed.

“Aw, Dean, are you scared of Charlie?”

“No, Cas, I’m terrified of her. She’s a five-foot-five firecracker of a woman and she could kick my ass without breaking a sweat.” Cas laughed harder.

“Fine. I don’t really care where we spend Christmas, as long as I’m with you.” Dean smiled and leaned in for a kiss.

“One more question. Why did you buy a giant inflatable rainbow flamingo wearing sunglasses and a lei?” Cas broke into a grin.

“That’s my gag gift for Gabe. Ever since we were able to buy our own stuff we’ve had this contest to see who could give the craziest present. I’ve won every single year so far.”

“You two are ridiculous.”

“Oh, come on, I’m sure you and Sam have some weird Christmas traditions.”

“Not really, but holidays weren’t really a whole lot of fun at our house after our mom died. Dad was always drunk and I spent most of my time shielding Sammy from his drunken rages. I did the best I could, but by the time I was making enough money to buy actual presents I was spending most of it on alcohol, and Bobby was spending his money keeping food on the table for us.” Dean fell silent. Cas could feel the guilt radiating off him. He hugged his boyfriend.

“Sam doesn’t hold any of that against you.”

“I know he doesn’t, but he should. He’s my little brother. I was supposed to look after him and instead I just completely screwed him out of a childhood.”

“I don’t think he sees it that way. Look at where you two are now. Sam’s in law school and you’re running the garage. You guys turned out just fine. Nobody’s life is perfect, and some people are dealt shittier hands than others, but who we were doesn’t define who we are. You’re a good man, Dean Winchester. I wish I could help you see that.” Dean didn’t say anything. He returned to his laying down position and looked at the TV. Cas decided not to push. He picked up his sketchpad and got back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be tomorrow!


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meant to update this earlier, but I got caught up watching Supernatural with a friend. Oh well. Enjoy!

“Merry Christmas!” Dean groaned and looked at the clock.

“Six AM.”

“Come on, get up!”

“No,” Dean grumbled into his pillow. He felt the bed dip and Cas pressed his lips against his neck. “Hey, that’s not fair.”

“Get up.”

“No!” Cas wrapped himself around Dean and kissed every bit of exposed skin that he could reach. Dean sighed and rolled over to face him. “You’re a bitch, you know that?” Cas grinned.

“You love me.”

“Unfortunately, yes I do.” Dean kissed him. “All right, I’m up. You making breakfast?”

“Sure. If you like everything burnt beyond recognition.”

“You are a disaster of a human being, Cas.”

“Thanks!” Cas grabbed Dean’s arm and dragged him out of bed. Dean followed begrudgingly. He knew he had to get up. They had to be over at Charlie’s by nine and he was going to need a few cups of coffee before he interacted with the world. In the kitchen, Cas started messing with his camera.

“If you took any stupid holiday pictures of me while I was sleeping I _will_ break your camera.”

“Then you _will_ be buying me a new one.” Dean smiled, but didn’t say anything. He had actually already bought Cas a new camera. He had been wanting one for a while, but he was worried about it costing too much. It _was_ a little on the expensive side, but Dean knew it would be worth it when he saw the look on Cas’s face.

“Is that my shirt?” Dean asked as Cas set a plate of semi-edible food in front of him. Cas looked down at the shirt he was wearing then shrugged.

“Probably. It’s soft and it smells like you and it was the first thing I grabbed when I opened the dresser. Don’t worry, I’m gonna change before we go over to Charlie’s. I wanna look good when we take pictures.”

“And you’ve already decided what both of us are wearing, right?” Cas shrugged sheepishly. Dean shook his head. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I’m an artist!”

“I know and you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t make a big deal out of everything.” Dean and Cas ate breakfast in a comfortable silence, then Dean went to go take a shower. When he got out, he dried off, tied the towel around his waist, and went into the bedroom. Cas pulled out the clothes he had decided they should wear.

“Okay, this isn’t so bad,” Dean said, pulling the red and green argyle sweater over his head.

“You look cute.” Cas pecked his lips, then smiled. “Merry Christmas, Dean.”

“Merry Christmas, Cas.”

“This is officially my best Christmas ever.” Dean brushed their lips together in a soft kiss.

“Come on, we’re gonna be late.”

“You always say that and we’re never late.”

“That’s because I make sure we’re on time!” Cas rolled his eyes and grabbed the bag that had all their presents in it. They did make it to Charlie’s before nine, but only just barely.

“Merry Christmas!” Charlie hugged Dean tightly. “Aw, you guys are wearing matching sweaters! How cute!”

“Shut up.” Dean kissed the top of Charlie’s head. “Merry Christmas, kiddo. Sam and Gabe here yet?”

“They got here an hour ago. What took you guys so long?”

“Dean was doing that thing where he oversleeps and then rushes me out the door like us being late is my fault,” Cas said with a grin.

“I did _not_ oversleep. You take ten years in the shower and another ten years trying to find all your stuff in that mess.”

“It’s not a mess! It’s organized chaos!”

“Must you two argue? It’s Christmas,” Gilda said from the kitchen. She and Charlie were wearing matching plaid pajamas.

“We’re just messing with each other,” Dean said. To prove his point, he kissed Cas on the cheek.

“Where do we put presents?” Cas asked after returning the kiss. Charlie started to giggle.

“In the living room.”

“Why are you laughing?”

“Oh, you’ll see.” Dean was as intrigued as he was nervous. Charlie was devious and her surprises weren’t always fun. He and Cas walked into the living room. They stopped dead in their tracks and burst out laughing.

“Oh, bite me,” Gabriel hissed. “It was his idea.” Sam grinned.

“Guilty.” Sam was dressed in a Santa costume that was a few sizes too big and was sporting a very thick fake beard. It was clearly a last-minute rental, but that wasn’t the best part. The best part was Gabriel decked out in green and red from head to toe, the curly shoes on his feet, and the hat with the bell on it. Dean caught his breath first.

“Dude, what the fuck?”

“I thought it would be fun,” Sam said, giving his brother a warm hug. “Gabe wanted to be Santa, but…I’m too tall to be an elf. It would’ve looked weird. Besides, I think he looks cute.”

“I look like an idiot. Cas, stop!” Dean looked over and realized Cas was taking pictures.

“Oh, come on, it’s fun. One day you’re gonna look back on this and laugh.”

“Not in this lifetime,” Gabriel said.

“We should make this a tradition,” Dean said. “As ridiculous as you both look, it’s actually pretty cool.” He didn’t add that he thought all their kids would enjoy it one day. That conversation was way in the future. The thought made him smile, though.

“I’ve got hot chocolate and cookies,” Charlie said, placing a tray on the coffee table. “Now, presents first, or breakfast first?” Presents was the unanimous choice. Sam and Gabriel handed out all the boxes, then they all took turns unwrapping.

“You’re up, Cas,” Gabriel said after chucking his inflatable rainbow flamingo at his brother.

“I can’t decide what to open first.” He picked up the package from Dean and shook it. Dean winced.

“Careful, you’re gonna break it.” Cas raised an eyebrow.

“Breakable usually means expensive.” Dean shrugged, but couldn’t keep the grin off his face. Cas ripped open the box. “Oh my, God. Dean…oh my, God.”

“What is it?” Charlie whined. Cas took the camera out of the box. Charlie gasped.

“Oh, it’s beautiful. I’ve always wanted one of these, but they’re so expensive.”

“I know.” Cas looked at Dean. “How did you afford this?”

“I’ve been saving up since you pointed it out to me. It’s the only thing I’ve seen you really want for more than a week, so I figured it was important.” Cas crawled across the floor and pulled Dean into a heated kiss. Dean immediately forgot that they weren’t alone until Sam cleared his throat loudly.

“Would you two mind _not_ doing that right now?”

“I love you,” Cas said against Dean’s lips as they pulled out of the kiss.

“I love you, too.”

“Yeah, yeah, go be cute somewhere else,” Charlie said. “It’s my turn.” Dean rolled his eyes. After the number of times he had walked in on Charlie and Gilda making out, this was just a drop in the bucket. Charlie opened the gift from Cas first.

“Is this an adult coloring book?”

“I thought it might help you calm down,” Cas said, “and also help you learn how to color inside the lines.” Everyone laughed.

“Dean, your boyfriend is a bitch.”

“I’m aware. Sam, your turn. Open mine first.” Sam picked up the slender package and squinted.

“If you got me porn, I swear to God.”

“Relax, Sammy, just open it.” Sam pulled off the paper and opened the box.

“Dean, why did you buy me a tie?”

“Because I’m proud of you and I want you to wear it on your first day in court when you become a lawyer.” Sam smiled.

“And the watch?”

“What kind of lawyer would you be if you were late all the time?” Sam smiled more.

“Thanks. I’ll wear them every day.”

“You mean that?”

“Of course.” Sam stood up and gave Dean a bear hug. “Thank you, for believing in me all these years.” Dean held his brother tightly for a minute.

“All right, cut the sappy shit,” Gabriel said. “I want breakfast.”

“We’re not done opening presents,” Charlie pouted.

“We’ve all opened one. We can eat and then open the rest of the gifts.” Charlie smiled at her girlfriend. Gilda was and always would be the voice of reason in their group. As everyone wandered into the kitchen, Dean hung back for a minute. Cas frowned slightly.

“Everything all right, Dean?”

“Perfect,” Dean smiled softly, “Absolutely perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be tomorrow!
> 
> Feel free to drop a comment! They always make me smile!


	41. Chapter 41

Cas stared at his phone. The sixteen unanswered calls to Dean stared back. He felt like they were taunting him. A little over a month ago, Dean had been fine. Things were going smoothly. Until today. It was closing in on one in the morning and Cas hadn’t heard from his boyfriend since before he left for work.

At first, he didn’t think anything of it. Maybe he had gone out with Gabriel and forgotten to call. By nine he was starting to worry. After three unanswered calls, he called his brother. Gabriel hadn’t seen Dean since they closed the garage. Panic began to set in around ten when three more calls went unanswered. Three hours and ten calls later, Cas was contemplating calling the police. Just as the clock struck one, his phone rang in his hand, startling him. His heart raced until he looked at the screen.

“Anything?”

“Nothing,” Sam sighed.

“Is it at all possible that maybe his phone just died?” Cas asked.

“I don’t think so, Cas. Dean doesn’t let his phone die in case there’s an emergency. And the calls aren’t going straight to voicemail. So either he lost his phone, or he’s ignoring us.”

“And it’s too much to hope that he just lost his phone, isn’t it?”

“Probably. I’ve got Gabe and Charlie out looking for him. Stay there in case he shows up. I’ll stay here in case he comes here. We’ll find him.”

“I hope so,” Cas said almost to himself.

It was another two hours before Dean turned up. A little past three, Cas, who hadn’t slept at all, heard a key turn in the lock. Dean walked in looking perfectly normal.

“Hey, Cas.”

“Dean, where the hell were you?” Then the smell hit him. Dean reeked of whiskey. “How much did you drink?”

“Like, two glasses, _relax_.” There it was. It was subtle, but Cas heard the slur in Dean’s words. He crossed his arms.

“Don’t lie to me, Dean.” Dean chuckled.

“You’re cute when you’re grumpy.”

“I’m not grumpy, I’m pissed!” Cas snapped. “This isn’t funny. You disappeared for hours, you ignored everyone’s calls, and now you’re trying to act like it’s not a big deal.”

“It’s not, Cas. I went out, I had a little fun, I came home. End of story.”

“Who were you with?” Dean chuckled again.

“No one, so you don’t need to be jealous. I’m all yours.” Cas rolled his eyes. Dean wasn’t listening, which wasn’t out of the ordinary.

“Dean, sit down and talk to me.”

“But talking is so _boring_ ,” Dean complained, flopping down on the couch beside his boyfriend.

“Where were you?”

“Out.”

“Where?”

“Bar.”

“With?”

“No one.”

“What were you doing?”

“Having fun. God, you’re such a buzzkill, Cas! Come on, you’re mad and I’m drunk. Take advantage of me.” Cas blinked. At the moment, sex was the furthest thing from his mind. He just wanted Dean to give him a straight answer.

“What? No. I’m not in the mood and you’re in no condition to give proper consent anyway.”

“ _Cas_ ,” Dean whined, “ _please_?”

“No.”

“Why not? Since when do _you_ not want sex?”

“Since my boyfriend came home eight hours late, drunk, and won’t tell me where he was or what he was doing.”

“I told you. I was out at a bar having fun.”

“So why didn’t you bother to call!? Or answer any of my calls!? Or Sam’s!? Or Gabe’s or Charlie’s!? You can’t go radio silence like that and then expect me to just be okay with it!” Cas didn’t mean to yell, he really didn’t, but he was reaching his breaking point. Dean had been doing so well and Cas couldn’t understand why he was backsliding again. If anything had happened, Gabriel would’ve called him, which meant whatever was going on with Dean was in his head. Dean narrowed his eyes and stood up from the couch.

“You know what, fine, Cas. If you don’t wanna fuck me, I’ll go find someone who will. This city’s full of people looking for an easy lay.” In the time it took Cas to process the words, Dean had made it to the door. That was it. That was his breaking point. He stood up just as Dean opened the door.

“Dean Winchester, if you walk out that door, this relationship is over.” He didn’t mean it, of course he didn’t, but he hoped it was enough of a threat to get Dean to stop. Dean stared at him for a minute before walking out, slamming the door behind him. Cas sat back down on the couch, numb with shock. He should run after him. He knew that, but he couldn’t move. He did the only other thing he could think of. He pulled out his phone and called Sam.

“Hey, did you find him?”

“I…Sam, I really fucked up.”

“Why? Cas, what happened?”

“Dean came home,” Cas glanced at the time, “about thirty minutes ago.” He recounted everything that had happened from the time Dean walked in the door to the time he walked back out. When he was finished, Sam was quiet for a minute. “Sam?”

“Sorry, I’m thinking.” He let out a sigh. “Okay. I’ll have Gabe and Charlie check all the bars and clubs. I’ll try to call him again. Stay there just in case he comes to his senses and comes back. I’ll be over in a few minutes.”

“Thank you, Sam, but that’s not necessary. I’m okay.”

“No, you’re not. I’m not gonna get any sleep tonight anyway and you shouldn’t be alone. I can bring my books and get some studying done. I’ll see you in about twenty minutes.” Cas smiled.

“Okay. I appreciate it.”

“Of course, Cas.” They hung up and Cas pulled Maggie into his lap. She tilted her head and whined a little. Cas scratched behind her ears.

“I’m okay, sweetie.” Maggie put her front paws on his chest and licked the tears sliding down his cheeks. He kissed her forehead, then hugged her close to him. “He’ll be back, right?” Maggie barked once. Cas smiled a little. “Thanks, Maggie.” He held her a little tighter. Not enough to hurt her, but just enough to know she was there.

Cas’s heart lurched at the thought that Dean might not come back. He hadn’t felt pain like this since Meg, and he loved Dean even more than he had loved her. He was petrified that he would never see him again. He took out his phone and shot Dean a text.

**Cas [3:52am]:** Dean I’m sorry. Please come home so we can talk about this. I love you and I know you love me too. Don’t do something stupid. Please.

Cas stared at his phone. He wasn’t expecting a reply, but he was hopeful. Even if Dean just told him to fuck off, at least he would know he was alive. That was all he needed at the moment. Just to know that Dean was alive. If he needed space, Cas was willing to give him that. Whatever had happened was clearly messing with Dean’s head and that wasn’t something he could help with. All he could do was try to be there for him. A knock at the door made him jump.

“Hello, Sam.”

“Are you okay?”

“Not really. And I’m sorry for bothering you with this.” Sam shook his head.

“You aren’t bothering me. He’s my brother. I worry about him.”

“I do, too.” They sat on the couch. Maggie sniffed Sam for a minute before deciding she liked him and curled up in his lap. Sam began to pet her gently.

“Dean does love you, ya know. Gabe says he talks about you all the time at work. I don’t know what happened today, but I’m sure you guys can work through it.” Sam made eye contact with Cas. “I mean, if that’s what you want. I completely understand if you wanna forget you ever met him.”

“Never. Your brother is a handful, but I love him. Whatever he’s going through, I wanna help him.”

“You’re a saint, but I don’t think either of us can help him. He got a lot put on him when we were younger. I really think he needs to see a therapist.”

“I don’t disagree. The challenge there would be getting him to go.”

“I’ll talk to him when he gets back.”

“If he comes back.” Sam put his hand on Cas’s arm.

“He’ll be back. I can’t tell you when, but he will. I promise.” Cas smiled, but he didn’t believe it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be Wednesday!


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I meant to update this a LOT earlier, but apparently buying a car takes all fucking day so here we are. Hope you all enjoy!

Dean ignored another call from Sam. He let it ring through before shutting off his phone completely. It was better that way. No interruptions. He cut Baby’s engine and got out. He stopped just outside the gates. He took a deep, calming breath before walking through. The air felt colder somehow. He ignored the chill as he walked along, scanning the rows. He stopped when he found what he was looking for. He swallowed before he knelt on the ground. He cleared his throat.

“Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad. It’s Dean. I know it’s been a while and I’m sorry about that. I’m also sorry Sammy isn’t here. He misses you guys, too. He’s having a great time in California though. He’s in law school and he’s living with his boyfriend. Guess I probably should’ve let him tell you about that, but I think he probably won’t care now. So yeah, Sammy’s dating a guy named Gabriel. I was dating his brother until a few days ago. Some things happened, it’s not important. I really just came here to tell you that…I’m back. Sam doesn’t need me and Bobby…Bobby died a few months back, so there’s really nothing out there for me anymore.

“Dad, I know you told me to always look out for Sammy. I did that. He’s a grownup now. Hell, he’s more grown up than I am most of the time. He’ll be fine. You’d be proud of him, I think. Me, probably not so much. I’m trying though. That’s why I came back. I’m trying to start over. I’m trying to be the son you, both of you, always wanted me to be.” Dean wiped the tears from his eyes. “I love you both. I’ll be back again when I can tell you something good.” He got to his feet and walked back to his car. It had been years since Dean had visited his parents’ graves. It was bittersweet. He missed them, but he also realized that if they were still alive they would be incredibly disappoint in him. He started Baby and drove into town. It was like he had never left. Everything was exactly the same, including the hiring sign in the window of his favorite diner. That’s what he had been looking for. He parked and went in.

“Welcome to Missouri’s!” A female voice called from the back. “I’ll be right with you!”

“Take your time!” Dean called back, smirking when he heard the sound of something shattering against the floor. A moment later two people came running up front. Cassie was the first one to speak.

“Dean!” She ran around the counter and hugged him. Dean hugged her back.

“Hey, Cassie. I missed you.”

“Sure you did. What are you doing here?”

“I’m back.”

“Like, permanently?” Ash asked. He was still standing behind the counter, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Yup.”

“Where’s Sam?”

“He’s still out in Cali. He’s a grownup now and I missed this place.”

“Bull,” a third voice said. Dean grinned.

“Hey, Pamela. Ya know, it’d be nice if you didn’t call me on my shit immediately. Let me live in my fantasy worlds for a little while.”

“Sorry. But seriously, what’s going on?” The bell above the door jingled.

“Dean Winchester. I thought that was your car.”

“Hi, Missouri.” Dean went for a hug and was met with a slap.

“Boy, what are you doing here?”

“That’s what we’ve been trying to figure out,” Cassie said. Before Dean could answer his phone started ringing, reminding him that he had turned it back on. He took it out of his pocket. Sam’s name flashed across the screen again he sighed.

“Give me a minute, guys.” He answered his phone. “Leave me alone, Sam.”

“Dean, thank god. Where the fuck are you?”

“Lawrence.”

“What?”

“I went home, Sammy.”

“Why?”

“Because,” Dean swallowed, “what’s the point? Mom’s dead, Dad’s dead, Bobby’s dead, you don’t need me anymore, and Cas doesn’t want me anymore. There was no point in me staying. So I went home. You don’t need me dragging you down. You’re gonna pass the bar and become some hotshot lawyer, but not if you keep putting everything on hold because of me.”

“Dean, we’ve all been worried sick. Cas is going out of his mind.” Dean fought back tears.

“That’s my point, Sam. You’re all better off without me. Cas is too. He’ll figure it out soon enough.”

“Dean, I know that’s not you talking. You’re drunk.”

“I’m actually not. I haven’t had a drink since I got here.” Dean was crying now. He couldn’t stop it. He missed his little brother, but he knew he’d done the right thing in leaving. “I saw Mom and Dad’s graves. It made me realize just how disappointed they’d be in their screwup son.”

“You’re not a screwup, Dean. Please come back. We can work through this.”

“I’m staying here. Don’t call me anymore, Sam. Tell everyone else that, too. You’re all better off just forgetting me.” Dean hung up before Sam could say anything else. His phone started ringing immediately. He turned it off again.

“Boy, you better not be serious,” Missouri said.

“Who’s Cas?” Ash asked.

“Did you start drinking again?” Cassie asked.

“One thing at a time, please.” Dean sat at the counter. Cassie sat beside him. Ash, Pamela, and Missouri gathered around the counter. “All right. I should start at the beginning.” Dean spent the next two hours telling his old friends everything that had happened from the moment he first met Cas right up to when he had walked into the diner. “It’s better this way,” he ended, “Sam can pass his bar and marry Gabe if he wants, and Cas’ll find someone else. He always does. They don’t need me.”

“Boy, you need to get it in that thick head of yours that love has nothing to do with need,” Missouri said. “Maybe they don’t need you, which is bull, but they want you because they love you.”

“All I do is bring them down. I’m a burden.”

“You’re family, Dean,” Pamela said. “Family looks out for each other. Your brother misses you. Sounds like Cas misses you, too. And I’m sure your friends miss you.”

“They only think that because they haven’t had this much breathing room. They’ll realize their lives are easier without me and they’ll move on.” Cassie punched his arm.

“You stop that. Anyone who’s lucky enough to know you knows that you’re the kindest, sweetest, most caring man on the planet.”

“Now you sound like Cas. None of you were there.”

“We were the first time,” Ash pointed out. Dean moved his eyes to the counter. He would never forget that. He had put all his friends and family through hell once before because of his drinking. Then he’d gone and done it all over again.

“We’ve missed you,” Pamela said, “but you need to go back to your brother. You need to talk to Cas.”

“I can’t. Cas said if I walked out that door then our relationship was over. I walked out anyway. I was drunk, but I can’t take it back. There’s nothing I can do to make this better. I’m here now and I’d like to stay. I’d also like a job if any of you’re feeling generous.” Pamela and Missouri traded a silent look.

“We’re looking for an opener. If you can be here by six the job is yours.” Dean smiled.

“Thanks, Pamela. I’ll be here first thing tomorrow morning.” He left the diner feeling better than he had when he walked in. He was about to get into Baby when Ash ran outside.

“Hey, where are you staying?” Dean actually hadn’t thought about that.

“Probably just crash at the motel.”

“Nah, stay with me. I’ve been looking for a roommate for a while.”

“You sure?”

“Yup.”

“All right, then. Thanks.”

“You remember where it is?”

“Yeah. I’ll see ya later, Ash. Thanks again.”

“See ya, man.” Ash went back inside and Dean drove the familiar route to his apartment. Ash had been living in the same shitty apartment since their junior year of high school. It wasn’t much, but Dean had spent countless nights passed out on the sofa, or playing videos games with Ash until the sun came up. Ash had been Dean’s best friend right up until he moved to California with Bobby and Sam. Dean always regretted not staying in touch, but he hated the way he left things. With Ash and everyone else.

Dean walked up the three flights of stairs and found the spare key under the grungy doormat. He unlocked the door and went in. Nothing had changed. He kicked back on the couch and turned on the TV. He took his phone out of his pocket and powered it back on. He had about sixty missed calls from various people and over a hundred unread messages. He shook his head sadly. His friends would realize soon enough that they were better off without him. He just had to wait it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be Sunday!


	43. Chapter 43

Cas looked at the woman sitting across the table from him. She was babbling on and on about something he wasn’t paying attention to. It had been two months since anyone had heard from Dean and Cas got the message loud and clear. Move on. That was easier said than done. He was on his fifth date in five days (courtesy of Gabriel, who claimed he was trying to help) and he felt nothing. He just wanted to see Dean again. Hear his voice, touch his skin.

“I have to go,” he said and abruptly stood up from the table. “I’m sorry.” He bolted out the door. The fresh air helped a little, but it wasn’t what he needed. He wandered around until his feet brought him to Charlie’s. He knocked on the door.

“Hey, Cas, thought you had a date tonight?”

“Bailed,” was all he said as he fell onto the couch. Charlie gave him a sympathetic smile. She sat next to him and ran her fingers soothingly through his hair.

“I’m sorry. I know this isn’t easy, but you’ll get over him.”

“I don’t wanna get over him,” Cas said before he realized that he sounded exactly like every single one of his exes. For the first time in six years, he remembered how much it hurt when someone he loved left without a proper explanation. He started to cry. He had been doing that a lot lately. Charlie didn’t say a word. She just ran her fingers through his hair over and over again, her nails scratching lightly against his scalp. It calmed him a little.

“Do you need anything?” She asked when Cas could speak again. He shook his head.

“Just…can I stay here tonight?”

“Gilda’s working late at the hospital. Why don’t I stay with you? You need to be with Maggie.”

“Would you?”

“Of course. If you don’t feel like you can be alone then I won’t leave you alone.”

“Thank you. I’m sorry I’m such a mess.”

“You don’t have to apologize for being in love, Cas. Dean is a like a brother to me, but the way he left was a dick move. You have every right to be upset.” Charlie stood and held out her hand. “Come on. We can eat junk food and talk about art. Maybe that’ll help.” Cas smiled.

“I’d like that.” Charlie packed a bag, left a note for Gilda, they stopped by a store to pick up all the sugar their bodies could handle, and an hour later Cas was feeling marginally better. He popped a gummy bear into his mouth.

“That is _not_ a bird, Cas. That is a squiggle.”

“You gave me thirty seconds! It’s a Bob Ross bird and it’s valid!” Charlie giggled.

“Fine, fair enough. My turn. Give me an animal and a time limit.” Cas thought for a minute.

“All right. Tiger head in two minutes. Go!”

“You’re a bitch,” Charlie muttered as her pencil flew over the paper. Cas watched the timer on his phone.

“Time!” He called two minutes later. Charlie threw her pencil down.

“I hate this game.”

“You love this game, you just hate me. Come on, let me see it.” Charlie turned her pad around and Cas curled up on the floor laughing.

“Charlie, what the fuck?”

“I did my best.”

“No, you didn’t. That’s a potato with two cartoon eyes and a stick-figure nose.” Charlie narrowed her eyes.

“I’d like to see you do better.”

“Challenge accepted. Start the clock.” Two minutes later, Cas’s drawing was miles better.

“You’re right,” Charlie pouted, “I hate you.”

“Aw, come on. Photographs and graphic design are more your thing. I mean, the website for Moondoor is amazing.”

“Yeah. I just wish I had my trusty handmaiden to help me in battle.”

“I know.” Charlie wiped the tears from her eyes.

“I’m sorry, we’re supposed to be here for you tonight.”

“No, it’s fine. I know you loved him as much as I did. He abandoned all of us. You’re allowed to be upset. Tonight isn’t about making me feel better. It’s about being here for each other when we need it. Come here.” Charlie crawled across the floor and into Cas’s warm hug. He kissed her forehead. “Why don’t we see what Sam and Gabe are doing? Maybe they’ll wanna hang out with us.” Cas took out his phone and dialed. Gabriel picked up after the second ring.

“You’re supposed to be on a date.”

“Yeah, I bailed on that. Stop trying to set me up. I told you I’m not ready to move on and I mean it.”

“Come on, Cas. I thought moving on was easy for you?”

“How long did it take for Meg, Gabe? How long?” His brother was quiet for a minute before saying softly,

“Four months and sixteen days.”

“Right. Well, I love Dean more than I ever loved Meg, so you can’t expect me to just get over this.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry. Why are you calling me?”

“Wanted to see if you and Sam were up for hanging out with me and Charlie. We could use the company.” There was muffled chatter on the other end then Gabriel said,

“Sure. We’ll be over in ten.”

“Great. See ya.” Cas hung up. “They’ll be here soon. You wanna watch something?” Charlie frowned.

“I thought you hated TV?”

“I do, but after living with Dean for almost a year, I’ve figured out how to watch TV without sitting the whole time. Wanna watch?”

“Sure. Do you like _Friends_?”

“Haven’t seen it.” Charlie blinked.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I haven’t seen it.”

“Dean never sat you down and forced you to watch _Friends_?”

“No…”

“Unacceptable. Sit.” Cas got off the floor and sat on the couch. He was a little scared. Charlie was popping popcorn and mixing M&Ms with a can of cashews when there was a knock at the door. “I got it. You stay.” Cas tucked his feet underneath himself, curling into a ball. He wrapped Dean’s blanket around himself.

“Well, you look like shit,” Gabriel said, sitting beside him. “You okay, Cas?”

“Been better. Also been worse. Charlie’s been keeping me occupied.”

“I’m so sorry he did this to you,” Sam said. Cas smiled warmly.

“Stop apologizing, Sam. This isn’t your fault. Dean made his choice.”

“I know, but the next time I see him I’m gonna slap him as hard as I can for you. He was a dick to you.”

“All right, all right, no more talking about Dean,” Charlie said, “starting now.” She pushed Gabriel out of the way and cuddled against Cas.

“Hey, that’s my brother!”

“Yeah, well, he’s my friend and you aren’t helping him. I am. Now, we’re watching _Friends_ and you’re shutting up.” Gabriel glared, but didn’t say anything. Charlie smirked before resting her head on Cas’s shoulder. Gabriel moved across the couch into Sam’s open arms.

“At least somebody around here loves me.”

“Love might be a strong word,” Sam said, pressing a kiss to his boyfriend’s temple. Gabriel pouted, but didn’t move. Cas watched them and felt a pang of longing. He missed Dean so much it physically hurt. He ignored the tears pricking his eyes. He wasn’t going to cry again. They were trying to help him feel better, so he was going to pretend he was. At least for the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be Wednesday


	44. Chapter 44

It took a few months, but Dean eventually settled into a routine. He got up in the morning, went to work, went home, and worked on Baby on his off days. He missed his brother, he missed his friends, he missed Cas, but he knew they were all better off. Everyone had completely quit trying to contact him weeks ago. That told him that they were moving on. That was good. He was making new friends and catching up with old ones, and all in all everything was perfectly fine.

Except that it wasn’t. Dean couldn’t remember a time in his life when he wasn’t with Sam, aside from rehab. His little brother had been his whole life. His sole reason for existence was to protect Sam. It felt weird not having him around. It felt off. Every single time his phone rang he expected it to be someone telling him something had happened to Sam. Something he should’ve been there to prevent.

And then there was Cas. Everything reminded Dean of Cas. Every time he saw a picture, or a camera, or the color blue, he thought of Cas. It hurt. He couldn’t shake the guilt. He never should’ve left the way he did, but he had to. It was for Cas’s own good. Cas had given him the definitive ultimatum. Dean had walked out that door knowing that it was exactly what Cas had wanted, whether Cas himself knew it or not. They had been happy, but their relationship wasn’t meant to last. They both knew that.

The little bell above the door jingled. Dean set down mug he was cleaning and turned around.

“Welcome to Missouri’s. How can I...Cas?” This happened to him a lot. He would be bored at work and get lost in a fantasy world where Cas tore ass to Kansas to try and get him back. He was always jolted back to reality before it got very far. Cas smiled softly.

“Hello, Dean.”

“Are you real?” Cas frowned a little, tilting his head to the side.

“Yes.”

“What are you doing here?” Dean kept his tone neutral to mask just how overjoyed he was to see Cas again. The last three months had been hell on him, but he couldn’t admit that. Not to the one person he had missed the most.

“Well, you refused to come home, so this was really my only option wasn’t it?”

“You need to leave.”

“Fine, but you’re coming with me.”

“No, Cas, I’m not. I’m better off here. You’re better off away from me.”

“I’m really not. I’ve spent the last three months missing you more than I’ve ever missed anyone. You blocked everyone’s numbers so none of us could get in touch with you. I didn’t know if you were dead or alive. I was scared.”

“Cas, the whole point of this was for you to move on. It’s not like it’s that hard for you.” The words left a bitter taste in Dean’s mouth, but they were true. Cas folded his arms over his chest.

“I wish you would stop saying that.”

“It’s true. If you had actually tried, you would already be with someone else by now.”

“I did try, Dean. I tried for a month. Once you made it clear you weren’t coming back and you didn’t wanna be contacted, I started dating again. I dated for almost a month.” Dean’s stomach was doing somersaults. Even though he had said it was what he wanted, a part of him had secretly hoped that Cas wouldn’t move on.

“So how many people have you fucked since I left?”

“None.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“Come on, Cas, don’t lie.”

“I’m not. I went on a few dates, but...we never made it any further than casual conversation.” Cas walked across the room until the only thing between them was the counter. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“You need to try harder.”

“Dean, I could go on a million dates. It wouldn’t make any difference. I’m in love with you. That kinda thing doesn’t just go away. At least, not for me.” Silence fell between them for a moment. Then, “Have you been dating?” Dean shook his head.

“Kinda focusing on myself right now. I left so I would stop burdening the people I love with all my bullshit. Figured there was no point in trying to find someone until I get myself together.”

“That’s admirable, but you aren’t burdening us. We want to help you.”

“No, you don’t. No ones actually wants to help people with this many problems. You just say you do because that’s what you’re supposed to say.”

“Dean, if you were really such a burden then why would I drive all the way to Kansas? I hate this state. It’s just corn and tornados. But I came here for you because you’re important to me, and I don’t like my life without you in it. So if you won’t come back to California with me, then I’m not going anywhere.”

“Cas, you need to leave.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re the one who ended this. I walked out that door, but you’re the one who didn’t give me a choice. I needed some air, but you made it so that if I left I couldn’t come back. That’s on you. I came here to give us both the space we needed to move on.”

“I didn’t mean what I said,” Cas said. “I was trying to stop you from leaving. I didn’t want you out there by yourself while you were like that. I never wanted to end our relationship. I love you.” Dean’s laugh was dry and humorless.

“Sure, Cas, but you love everyone. I’m not special and you know that.” Before Cas could say anything else, Dean’s coworkers came out of the kitchen. Cassie smiled.

“Who’s this?” Dean bit back a sigh. He had really been hoping to get Cas out before anyone realized they were talking.

“Cassie, Ash, Becky, Chuck, this is Cas. Cas, this is Cassie, Ash, Becky, and Chuck.”

“Nice to meet you guys,” Cas said.

“So you’re the famous Cas,” Cassie said. “It’s good to finally meet you. Dean talks about you all the time.”

“Does he?” Cas asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Don’t you guys have work or something to do?” Dean snapped. His friends chuckled, but went back into the kitchen. He knew they were all gathered around the door, listening. “If you’re insisting that we talk, you’re gonna have to wait until my shift is over.”

“That’s fine. I’m staying at the motel. Room 148.”

“Hey, how’d you get here anyway?” Dean asked just before Cas walked out the door. Cas smiled.

“I drove. You did give me a car, remember?” He disappeared out the door. Dean stared after him. A moment later he was hit on the back of the head.

“You’re an idiot,” Becky said.

“Ow. What?”

“He obviously still loves you,” Cassie said. “Why won’t you talk to him?”

“Because I’m doing what’s best for both of us.”

“No, you’re doing what’s best for you.” Dean glared at Chuck.

“No, I’m not.”

“Ya kinda are,” Ash agreed. “Cas is clearly crazy about you. Dude drove all the way from Cali just to beg you to come back, but you won’t go. You’re scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“Getting hurt,” Cassie said. “You’ve always been afraid of getting hurt so you try not to get emotionally attached to people. You can’t help it though. You’ve got a good heart, Dean, but you’re afraid of getting it broken. I know I hurt you when we broke up, and it sounds like Lisa dragged your entire life through the mud when she broke up with you. It’s natural to be scared that Cas’ll eventually do the same thing, but I don’t think he will.”

“You don’t _think_ , but you can’t know for sure. I can never know for sure.”

“That’s just a part of life,” Becky pointed out.

“If he didn’t love you he never would’ve driven all the way out here,” Ash repeated.

“You need to have a real conversation with him,” Chuck finished. Dean sighed. He hated it when his friends used logic and reason on him.

“Fine. After my shift, I’ll talk to him.”

“Promise,” Cassie insisted.

“I promise.”

So that’s what Dean did. After his shift, he stopped by the apartment to change, then went over to Cas’s motel room and knocked on the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be tomorrow!
> 
> Love you guys! 💕💕


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right guys, we're in the homestretch! Ten chapters to go! It's mostly fluff from here on out! Hope you all enjoy!

Cas paced the small motel room. He was a nervous wreck. He wasn’t entirely surprised by Dean’s reaction, but a small part of him had been hoping Dean would be happy to see him. Sam had told him it wasn’t a good idea, but he couldn’t stand it. He had to see Dean. Even if only to get closure. So he got in the Continental and he drove. He drove because he didn’t want to believe everything they had was gone just like that. He drove because he needed to find Dean and tell him just how much he meant to him. He drove because, for the first time in almost seven years, he was madly in love and he wasn’t going to let that go without a fight.

A sharp knock came at the door and Cas jumped. That had to be Dean. He took a deep breath to try and steady his pounding heart. It didn’t help. He pulled open the door. Dean was dressed in that one pair of jeans he had that was torn almost beyond recognition and the Led Zeppelin t-shirt that Cas had made a habit of stealing. Cas stared for longer than he should have, but he couldn’t help it. He’d thought he had every detail of Dean’s face memorized, but pictures and drawings just didn’t do it justice.

“You wanted to talk?” Dean said, jolting Cas out of his haze.

“Right.” He stepped back and let Dean in. Dean looked as nervous as Cas felt. “Dean, I know I can’t take back what I said. I was scared that you would hurt yourself and I didn’t think. I’m sorry that I hurt you. I’m sorry that I made you think that I don’t love you. I do. I was completely miserable without you.” Dean was quiet for a minute before he spoke.

“I wanna believe you. Every single part of me wants to believe you, but between my track record with relationships and your track record with…people in general, I don’t know if I can. I don’t fall in love easy because I don’t wanna get hurt. I let myself trust you not to hurt me and you did. I realize that I’m partly to blame for that, but…I don’t know where we go from here.” Cas sat down on the bed.

“Do you still love me?”

“Yes, but I don’t know if I trust you. Do you still love me?”

“Yes, but I think you need to talk to a therapist.”

“Why?”

“Because the way you cope with things isn’t healthy and I can’t keep trying to help you. It isn’t working and I don’t like having to walk on eggshells around you. You’re an amazing person, Dean, but when you drink…you scare me.” Cas waited for Dean to snap. He was expecting it. He was waiting for Dean to yell and storm out.

“Does Sam agree with you?”

“Yes.” Dean nodded. Cas could see him blinking back tears.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I don’t wanna keep putting my shit on you and Sammy. You mean too much to me.”

“Both of us?” Dean smiled weakly.

“Yes, dumbass. Both of you.” There was a pause and Cas was fighting the urge to go in for a kiss. They weren’t there yet. “Have you been updating your vlog?”

“Yeah. I couldn’t just go radio silence.”

“Did you tell everyone we broke up?” Cas shook his head.

“No. I just said you went back to Kansas indefinitely. Family stuff.”

“So…you didn’t think we were broken up?”

“I didn’t wanna believe that everything we had together was gone just like that. If I told my followers that would make it real.” Dean smiled a little more.

“So where do we go from here?”

“If you don’t mind, I would very much like to kiss you.” Dean finally smiled for real.

“I’d like that.” Cas wasted no time closing the distance between them. The kiss was soft, hesitant. Dean was receptive, but Cas was still nervous. They kissed for a few seconds before Dean pulled away. “What’s wrong, Cas?”

“Nothing, I just…are you sure we’re okay? I don’t wanna…I need to be sure.” Dean pulled him into another gentle kiss.

“We’re fine. I wasn’t in a good place the night I left. I don’t really remember what happened, I just remember being angry and feeling like you didn’t love me anymore. I stormed out thinking it was what you wanted. I shouldn’t’ve done that. I should’ve talked to you the next day when I was sober instead of leaving. I’m so sorry.” Cas wrapped Dean in a hug.

“It’s okay. I think you needed this. It gave you a chance to sober up without all of us breathing down your neck about it. I realize now that we weren’t helping you. We were making you anxious and paranoid. I’m sorry.”

“You’re not wrong, but I should’ve listened to you more instead of taking everything as an attack. You were trying to help and I was…I was a dick to you. I love you and I shouldn’t’ve treated you the way I did.” Cas took Dean’s hand.

“We were both at fault. We clearly need to work on communication.”

“Sam always said I had an issue with that.”

“Well, we can work on it. Together.” Dean studied Cas for a long minute, eye contact unwavering.

“You’re really not going anywhere.”

“No. I thought I would, eventually, but these last three months made me realize that I don’t like my life without you in it.”

“You can’t live without me?”

“No, I absolutely could, but if I have the option I would much rather have you with me.” Cas smiled softly. “I wanna make you the subject of every single one of my projects for the rest of my life. I want my most famous works to be of you.” Dean turned a crimson shade of red.

“Shut up,” he muttered.

“Learn to take a compliment, Winchester.”

“There’s a compliment and there’s saying shit like that. I’m not that special, Cas.”

“Not this again. Starting right now, I never wanna hear those words come out of your mouth again.”

“But-.”

“No. If I ever hear them again you won’t like the punishment.” Dean raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah?”

“It won’t be fun, Dean.”

“Fine. I’ll do my best.”

“I guess that’s all I can ask for.” Cas paused. “Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“After you left that night, you never came back, so how did you get your clothes?”

“You want the honest answer?”

“Yes.”

“After I left I thought you’d have me arrested if I tried to come back. I waited until you were out walking Maggie then slipped back in and packed my duffle. I was in and out in under ten minutes.” Cas chuckled and shook his head.

“You’re an idiot.”

“Gee, thanks, Cas.”

“You know what I mean. I would never have you arrested.”

“Well, how was I supposed to know? You seemed pretty pissed.”

“I wasn’t mad. I was never mad. I was scared. I didn’t wanna lose you.”

“I know and I’m gonna do everything I can to make it up to you.”

“Just stay sober.”

“I can do that.”

“And breakfast in bed once in a while might be nice.”

“Done. Anything else?”

“Never leave again. Please. I can’t do that again.”

“Never.” Dean sealed the promise with a kiss that Cas was more than happy to reciprocate. It was longer this time. Sweeter. Cas pulled away first.

“Now what?”

“Guess I quit my job and we head back to Cali.”

“Yeah?”

“Well I can’t very well keep you here and Sammy’s probably gonna wanna give me a few choice words. Charlie too. I might as well get it over with. The only issue I can see is how we’re gonna get back. We’ve got two cars and I don’t quite feel like being away from you for the drive back.”

“Guess I didn’t think about that,” Cas admitted.

“I might have an idea,” Dean said, “if you’re up for it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be Wednesday


	46. Chapter 46

Dean couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he walked into the diner, arm securely around Cas’ shoulders.

“Hey, you’re alive!” Becky said in greeting.

“I told you he didn’t kill him,” Chuck hissed.

“Ash got worried when you didn’t show up at the apartment last night,” Cassie explained. “He thought Cas killed you.” She smiled. “I’m guessing you two made up?”

“He can’t get rid of me that easy,” Cas said.

“So are you here to work or are you leaving us again?” Pamela asked.

“Leaving,” Dean confessed. “Sorry, guys, Cas belongs in California and I belong with him. I promise me and Sammy’ll come visit once he’s finished with law school and passes the bar.”

“You better, boy. We’re gonna miss you around here.”

“I’ll miss you guys, too. It was nice being back.” Dean gave everyone a hug before he pulled Ash aside. “You still looking for a car?”

“Yeah, why?” His eyes widened. “Wait, you’re not…not Baby?”

“Hell no. She’s mine, but we’ve got a ’76 Continental that we can’t take with us. Thought you might like it.”

“Color?”

“Blue.”

“It runs?”

“I fixed it up myself. It’s mint. Take good care of it and it’ll run for another forty years.”

“You’re for real?”

“We can only take one car back and I don’t leave Baby behind. The car’s yours if you want it, but only if you promise to take care of it. I put a lotta work into it.”

“I promise,” Ash said immediately. “Scouts honor.”

“You were hardly a boy scout, but all right. Come on, it’s at the motel. We’ll give you a lift.”

Thirty minutes later Baby was packed and Ash had the keys to the Continental.

“You’re absolutely sure about this?”

“Positive,” Cas assured him, “I love the car, but I don’t have any use for it. It should go to someone who’ll actually use it and Dean seems to trust you.”

“I don’t trust him at all,” Dean said with a laugh, “but he’ll keep it in good condition if he knows what’s good for him.”

“Love you, too,” Ash teased.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll tell Sam you said hi. Come on, Cas.” Dean gave Ash one last hug before he and Cas got into Baby. Cas reached for the radio and Dean slapped his hand on instinct. “Sorry, force of habit. Go ahead.”

“No, it’s okay. Your car, your rules.”

“It’s fine, Cas. We like the same music and…it’s our car.” Cas gave him a long look.

“That’s…okay.” Dean didn’t expect Cas to say anything more than that. He knew it was big. Even bigger than when they moved in together. Baby was the most important thing in Dean’s life, aside from Sam, and he had just given Cas partial ownership. Saying it was their car gave Cas permissions that Dean had never allowed anyone before. Not even Sam. And what shocked Dean the most wasn’t that he said it, but that he didn’t feel weird saying it. It felt right. He smiled as Cas flipped through his box of cassettes.

“Ya know, you’re the first person I’ve ever met who doesn’t make fun of me for still having cassettes.” Cas returned the smile as he popped one into the player.

“I like cassettes. They remind me of a simpler time.” Cas tilted his head. “Actually, you remind me of a simpler time.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“I meant it as one. I guess there’s something to be said about living in the middle of nowhere.”

“It’s nice,” Dean agreed. “It’s slower. The people are nicer. But California’s not bad. I like being near the ocean.”

Most of the rest of the drive was filled with off-key singing from Cas, bad jokes from Dean, and playful banter between the two of them that Dean had missed. Fourteen hours and six driver switches later Cas pulled into the parking lot of a motel. Dean didn’t argue. They both needed sleep. Dean checked them in and they went into the room. Dean waited until Cas was settled before he said,

“Just so I’m clear, these last three months, you didn’t think we were broken up?”

“No.”

“Were we on a break?”

“Nope. You were just taking some personal time. Everyone needs that once in a while.” Dean nodded.

“All right then.” He reached into his bag and pulled out a small box wrapped in newspaper. “Happy anniversary.” Cas blinked.

“What?”

“March 28. It’s our one year anniversary,” Dean handed over the box, “I wasn’t sure if I would ever see you again, but I saw this and it seemed like something you’d like. I missed you, so I got this for you in case I ever ran into you again. Guess I made the right call.”

“Oh…Dean, you didn’t have to…I completely forgot.”

“I figured you did. You don’t seem like the type who’s celebrated many anniversaries.”

“You’re not wrong, but I still feel bad.”

“Don’t, just open it.” Cas pulled off the paper and opened the box. The first thing he pulled out was the vintage locket Dean had seen at a pawn shop. Something about it had just screamed ‘Cas’ to him, so he bought it. Inside was the first picture they had ever taken together.

“Dean…oh, God, I love it.” Cas slipped it over his head before hugging Dean tightly.

“Good. I thought it suited you. There’s on more thing in there.” Cas picked up the box again. The other thing was a picture Dean had taken a few weeks ago with Becky’s camera. He had always loved Kansas sunsets so one day after his shift he drove out to the middle of nowhere and just took pictures. He picked the one he thought was the best. Cas smiled when he looked at it.

“This is incredible. Did you take this?” Dean nodded.

“Yeah. I was taking pictures the way I always do when I remembered what you taught me. It took a while, but I think I did it right.” Cas chuckled.

“There’s no “right” way to take a picture, Dean. This is the best one I’ve seen from you, though. I feel like I’m there. I wish I had been. It’s been a long time since I’ve actually watched the sun set.”

“We should do that when we get back. Ya know, assuming Sam and Charlie don’t kill me first. Or Gabe.”

“No one’s gonna kill you. They’re all just gonna be happy to see you.”

“You’re sure?”

“Positive.”

“Is Gabe still at the garage, or did they close up?” Cas smiled.

“He kept it open and running. Said you’d be pissed if it was closed when you came back. He’s hired a couple new people and he fired Gordon.”

“All right. I’ll talk to him when we get back tomorrow.”

“Good idea. We should get some sleep. We’ve got a long drive.” Dean set his alarm for four then changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt, and climbed into bed. Cas followed him. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas and kissed his temple.

“I missed this. I can’t really sleep without you.”

“Me either. Charlie stayed with me when she could, but for the most part I cuddled with Maggie until I fell asleep.”

“How is she? Maggie, I mean.”

“She’s good. She misses you. For the first few weeks she kept trying to open the bottom drawer of the dresser. I guess it still smelled like you. After that she would start whining around seven when you didn’t come home. Then she was sleeping on your blanket. She’s gonna be thrilled to see you.” Dean’s heart clenched. As much as he wasn’t a dog person, he knew Maggie was important to Cas, and he had grown to love her.

“I’m so sorry I put both of you through that.”

“No more apologizing to each other,” Cas said. “Starting now. We’ve both apologized enough. What happened happened and we can’t change it. We need to just move on.”

“Deal.” Dean held Cas a little tighter. It felt good, having Cas in his arms again. They were a perfect fit. Like they were literally made for each other. Dean had never been one to believe in things like soulmates, but there was no other way to describe what he felt when he was with Cas. He buried his nose in Cas’s hair and just breathed him in.

“Hey, if you get to smell me, I get to smell you.” Dean laughed.

“Fine, fine.” They switched positions so Cas was holding Dean. He closed his eyes and settled against Cas’s chest. Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair, quietly humming _Ramble On_ until Dean could feel himself drifting off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be Sunday


	47. Chapter 47

Cas walked into the Roadhouse. It wasn’t their usual bar, but Charlie had insisted they go keep Jo company during the slow part of her shift. Gilda was working late at the hospital again, something that had become a bit of a habit, so Charlie was sitting at a booth with Sam and Gabriel.

“Hey, you’re back!” Charlie stood and gave Cas a hug. “How’d it go?”

“Better than you probably thought,” Dean said from behind him.

“Dean!” Charlie pushed Cas out of the way and threw herself at Dean. Cas chuckled before turning to Sam.

“Told you I’d get him home.” He slid into the unoccupied side of the booth. Charlie released Dean and punched him in the arm.

“Ow.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you!? We were terrified!”

“I know, I’m sorry, but stop shouting.” Charlie huffed, but quieted down, seating herself in the booth beside Cas. “You can sit near him once you give us an explanation.” Dean didn’t argue. He pulled up a chair and launched into his story. Cas tuned most of it out. He had heard it already, he didn’t need to hear it again. Instead, he focused his attention on Dean’s body language, the welling in his eyes as he fought back tears, and the shear pain that was radiating off of him as he apologized and waited for the worst. Cas knew he meant every word that left his lips. Dean was truly sorry, and he would never be able to forgive himself. It was that that worried Cas.

“We’re just glad to have you back,” Sam said.

“I know, but you’re still mad. Don’t try to tell you’re not. Once we’re not in public you can all yell at me as much as you want. I talked to Cas and Monday morning I’m gonna look into therapy.”

“Really?” Charlie asked. Dean nodded.

“I hate feeling like this and I hate burdening you guys with all my problems.”

“You aren’t burdening us.”

“Yes, I am, Sammy. You all have your own lives. It’s one thing to vent every now and then, but you can’t be spending all your free time trying to make me feel better.”

“We fully support you,” Charlie said. “So what about you two? Where are you?” Dean looked at Cas. They shared a smile.

“We’re good,” Dean said.

“Like it never even happened,” Cas agreed. Charlie squealed.

“I’m so happy for you guys!” She hugged them both.

“Thanks, kiddo.” Dean kissed her forehead. “Now, I’m getting the next round.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Gabriel said.

“It’s the _least_ I can do. Just because I can’t drink doesn’t mean I can’t buy. What’s everyone drinking?” Dean got everyone’s drink orders.

“I’ll help carry,” Sam said, following his brother to the bar. As soon as they were gone Gabriel leaned forward on the table.

“You two are seriously still together? After what he put you through?”

“I love him, Gabe. He wasn’t trying to hurt me. He apologized more than once and I trust him not to do it again.”

“Are you sure?” Cas smiled.

“Yes. I appreciate that you’re worried about me, but I’m okay.” He reached under his shirt and pulled out the locket. He hadn’t taken it off since he put it on. “He got me this for our anniversary. He thought we were broken up, but he got me something anyway. I didn’t even remember.”

“I told you when you met him,” Charlie said, “he’s not so good with words, but his actions will tell you everything you need to know. And that locket is beautiful. Where’d he get it?”

“A pawn shop in Lawrence.” Cas popped it open. “This was the first picture we ever took after we got together. I didn’t even know he had this.” Charlie smiled.

“See? It’s always the little things with him. He’ll make big romantic gestures sometimes, but he always does little stuff every single day to remind you how much he loves you. I think that was the problem with a lot of his past relationships. Those people always wanted the words and the huge displays of affection. Dean’s not like that.”

“And thank God for that. I hate stuff like that. Quiet and subtle are good.”

“You two are perfect for each other.” Cas smiled even more.

“I think so, too. Yeah, we’ve got our problems, but,” he shrugged, “what couple doesn’t? We make it work and he makes me happy.” Dean and Sam came back over. Charlie got up so Dean could sit next to Cas. Dean kissed his cheek before smiling at Sam and Gabriel

“So how are you two doing?”

“Good,” Sam said. “My classes are pretty easy considering and I’ve made a couple friends.”

“I’m proud of you, Sam. I really am. Oh, and everyone back home says ‘hi’, by the way. I told them we’d visit once you pass the bar.”

“Great. It’d be good to see everyone again.”

“What about you, Gabe?”

“I’ve been pretty busy at the garage. I fired Gordon because dude…I don’t know what his problem was, but he snapped. He kept threatening customers and me and…really anyone within earshot. I let him go after he brought a gun to work. He wouldn’t go quietly so I had him arrested.”

“Well, all right then.”

“Yeah, that was a fun day. I did get a couple new people hired. Nick and Hannah are part-time, Amelia’s full-time.”

“Thanks, Gabe. I really owe you for keeping the business up and running. You didn’t have to do that.” Gabriel smirked.

“I need a job, dude. I figured out the payroll system,” Sam cleared his throat, “okay, Samsquatch over here figured out the payroll system, so everyone’s still getting their paychecks. I also clocked you in and out on the days you usually work. Figured Cassie would still need the money for bills and stuff.”

“I make my own money,” Cas grumbled. Dean patted his hand before addressing Gabriel.

“You didn’t have to do that, but I appreciate you looking out for Cas while I was gone. I’ll be back on Tuesday. I’ll go over the paperwork and we can talk more then.”

“All right.” Cas leaned his head on Dean’s shoulder. He was happy. Everyone was taking this in stride. He figured they would, but there was a small part of him that had been worried they wouldn’t. People could only handle so much and he didn’t want anyone to decide that Dean wasn’t worth the effort anymore. On an impulse he pressed lips against the side of Dean’s neck. Dean sighed and tipped his head back, giving Cas better access.

“Oh, come on, get a room!” Charlie complained.

“Shut up,” Dean muttered. “Like you haven’t done worse. Let us be happy.” Charlie rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. Everyone was smiling and Cas felt himself relax for the first time in three months.

They stayed at the bar for another two hours until it got busy. Dean drove them back to their apartment. As soon as they walked in the door, Maggie jumped on Dean. He laughed and dropped to his knees to pet her. He kissed her nose.

“Hey, Maggs. Sorry I was gone so long. I missed you.” Maggie barked happily. Cas ruffled Dean’s hair. He looked up at him, his expression soft. “I love you, Cas.” He got to his feet and put his arms around Cas’s waist. “I promise I do. I love you more than I can ever put into words.” Cas pressed a kiss against Dean’s lips.

“I know, Dean. I know it’s hard, but you shouldn’t feel guilty about this. No one’s mad at you. We’re all just happy you’re home and you’re safe.” Dean pulled Cas closer and nuzzled his hair.

“You’re amazing, ya know that? No one else would put up with this.”

“It’s not “putting up with” when you love the person. It’s accepting them for who they are. Not gonna lie, dating you is very frustrating sometimes, but I’d rather have you as you are than not have you at all. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah. I still don’t get why you picked me of all people, but I’m very lucky that you did and I never wanna take you for granted. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time.” Cas moved his hands into Dean’s hair and held him tightly. There was so much he wanted to say, but there weren’t enough words in the English language for him to explain to Dean just how much he cared for him. So he held him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be Wednesday


	48. Chapter 48

Dean stood in the office doorway and watched his team work. He had been back a week and everyone seemed to be taking to him. He hadn’t had any problems yet, anyway. The new people Gabriel had hired seemed to know what they were doing. He smiled and went back into the office. He sat at the desk and took out his phone.

“Hello, Dean.”

“Hiya, Cas. How’s the commission work going?”

“Slow. Now that you’re back everyone just wants pictures of us.”

“Can you blame them? We’re adorable.” Cas laughed.

“I won’t argue. Did you call me for a reason or did you just wanna talk?”

“I called you for a reason. I was wondering if you wanted to go to dinner tonight.”

“Sure. Just us?”

“I was gonna ask Sam, Gabe, Charlie, and Gilda.”

“Sounds like fun. Let me know what they say. You and Gabe closing tonight?”

“Yup. Should be home by seven-thirty at the latest.”

“All right. I’ll miss you until then.” Dean smiled.

“I’ll miss you, too, sweetheart. See ya in a few hours.”

“I love you, Dean.”

“Love you, too, Cas.” Dean tucked his phone back in his pocket and walked back into the garage. Gabriel was showing Nick how to work the lift controls. Dean went over.

“Hey, Lose-chester!”

“What the hell are you doing, Novak?”

“Training.”

“You are nowhere near qualified to train anyone on that. You barely know how it works.”

“Well, it was your job to train me when I got here, so who’s fault is that?”

“Yours! You don’t retain anything. It all just goes in one ear and out the other. Move over, I’ll show him.” Gabriel rolled his eyes, but moved out of the way.

“Do you guys always fight like that?” Nick asked.

“It’s not fighting so much as it is friendly arguing,” Gabriel said. Dean nodded his agreement before spending the next twenty minutes showing Nick how to operate the lift controls. Nick caught on quickly.

“See, thirty minutes and you’re already better than Gabe.”

“Bite me, Winchester,” Gabriel grumbled.

“Thought we agreed that was Sammy’s job?”

“Sam isn’t really the biting type.”

“Dude, I don’t need to know that.” Dean caught Nick’s bewildered look. “Sam’s my brother. He’s dating Gabe. I’m dating Gabe’s brother Cas.” Nick snapped his fingers.

“I knew I knew your name. Cas was in a couple of my classes freshman year. I’ve been following him online a little since we graduated. You seem to be the subject of a lot of his pieces.” Dean felt himself blush. He hated that Cas had that effect on him.

“Yeah, I’ve told him to tone it down, but,” he shrugged, “it’s really not so bad.” He turned to Gabriel. “You and Sammy up for dinner later?”

“I am. Can’t answer for Sam.”

“All right. Get back to work.”

“Yes, sir!” Dean rolled his eyes at Gabriel’s mock salute and went back into the office. He pulled out his phone again and called Charlie.

“What’s up, Handmaiden?”

“Hello, Your Highness. You and Gilda up for dinner tonight with me and Cas?”

“Yeah, why not? Gilda’s got the next two nights off and we’ve got nothing better to do.”

“Gee, thanks.” Charlie laughed.

“You know what I mean. We’d love to have dinner with you. What’s the occasion?”

“Nothing special,” Dean lied. He actually was trying to get everyone in one room for a reason, but he wanted it to be a surprise and no one he knew could keep a secret.

“Don’t lie to me, Winchester.”

“I’m not lying. It’s just been a while since we all went out together. I miss it.”

“All right. Eightish?”

“Yeah. Sam and Gabe might be coming, too. I’m gonna call Sammy next.”

“Let me know.”

“I will. Love ya, kid.”

“I know.” They hung up and Dean called Sam.

“I’m busy, this better be important.”

“Well, hello to you, too.”

“Sorry, but I’ve got a lotta homework. Is this important?”

“Just wanted to know if you wanted to go to dinner with me, Cas, Charlie, and Gilda tonight?” There was a long pause and Dean began to wonder if his little brother had hung up on him.

“Yeah, I can do that. I guess I should take a break.”

“Awesome. That really nice restaurant a few blocks from Charlie’s around eight.”

“Dean, that place is—.”

“I’m treating.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Don’t ask why. Just show up and wear a tux.”

“…Okay…?”

“Thanks, Sammy. See ya.” Dean set his phone on the desk. He could do this. Three more hours.

The three hours seemed to drag on forever, but the next thing Dean knew he was pulling up outside his apartment. He walked up and unlocked the door. Cas was sleeping on the couch wrapped in Dean’s blanket. His sketchpad was laying open on the coffee table. Dean picked it up and looked at the drawing. It was a half-finished sketch of an anime character that he didn’t recognize, but it was amazing. He sat on the couch and gently shook Cas awake.

“Hey, sweetheart.” He kissed the side of his neck. Cas rolled over and smiled sleepily.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” Dean grinned.

“It’s fine. You’re cute when you sleep. But we do have to get ready for dinner.” Cas sat up.

“Did everyone say yes?”

“Yup. We’re meeting them at that really nice restaurant by Charlie’s at eight.”

“Wow. Fancy. What’s the occasion?”

“Charlie asked me that, too. Nothing special, I just I thought it would be nice. Although, I do have a surprise for you.”

“What is it?”

“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise. But I think you’ll like it.” Dean hoped Cas would like his surprise. He figured he would, but there was that little voice in the back of his head telling him that this was a mistake. He was trying to ignore it.

“Can you at least give me a hint?”

“Um…no.” Dean silenced Cas’s protests with a kiss. “Come on, we’ve gotta get ready or we’re gonna be late.”

“You say that every single time we have to be somewhere, and we’re never late.”

“Because I make sure you’re ready on time!” Dean pushed Cas into their bedroom. It was yet another occasion that required suits and Cas bitched the entire time they got ready. Dean didn’t mind it so much. He was used to it, and he kind of agreed. He hated wearing suits, but this was important. When Cas left the room to run a comb through his hair, Dean slipped his present into the inside pocket of his suit jacket.

They left the apartment with five minutes to spare, even after they spent a few minutes arguing about whether or not Cas could bring his video camera. Cas won that argument. Everyone else was already at the restaurant when they got there, but that wasn’t a surprise.

“Hey, you guys are actually on time!”

“You know what? Shut up, Gabe.” Cas hugged his brother. Gabriel smiled and straightened Cas’s tie.

“You will never learn how to tie one of these, will you?”

“No.”

“So what’s going on?” Sam asked. “You don’t get everyone all dressed up for no reason.”

“Call it a late anniversary dinner,” Dean said.

“I can’t believe you two lasted a whole year. This is a fucking miracle.”

“And thank you for your continued support, Gabe,” Cas said. “It really means a lot to us.”

“You know I have to give you guys a hard time. Older brother perks.”

“Well, it the spirit of that, I’d just like to say that I’m amazed you and Sam have lasted as long as you have because you are the most _boring_ person on the face of the planet.” Cas grinned and ducked behind Dean when Gabriel took a swing at him.

“All right you two, knock it off,” Gilda said. They sat at their table. The waiter brought wine, and Charlie raised her glass.

“I’d like to propose a toast to Dean and Cas. I never intended for this to go any farther than friendship when I was trying to introduce you, but I’m so glad it did. I’ve never seen Dean happier, and even though you have your ups and downs, I can’t imagine two people more suited for each other.”

“Thanks, kiddo.” Dean kissed her cheek. “And, in the spirit of that, I would also like to say something.” He took a deep, calming breath before he addressed Cas. “When we first started this, we agreed that it wasn’t going to be anything serious. One year later, I’m completely crazy about you. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. You brought out a side in me that I didn’t know existed. I can’t imagine what my life would be like if Charlie hadn’t tried so hard to get us to meet, and I don’t really wanna know because it would probably be hell. You make me happier than I ever thought possible, and I don’t ever wanna lose this feeling.” Dean took another breath to steady his nerves. Then he reached into his pocket, pulled out the small, velvet box, and got down on one knee. “Cas, will you marry me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be tomorrow!


	49. Chapter 49

Cas covered his mouth with his hand. Gabriel and Gilda audibly gasped, Sam choked on the wine he had been drinking, and Charlie smacked Dean on the arm.

“You said this wasn’t special!” Dean ignored her. He kept his eyes on Cas. Cas stared at Dean for no less than a minute before he found his voice.

“Are you sure?” Dean nodded.

“I’ve never been more sure about anything in my entire life. Will you marry me?” Cas broke into a grin.

“Yes! Yes, of course I will!” Dean slid the diamond-studded band on Cas’s left hand then kissed him.

“Oh my, God, I can’t believe this is happening,” Charlie said. Cas cupped Dean’s face.

“I love you so much. You’re selfless, and caring, and just about the greatest thing to ever happen to me. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Wow. Never thought I’d hear you say that.” Cas ignored his brother. The truth was, he never thought he would ever say those words, but he meant them. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with Dean. Maybe he would get bored every now and then, but he was okay with that now. He could deal with a little boredom if it meant he and Dean would always be together.

“Gabe, just once, please be supportive,” Sam chided.

“I am supportive. Guys, I couldn’t be happier for you. Cas, you’re still a hot mess, but I’ve seen how you’ve grown up since you and Dean started dating. I hate to say this, but I think you’re finally becoming an adult.” Cas gasped.

“How dare you? I am _not_ an adult!”

“I’m afraid you are. You’re engaged, for God’s sake.” Cas rolled his eyes, but he hadn’t stopped smiling. He looked at the ring on his finger. He was fighting the urge to take out his video camera because he knew if he did he was going to start screaming, and he didn’t want to cause a scene.

Dinner was filled with idle chatter, but Cas wasn’t really paying attention. He kept staring at the ring, thinking it would disappear. He kept waiting for the dream to melt away. He kept expecting to wake up in bed next to Dean, content as ever, but not really going anywhere. He never did. It didn’t really sink in until they were back in Baby.

“I need to know. Do you really wanna marry me, or were you just trying not to embarrass me in front of our friends and siblings?” Cas smiled softly.

“I wanna marry you, Dean. I told you I want you to be the subject of every single one of my pieces until the day I die. That I want my most famous works to be of you. I want the world to know just how crazy I am about you.” Dean returned the smile.

“I love you, Cas.”

“I love you, too.” As soon as they got back to their apartment, Cas took out his camera. “Guess what, bitches!? I’M ENGAGED!” Cas held up his hand to show off the ring. “Dean proposed to me tonight at dinner! I’m still taking requests, and commissions are still open, but it might take me a little longer to get back to everyone. I’ll be giving wedding updates as often as Dean lets me.”

“Cas, put the camera away.” Dean came out of the kitchen with two glasses of champagne. “We’re supposed to be celebrating.”

“I am! I think everyone deserves to know we’re engaged! They’ll be so happy for us!” Cas turned his camera to Dean. “Say something.” Dean sighed and raised one of the glasses.

“To me and Cas. If he suddenly disappears, I had nothing to do with it.” Cas pouted.

“You’re mean.”

“I love you.” Cas turned off his camera and accepted the glass of champagne.

“I love you, too. So, wedding plans?” Dean shook his head.

“Tomorrow. Right now I just wanna enjoy this.” Cas curled up on the couch. Dean curled up next to him.

“I never thought we’d get here,” Cas admitted. “I wanted to ask you so many times, but I didn’t wanna scare you off. Then you left and I figured that even if you did come back you wouldn’t wanna rush back into things.”

“I didn’t realize how much I needed you in my life until I left. I was miserable without you and I never wanna feel that way again. The second you showed up at the diner, I knew. Full disclosure, I bought that ring at the same pawn shop I bought the locket. It wasn’t as expensive as it looks.”

“I don’t care about expensive, Dean. It’s beautiful. I love it.” Dean smiled.

“Good. Also, I was hoping you wouldn’t mind if we used my parents’ wedding rings. I still have them and Sam said he didn’t want them, so I always imagined…what?” Cas couldn’t help the stupid smile on his face. Every time he thought he couldn’t love Dean more, Dean found a way to prove him wrong.

“Sorry, but you are absolutely adorable. Of course we can use your parents’ rings. It means something to you and I think it’s very romantic.” Cas covered Dean’s hand with his own. “I know you weren’t in the greatest place when we started dating, but I’ve gotten to watch you grow into this amazing person. I can’t put into words how lucky I am that I met you and that you wanna spend the rest of your life with me.” Dean smiled over his glass of champagne.

“I’m not adorable.”

“You are, though.” Cas touched Dean’s cheek, pulling him in for a gentle kiss. He sighed against Dean’s lips before climbing into his lap. He picked up his sketchbook and flipped to a clean page.

“Whatchya working on?”

“Not sure yet. I just feel like drawing.” Cas looked up at Dean. “Maybe I’ll draw you again.” Dean chuckled.

“Pick a different muse, Cas. I can’t be the subject of _all_ your work. People’ll get bored.” Cas rolled his eyes.

“I don’t care about people. My art is for me. Unless I’m doing commissions, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. I like drawing you.”

“I’ve noticed.” Dean smiled. “I have no idea why, but I don’t mind. I appreciate that you think I’m that interesting.” He paused. “So, who do we tell first?”

“Balthazar. He’ll be pissed if he doesn’t hear it from me and Gabe’s gonna tell him the second he sees him. I’ll call him in the morning.”

“All right. We can tell everyone else tomorrow night at Trivia Night.”

“We’re still on opposite teams for that, right?” Dean grinned.

“For the rest of our lives, sweetheart. I love you, but I’ll never get tired of kicking your ass at Trivia Night.”

“And who won last time?”

“Shut up. _Someone_ threw me off my game.” Cas laughed. He knew he had played dirty last week, but he couldn’t help it. Dean had been just as much of a distraction to him, he just knew how to control himself a little better. Not much, but a little.

“You weren’t complaining about it when we got home.” Dean responded by dragging Cas into a warm kiss.

“I would never complain about you.” The conversation fell silent after that, but Cas didn’t mind. He worked on his next commission while Dean watched TV. They fell asleep on the couch that night, wrapped in each other’s arms.

* * *

The next morning, Cas met Balthazar at the dog park. He was wondering how long it would take his cousin to notice the engagement ring. He got his answer the second Balthazar showed up.

“ _What_ is _that_?” Cas couldn’t help the smile on his face.

“An engagement ring. Dean proposed last night.”

“Oh, Cassie, that’s fantastic! I never thought this day would come.”

“Neither did I, but he makes me happy.”

“So who’s your best man?” Cas rolled his eyes.

“Don’t start with that. You know it’s Gabe. But you can help me plan it if you want. I’ve got a ton of ideas and no idea where to start.”

“You’ve always been a bit of a scatter brain, Cas. Of course I’ll help you.”

“Great! We can meet at my apartment whenever you’re not busy. As soon as the month ends, I’m closing commissions until after the honeymoon so I’ll be free whenever. Just make sure you call first.”

“I’m not stupid. Who else have you told?”

“Well, Gabe, Sam, Charlie, and Gilda were all at dinner last night when it happened, so just them. I’m sure Dean’s gonna tell everyone at the garage and we’re gonna tell everyone else tonight at Trivia Night. Are you coming?”

“Can I bring a date?”

“As long as they aren’t crazy. I don’t want a repeat of what happened with what’s-her-name.”

“Atropos. Yeah, sorry about her. I didn’t realize she was _that_ crazy. I promise this one won’t be.”

“Good because I don’t think we need to give Bela any additional reasons to get into fights.”

“Oh, yeah, I’d watch myself around her if I were you. Especially now with the whole engagement thing.” Cas furrowed his brow.

“You think she’d be jealous?”

“I think she has a crush on Dean, but she’s too proud to admit it and seeing him happy with someone else isn’t easy for her. She’ll get over it eventually, but just be careful.”

“I’m not scared of Bela, Balthazar. The only people in that group I’m scared of are Charlie, Gilda, and Jo.”

“Jo has a crush on Dean, too.”

“I know, she told me when we first started dating. She told me I was lucky and I shouldn’t let him go. She was right.” Balthazar smiled.

“I really am happy for you, Cas.”

“Thank you. Now, wedding plans.” Cas took out his sketchpad and started drawing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be Wednesday


	50. Chapter 50

“I can’t believe you’re engaged!” Jessica squealed.

“Congratulations, brotha.” Benny clapped Dean’s shoulder.

“Are you going with wedding cake or wedding pie?” Garth asked.

“Can I be a bridesmaid?” Jo was practically jumping up and down.

“I’m so happy for you guys,” Eileen said, who had been keeping up with the conversation curtesy of Sam’s incredibly fast sign language skills.

“Yeah, good for you guys,” Bela muttered. Dean chose to ignored her. He figured she wouldn’t be too happy about it, but he didn’t care. He was happy.

“You all need to calm down,” he said, laughing. “We’ll discuss details later. Right now I just wanna have a fun night with my friends. Come on. Trivial Pursuit and drinks on me.”

“Drinks are on the house tonight,” Ellen said from behind him. Dean turned around. She smiled and hugged him. “It’s not often one of you gets engaged. And I gotta admit I kinda thought you’d be the last to get married.”

“Thanks, Ellen. That means a lot.”

“Don’t get smart with me, boy.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Dean sat at the table. Cas sat next to him.

“Ready to lose?”

“It’s cute how you think you can beat me.”

“Why are you two like this?” Sam asked.

“Because we love each other,” Cas replied, “but we love winning more.”

“So just be on the same team,” Bela said.

“That takes the fun out of it,” Dean said.

“All right, all right, enough.” Jo passed out the game pieces. “We’ve got six pieces and seven teams, who wants to sit this round out?”

“We will,” Jessica said.

“Oh hell no,” Jo snapped.

“I don’t feel like playing,” Bela said. “Jo can take Eileen. I’m gonna go to the bar.”

“I’ll go with you.” Jessica left the table with Bela.

“All right. Standard rules, and Dean and Cas, no fighting. You think it’s cute, the rest of us do not.” Dean smirked at Cas. Cas responded by kicking him under the table. Dean winced, but kept his mouth shut. They rolled the die to see who went first.

“I swear you rig this,” Charlie muttered.

“That’s literally impossible,” Dean grinned. He picked up the die and rolled.

The next thirty minutes or so were filled with beer, burgers, and Dean trying very hard not to get into a play fight with Cas. He couldn’t help it. He loved their stupid bickering. It was one of the things that reminded him that their relationship was real. He was getting better about that. He had been in therapy for a few weeks and it was helping more than he cared to admit. His therapist, Jody Mills, was funny, kind, and incredibly understanding. She didn’t push him to talk if he didn’t want to, but she also didn’t let him shy away from his feelings. She was great.

“So, seriously, can I be a bridesmaid, or what?” Jo asked after Dean answered a fifth question right. Dean looked at Cas.

“You can all be bridesmaids and groomsmen,” Cas said.

“Who’s the bride?” Charlie asked.

“Seriously?” Balthazar raised an eyebrow. “I think we all know Cassie is a drama queen.”

“Excuse you, I am _the_ drama queen,” Cas corrected.

“Yeah, he’s definitely the bride,” Gabriel said. “Just so I’m sure, me and Samsquatch here are the best men, right?”

“Of course,” Dean assured him. “As annoying as I find you, I don’t think Cas would have it any other way.”

“Nope. You two are the best men, Balthazar’s helping me plan, and I’d like Charlie to be in charge of my bachelor party.”

“Yes!”

“I thought that was my job,” Gabriel protested.

“It’s supposed to be, but I don’t trust you,” Cas said with a smile.

“Love you, too.”

“What about me?” Sam asked.

“I’m completely in your hands,” Dean said. Unlike Cas, he had no doubt that his brother would do everything right. He trusted Sam not to go overboard.

“Thanks, Dean.”

“The rest of you are in charge of showing up on time and standing where you’re supposed to stand,” Cas said. “Now, can we get back to the game, please?”

“Right, I was winning.” Dean picked up the die. “What color do we want, Sammy?”

“Purple.” Dean rolled.

“Seriously, _how_ do you do that?” Charlie demanded when Dean moved the piece to the purple space.

“I’m magical,” he said. “Come on, read the card.”

“All right. Which book, written by philosopher Adam Smith in 1776, outlines free-market capitalism?” Dean looked at Sam. This definitely wasn’t his area.

“ _The Wealth of Nations_.”

“I hate you both,” Charlie sighed. Dean grinned.

“You love us.” He turned to Cas. “Ready to admit defeat yet, Novak?”

“Don’t get cocky, Winchester. I’ve still got time.” Cas reached over and took some fries off Dean’s plate. Dean smacked his hand.

“Rules.”

“Bite me.”

“Maybe later.”

“Gross!” Gabriel complained.

“Maybe you two shouldn’t be allowed to sit next to each other,” Jo said.

“Nah, we’re fine. One more question and I win, then I’m getting pie.”

“You sitting the next round out?” Garth asked.

“I think so. Give you guys a chance to win one.”

“Gee, thanks,” Benny muttered. Dean answered the last question correctly without a moment’s hesitation, then stood up and walked over to the bar. He was surprised when Cas followed him.

“You sitting out, too?”

“Thought I might.” Cas moved into Dean’s personal space and touched his lips to Dean’s ear. “Thought you and me could have a little fun.”

“But…pie,” Dean whined and Cas laughed.

“Given the choice, you’d really pick pie over sex?”

“That’s not fair. I love you, but…I really, _really_ want Ellen’s pie. It’s the best.” Cas responded by pressing a searing kiss to Dean’s lips. Dean groaned into it, sliding his hands up into Cas’s hair. Cas pulled away much too soon.

“How about now?”

“I fucking hate you.” Cas smiled coyly, leaning in for another kiss.

“Hey!” Ellen snapped from the other end of the bar. “I know you two just got engaged, but take it outside.”

“Sorry,” Dean said. “Can we get some pie?” Cas kicked Dean in the shin. “No rush,” he added with a wink at his fiancé. Cas moved even closer, grabbed Dean through his jeans.

“You’re gonna regret that, Winchester.”

“I sincerely doubt that, Novak.” Dean kept up his cocky bravado, but inside he was a little nervous. The good kind of nervous that made his stomach do somersaults. Cas had a kinky side, but when he got mad he got…creative. Dean was never disappointed, but he never knew what to expect. Cas pressed his lips against the shell of Dean’s ear.

“You’re in for a _world_ of pain.” A shudder racked through Dean’s entire body. Suddenly he wasn’t so interested in pie. It was taking all his willpower not to jump Cas right there. He didn’t want to abandon his friends, but he also couldn’t go back over to them the way he was. He glared at Cas before calling to Ellen,

“We’ll be right back.” He grabbed Cas’s hand and dragged him outside.

“What are—?” Dean cut Cas’s question off with a forceful kiss before pushing him into Baby’s backseat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be Sunday!
> 
> Love you guys! 💕💕


	51. Chapter 51

“Hey, guys! First, I wanna say thank you to everyone who’s been sending their congratulations to me and Dean. The support means a lot to us. Now, I know I said I was keeping commissions open, but I didn’t realize how much planning was gonna be involved. My cousin and wedding planner, Balthazar, is breathing down my neck, saying I’m spending too much time on my art. You’re right, Balthy. Sorry for making a career out of something I love. Anyway, I’m closing commissions until after the honeymoon. Sorry guys. I still love you, I promise. Thanks for understanding.” Cas put his camera down and popped out the card. He uploaded the video, then sent Balthazar a text.

**Cas [2:37pm]:** Commissions are officially closed. Happy?

 **Balthazar [2:39pm]:** Yes. You can’t keep getting distracted. This is important.

 **Cas [2:40pm]:** I realize that but you do realize that my commissions are how I make money right?

 **Balthazar [2:41pm]:** Dean makes more than enough money to support you. You need to focus on planning the wedding. None of your ideas work together.

 **Cas [2:42pm]:** I’ll make it work. See you tomorrow?

 **Balthazar [2:43pm]:** Fine.

Cas rolled his eyes. He loved his cousin, but he was beginning to regret asking him to help plan the wedding. He was being so uptight about everything. Cas wasn’t worried about everything being perfect. He was just happy he was getting married. He glanced at the time. Dean would be home in about an hour. That gave him some time to work on his last commission. He picked up his sketchpad and got to work.

Cas looked up from his sketchpad when he heard the door open. Dean came in without a word and went into the living room. Cas frowned and followed him, taking his sketchpad with him.

“What’s wrong, babe?”

“I hate this.”

“Hate what?” Dean gestured vaguely.

“I don’t know. Everything.” Cas decided he could show Dean his designs for their wedding later. He set his sketch pad on the coffee table and sat so he was facing Dean.

“Talk to me. What happened?”

“Nothing happened. I just…I don’t know.”

“You’re having a bad day. That’s okay. Talk to Jody about it tomorrow. Why don’t we watch a movie?”

“I don’t want to.”

“Okay. What _do_ you wanna do?”

“Nothing.” Cas sighed quietly. Dean didn’t have bad days often, but when he did, sometimes it was all Cas could do to keep from smacking him. It was frustrating, but he knew he had to be patient.

“Okay. I’ll get you something to drink. If you want, I sketched some ideas for our wedding.” That got Dean to smile a little. Cas smiled back and kissed his cheek. He got up and got a couple glasses of iced tea. He knew better than to give Dean beer when he was like this. He handed Dean his glass then sat next to him on the couch. Dean was flipping through Cas’s sketchbook.

“These are really good.”

“Any ideas that stand out to you?”

“Not really. I like them all. The tuxes might be a little much, but I’d be willing to go with patterned ties. Also, you will have to drug Charlie if you wanna get her into a dress. I suggest we let her decide what she wants to wear.”

“I can be okay with that.”

“Have we decided on a date?”

“I was thinking some time in December, if that’s okay. That gives us eight months.”

“Okay. What about location?”

“The beach at sunset.”

“Could you be anymore cliché?”

“I like beaches. They’re great for photos. But we can do it somewhere else if you want.” Dean smiled.

“The beach is fine, but I guarantee none of the girls are wearing heels.”

“I wouldn’t expect them to. I don’t need someone twisting or breaking an ankle for the sake of being a few inches taller. Flats are fine. Or barefoot.” Cas took his sketchpad back from Dean and began making a list. He would be meeting with Balthazar tomorrow and he didn’t want to forget anything.

“How are things going with Balthazar? He annoying you yet?” Cas smirked.

“Not yet. He’s actually being very helpful. All the ideas are mine, he’s just helping me put everything together. He’s being surprisingly supportive.”

“You thought he wouldn’t be?” Cas shrugged.

“Me, Balthazar, and Gabe sorta came to this nonverbal agreement that we wouldn’t settle down until we were in our thirties. Our twenties were supposed to be our time. Drinking, sex, and zero attachment. I’m the youngest of the three of us and I’m getting married first. I guess I just expected more speeches about how I’m throwing my life away by getting married so young, and how I’ll never get to have sex with anyone else ever again.” Dean sat up a little.

“Do those things bother you?” Cas smiled softly.

“Not at all. I don’t feel like I’m throwing my life away. I’m making money selling my art, which is all I ever really wanted to do, and now I have someone I love to spend my life with.”

“What about never having sex with anyone new ever again?”

“Dean, if I wanted to do that, I would’ve done it a year ago. I’ve been with a lot of people, but none of them hold a candle to you.” Cas watched Dean blush. “You’re more than interesting enough for me.” He looked down at his sketchpad. “Any thoughts for our honeymoon?” Dean grinned.

“Actually, I’m already working on that.” Cas raised an eyebrow.

“Care to share?”

“I kinda wanted it to be a surprise.” Cas nodded.

“All right. I trust you.”

“Thank you. I promise you’ll love it.”

“I have no doubt.” Cas stretched out on the couch, resting his head in Dean’s lap. He draw up his knees and flipped to another page in his sketchbook. Dean started carding his fingers through Cas’s hair and he hummed contentedly. “I thought our wedding invitation could look like this.” He tipped his head back to look up at Dean. Dean looked at the drawing.

“That’s beautiful, Cas.”

“Thanks. I’m gonna have Charlie do a digital print of it. How many people are we inviting?” Dean frowned.

“Well, Sam and Gabe, and all our friends. I was gonna invite my friends back in Lawrence and everyone from the garage. Are you inviting your family?” Cas couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes.

“No. We haven’t spoken in five years, and they won’t come anyway, so why waste the postage?”

“How do you know that? This is our _wedding_. I think they would at least wanna know about it.”

“Then they can check my Instagram. Or my Twitter. Or any of my other social media because it’s all I’ve been talking about.” Cas gave his fiancé a soft smile. “It’s not worth it, Dean. I haven’t talked to them in five years and I don’t really feel like getting back in touch with them just to tell them I’m still not straight and I’m marrying a guy. It’ll just piss them off.” Dean nodded.

“All right.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Cas’s forehead. “I still can’t believe we’re getting married. I keep thinking I’m gonna wake up from a dream.”

“Me, too. I can’t believe this is happening. I’m so happy.”

“Really?”

“Yes, Dean. I’m incredibly happy. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“I love you, Cas. Have you thought about who we’re gonna pick for a photographer?” Cas snorted.

“Yeah. Sure. I’m gonna trust some random person with our wedding photos. No, you, me, and Charlie are gonna take those.”

“Oh, no, no, no, no. You and Charlie can do it. I’m still not quite there yet.”

“I think you are.”

“I don’t wanna mess anything up.” Cas chucked.

“Babe, there’s absolutely no way you can mess this up. Just point and click.”

“You really trust me?”

“Absolutely.” Dean smiled.

“Thanks, Cas.” Cas closed his sketchbook and snuggled into Dean, sighing as he drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be Thursday!


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My work schedule changed and I have the next two days off, so here's an update! Enjoy!

Dean woke up to Cas’s breath on the side of his neck and his voice in his ear.

“Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean.” Dean groaned and rolled over.

“Cas, it’s four in the morning.”

“I know, but I just had the _best_ idea for our wedding theme!” Dean snuggled deeper under the covers.

“Great. Tell me in the morning.”

“But it’s so good.” Cas started bouncing up and down. “Come on, it’s our wedding!”

“I have to be up in less than four hours for work. If you don’t let me sleep, there won’t be a wedding.” Cas stilled.

“Fine.” Dean had his eyes closed, but he felt Cas turn away from him. He sighed. He opened his eyes and pulled his fiancé closer to him.

“What is it?”

“No. You don’t wanna talk to me.”

“Yes I do.” Dean kissed Cas’s neck. “Come on, I’m sorry. I don’t need sleep. Talk to me.” Cas turned over and pressed a kiss to Dean’s lips.

“I was thinking _Doctor Who_ theme.”

“No.” Cas frowned.

“You didn’t even think about it.”

“Cas, this is our _wedding_.”

“Exactly. It’s _our_ wedding. We can do whatever we want. I have a ton of ideas, none of them go together, and it’s gonna be a hot mess, but it’s gonna be _our_ hot mess.” Dean sighed.

“Do I even get a say in this?” Cas’s frown deepened.

“Of course you do.”

“Doesn’t feel like it.” Cas moved away from him a little.

“Dean, I’m not trying to force you to do anything. I just don’t think we need to make our wedding really traditional. That’s boring. I want this to be unique, and exciting, and completely ours. Why is that a problem?”

“It’s not.” Dean closed the space between them and traced circles on his hip. “I want this to be special. I just don’t think going fandom is the right way.”

“You won’t even think about it?” Dean placed a kiss to Cas’s forehead.

“I will. If you can find a way to make it tasteful, we can do it, but I don’t want our wedding to look like Comic-Con.” Cas smiled a little.

“I can work with that. Thank you.” Dean pressed his lips against Cas’s.

“I want you to be happy. And we can talk about this more later, but I really need to go back to sleep.”

“Fine. Just…hold me, maybe?”

“Of course.” Dean wrapped his arms around him. Cas tucked his head against Dean’s chest. Dean smiled and kissed his head before drifting off to sleep.

Dean groaned when his alarm went off. He shut it off and rolled out of bed. Cas was still dead to the world, but that wasn’t a surprise. Dean went into the bathroom and took a quick, cold shower to wake himself up. He threw on some clothes, kissed Cas’s forehead, and went to work. Gabriel was already there which threw him off a little. He had been hoping for some quiet time before anyone else showed up.

“‘Morning, Dean!”

“No.”

“Well, someone’s grumpy.”

“I’m tired and your voice is really not the first thing I wanna hear in the morning,” Dean grumbled as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

“Cassie’s giving you a hard time, isn’t he?” Dean shook his head.

“Not really. But he wants our wedding to be _Doctor Who_ themed.”

“Yeah, he told me and Balthazar about that. Balt practically had a heart attack. I told him you would say no.”

“I did.”

“And then he gave you his puppy dog eyes and you caved, right?” Gabriel asked with a smirk.

“Something like that, yeah,” Dean admitted sheepishly. He couldn’t help it. He loved the way Cas’s eyes lit up when he was excited, and he loved it even more when he was the reason for it. He could deal with a _Doctor Who_ themed wedding if it meant he could see that look on Cas’s face. As long as it was handled tastefully.

“You’re hopelessly in love with him, aren’t you?” Dean smiled.

“I am. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him.”

“Well, I can’t wait to be your brother-in-law.” Gabriel put his hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Please watch out for him, though. He’s gotten better, but he’s still a mess.” Dean chuckled.

“You’re not wrong, but we make it work.” Dean’s phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and sighed. “Speak of the devil.” He answered his phone. “I’m at work.”

“I know, I know, but I had the best idea.”

“You say that about all your ideas. Write it down, and we’ll talk when I get home. I promise.”

“But—.”

“Cas, I just got here and we need to set up. Please, just let me work. I love you, and I wanna talk to you about this, but I can’t right now.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay. Tell Gabe I said hi.”

“I will. I love you.”

“Love you, too, babe.” The line went dead and Dean pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Your brother says hi.”

“He’s gonna be a nightmare about this,” Gabriel said. “The sooner you accept that, the easier it’ll be.” Dean nodded. He was happy, Cas was just a little much to take when he was overexcited. He needed some space to breathe.

“How’s Balthazar handling this? I haven’t talked to him.”

“I think he’s one more idea away from punching Cas in the throat. Your fiancé is insane.”

“I know. He wants to use every single idea he has, even though none of them work together. He thinks he can pull this off.”

“You think he can’t?”

“I think our wedding may end up looking like a Comic-Con themed pride parade.”

“Oh, Lord. Balthazar might actually kill him.” Dean phone went off. He took it out and sighed when he saw the caller ID.

“I might actually kill him if he doesn’t quit calling me.” He answered his phone. “Cas—.”

“Yeah, I know, you’re at work. I was just wondering if it would be okay if I stopped by later?”

“Why?”

“I need to take Maggie for a walk and I’d like to properly meet everyone before you invite them to our wedding.”

“All right. Stop by around noon. Everyone should be here then.”

“Okay. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Dean put his phone back in his pocket.

“You want me to drop a car on him?” Gabriel asked.

“I’d like you to stop talking for a little while, if you think you could manage that. I’m still not completely awake.” Gabriel held up his hands.

“All right, sorry. Let me know when I’m allowed to talk to you again.”

Dean used that power to his advantage. Gabriel stayed quiet for most of the day until Cas showed up.

“Gabe, Gabe, Gabe! Did you get our wedding invitation?” Dean and Gabriel both looked up from the cars they were working on. Cas was bouncing up and down with a cup of “coffee” in his hand. His messenger bag strap was twisted across his chest, and his hair was a disaster.

“Are you okay?” Dean asked, greeting him with a kiss.

“Fine, just hyper.” Cas turned to his brother. “Did you get our invitation?”

“Yes, Cas.”

“So why haven’t you RSVP’d?”

“Okay, first of all, relax. You’re vibrating. Second of all, I’m your best man. Obviously I’m coming. Hold on.” Gabriel disappeared outside. Dean put his hands on Cas’s shoulders.

“He’s right, Cas, you’re vibrating. What the hell is in that cup?”

“Caramel vanilla latte. Extra caramel, extra vanilla.”

“You’re gonna give yourself a heart attack if you keep drinking that shit.”

“So what? I should drink that bitter, black bullshit that you drink? No thanks. I’d rather die than do that to my tastebuds.”

“I worry about you sometimes, Novak.”

“Likewise, Winchester.” They were silent for a moment before Dean spoke what he was pretty sure they were both thinking.

“Are you taking my last name?”

“Only if you take mine,” Cas replied with an easy smile that Dean returned.

“I can do that.” He liked the sound of it. Dean Winchester-Novak. It had a nice ring to it. Gabriel came back inside with their wedding invitation. It had turned out even better than Dean he thought it would. Charlie had put a lot of extra work into it for them.

“Here. RSVP’d in person.” Cas took the invitation.

“Thank you.”

“I actually wanted to talk to you guys about something.”

“Shoot,” Cas said.

“For the last few weeks I’ve…kinda been thinking about…maybe asking Sam to marry me,” Dean broke into a grin immediately, but Gabriel didn’t give him a chance to say anything, “and I was wondering if I could do it at your wedding. During the reception.” Dean caught Cas’s eye. He didn’t really care, he was just happy for them, but he knew how important every single detail of this wedding was to Cas. Cas chewed his bottom lip.

“Yes.” He nodded thoughtfully. “Yes, I can be okay with that. But only after our first dance. When you give your toast, you can end by proposing.” Gabriel smiled.

“Thanks, Cas. This means a lot to me. And you,” Gabriel looked at Dean, “cannot breathe a word about this to your brother. I want it to be a surprise.” Dean held up his hands in mock surrender.

“I swear. I won’t say a word.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be tomorrow


	53. Chapter 53

“One month, bitches! Dean and I are getting married in ONE MONTH! Actually more like five weeks, but close enough! The point is, WE’RE GETTING MARRIED! I can’t thank you guys enough for your continued support. Dean says thank you, too, but he’s not here right now. He’s arguing with the cake decorator because…reasons, and then he has work. Anyway, I’ll definitely be posting wedding photos so stay tuned!”

Cas put his camera down and giggled to himself. He was giddy with excitement. He couldn’t believe that in a little over a month he would officially be Castiel Novak-Winchester. It was hard to believe and he was so incredibly happy. He could tell Dean was starting to crack under the pressure, but he was helping him deal with it. He knew once all the planning and organizing were over, he would breathe a little easier.

Cas was getting a little nervous himself. The good kind of nervous that made him laugh for no reason and gave him little butterflies in his stomach. He sipped his glass of wine and looked at the clock. It was a little past four. Dean was probably already at work, provided he was done yelling at the cake decorator. It was a minor, microscopic mistake, but Balthazar’s OCD seemed to be rubbing off because Dean demanded it be fixed. It was cute really, seeing him get so worked up over nothing.

Dean was getting better at expressing his emotions, but he still wasn’t… _passionate_ about anything. Cas was okay with that, and it was nice to see him at least showing _some_ emotions, but it was a major turn on to see him get so upset over the little things that shouldn’t matter. Especially since he was getting so upset because he didn’t want Cas to be upset. Maggie padded over and climbed into Cas’s lap. He scratched behind her ears absentmindedly. She licked at his hand until he looked down at her. She barked once.

“I’m fine, Maggs. Just a little nervous. Our wedding is so close. I’m keep thinking something’s gonna go wrong. Is something gonna go wrong?” Maggie barked again. “I guess. Maybe I am being a little paranoid. Dean loves me, right?” Maggie barked a third time and wagged her tail. “Yeah, I think so, too. And I love him so much. Everything’s gonna be fine. And even if it isn’t perfect, well…hey, at least we’re getting married.”

Cas smiled to himself. He liked his conversations with Maggie. Maybe she couldn’t talk, but she gave him better advice than anyone he had ever met, including Dean, and his brother. Probably because she didn’t have a personal agenda. Everyone always gave him the advice that would somehow benefit them. Maggie didn’t. Maggie was his best friend, and nothing was ever going to change that. Cas’s phone rang, startling him. He picked it up.

“Hey, babe.”

“Hey. I got everything fixed. I’ll be at the garage late tonight. We got handed a three-car wreck and it’s bad. It’s an all hands on deck situation.”

“Okay. How about I stop by around nine and bring you guys some dinner?”

“Dinner you made, or bought?”

“Bought, but it’s nice to know you have so little faith in my cooking.” Dean laughed.

“Sweetheart, you burned Ramen. That’s nearly impossible. I love you, but you can’t cook for shit.”

“I love you, too. I’ll be there around eight or nine.”

“All right. I’ll let Gabe know. And, hey, can you pick up Charlie on your way? She’s at some art thing somewhere.”

“How specific.” Dean laughed again.

“Sorry, I wasn’t really listening when she was talking. Just text her. She’ll tell you where she is.”

“Fine. Anything else you need me to do? Maybe pick up your dry cleaning?”

“No, just don’t forget Charlie.”

“I can do that. I’ll see you later. Love you.”

“Love you, too.” Cas set his phone on the floor next to him and picked up his sketchbook. He had a few hours to kill and he wanted to work on his latest drawing of Dean. He touched the pencil to the paper and let his mind wander.

His art always went one of two ways. Either he had to be one hundred percent laser focused on it, or he couldn’t focus on it at all. This one apparently required zero focus. At least for the outline. The finer details would obvious require some concentration, but for now, he was content with thinking about nothing. Cas sketched until about seven thirty. He texted Charlie to figure out where she was.

**Cas [7:34pm]:** Hey Dean’s stuck at work. He told me to pick you up but he can’t tell me where you are. Got an address for me?

 **Charlie [7:35pm]:** I knew he wasn’t listening to me! He thinks I can’t tell but I totally can. I’m literally in the art building at school. They’re doing a showcase and one of my pieces is in it.

 **Cas [7:36pm]:** Why didn’t you tell me??? I would’ve been there!

 **Charlie [7:36pm]:** I didn’t wanna bother you. I know you’re busy planning the wedding. Come get me and we’ll talk.

 **Cas [7:37pm]:** On my way.

He got up and changed out of his sweatpants. As he walked past Maggie, she nipped at his ankles. He sighed.

“All right, all right. You can come with me, but I can’t guarantee Dean’ll be happy to see you. He’s busy.” Maggie growled at him. Cas chuckled as he walked outside. The walk to the school only took about ten minutes. Charlie was sitting outside. She smiled and hugged him when she saw him.

“Did Dean really send you to come get me without a car?”

“Yeah, guess he didn’t really think that one through. I was gonna drop by the garage and give them some food anyway. They’re working late.”

“Food you made or bought?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that? I’m not that bad at cooking!” Charlie smiled sympathetically.

“Oh, sweetie, yes you are.” She knelt down to pet Maggie. “She give you a hard time until you let her come with you?”

“Yeah. Hopefully Dean won’t be too mad. I know how he gets when he’s busy.”

“I’m sure he won’t mind. He’ll just be happy to see you.”

“I hope so. I missed him all day.” Charlie smiled.

“You really love him, don’t you?”

“You’re picking now to ask me that?”

“Sorry. I just realized that the wedding is a little over a month away and you haven’t freaked out yet.” Cas raised an eyebrow.

“Were you expecting me to?”

“A little. And Dean came to me about two months ago saying he was worried. He thought reality was gonna set in and you were gonna run out on him. I meant to say something to you earlier, but…life happened. I told him to talk to Jody about it.”

“Did he?”

“I think so. He hasn’t mentioned it to me since and he seems really happy.”

“Good.” They got in a cab, picked up some food from Dean’s favorite bar, and went to the garage. Everyone was hard at work when they got there. Charlie walked over to Dean and Gabriel.

“Hey, Handmaiden! Hey, short stack!”

“How come the rest of us don’t get nicknames?” Nick asked from underneath the hood of a mangled Porsche.

“I don’t know you well enough,” Charlie replied with a smile. Maggie ran over and started nipping at Dean’s boots.

“Sorry,” Cas said, pecking Dean’s cheek. “She wouldn’t let me leave unless I took her with me.” Dean smiled. He picked Maggie up and looked her in the eyes.

“You can only stay if you promise to behave. I’ve got a lotta work to do. Okay?” Maggie wagged her tail and licked Dean’s nose. He laughed. “Good.” He put her back on the floor.

“Are you really okay with her staying? I can take her home.”

“If you staying means she has to stay, I’m more than okay with it.” Cas smirked.

“Are you just saying that because I brought you food?” Dean’s eyes lit up.

“You actually brought food?” Cas laughed.

“Of course I did, you idiot.” He handed over the box. “Burgers from your favorite bar.”

“Hey, you brought enough for everyone, right?” Gabriel said.

“Yes, Gabe. I’m not an asshole.”

“Well, see, now, that’s debatable, but I’m all for free food.” Gabriel took the box into the office. Everyone else followed him, including Charlie. Cas smiled at Dean.

“I missed you today.”

“I missed you, too. Balthazar still breathing down your neck?”

“Only every second of every day. Five weeks and I won’t have to deal with him anymore.”

“I can’t believe we’re getting married in a month.”

“Me either. Now, go on before they eat everything. We can talk later.” Dean frowned.

“You’re not gonna stay?”

“I am, but I’m gonna be outta the way as much as possible. Me and Charlie’ll keep Maggie busy so she doesn’t bother you.”

“All right. I don’t how long we’re gonna be here. Obviously we can’t get this done tonight, but I’m gonna keep everyone as late as I can. You don’t have to stay until I leave, but maybe just for an hour?” Cas smiled.

“I’ll stay as long as you want me around.”

“You two are sickeningly sweet,” Gabriel said from the doorway.

“Leave them alone,” Amelia chided, “they’re cute. Now stop stuffing your face and get back to work.”

“Excuse me, since when are you the boss of me?”

“Since she’s smarter than you,” Dean said. He looked at Cas. “I’m gonna see if those vultures left me any burgers and then I’ve gotta get back to work.”

“I’ll be here.” They shared a kiss that lasted a few more minutes than either of them intended, then Cas whistled for Maggie and walked out back.

Charlie left after about an hour. Cas stayed out back with Maggie, taking pictures and playing fetch until well past midnight. It was nearing one in the morning when Dean came out, wiping his hands on a rag.

“Hey, sweetheart. Sorry that took so long.”

“It’s no problem.”

“Oh, I was talking to Maggie.” Dean smirked and Cas rolled his eyes.

“Sure you were.”

“So, late dinner? That diner’s open twenty-four hours.”

“Aren’t you tired?” Dean’s smirked slipped into a soft smile.

“Never too tired to take you out.” Cas moved into Dean’s space and kissed him.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, Cas. Dinner?”

“Why don’t we go home and I’ll cook? I need to get Maggie home.”

“All right. Come on.” Cas waited in the Impala while Dean locked up, then rested his head on Dean’s shoulder the entire drive back to the apartment, the smile never quite leaving his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be Wednesday!


	54. Chapter 54

Sam straightened Dean’s tie before smiling.

“Nervous?”

“Yeah, but it’s the good kind of nervous.”

“I can’t believe you’re getting married. I’m so proud of you. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I always kinda thought I’d be getting married first.” Dean chuckled.

“Yeah, I did, too, Sammy. How’s Cas doing?”

“Gabe says he’s fine.”

“Huh.” Dean chewed his lip. “I think I would’ve felt better if you said he wasn’t fine.” Sam smiled.

“Everything’s good, Dean, I promise. You’re about to get married. Just focus on that.” That was precisely what Dean was trying _not_ to think about. He was a nervous wreck. Every single negative thought he had ever had about himself was resurfacing. It was taking every ounce of strength not to run out, get in Baby, and drive until he didn’t know where he was. He took a deep, calming breath. Sam’s phone beeped. He groaned when he looked at it.

“Balthazar’s in total meltdown mode and Gabe says Cas is about two seconds away from killing him. Are you gonna be okay by yourself while I deal with this?”

“I’ll be fine. And feel free to duct tape Balthazar’s mouth and…anything else until this is over. I don’t need anything upsetting Cas.”

“Got it. I’ll be right back.” Sam left and Dean breathed a little easier. He loved his little brother, but Sam had become a little overbearing as the wedding got closer. He knew it was because he cared, but all Dean really wanted was a few quiet minutes to himself. A knock came at the door and he sighed.

“Yeah?” Charlie came in.

“Hey, Handmaiden.” That got Dean to smile.

“Hey, Your Highness. You look beautiful. Can’t believe Gilda got you into a dress.”

“The things I do for that woman. You look very handsome, by the way. Cas is a lucky guy.”

“I hope he thinks so.”

“Oh, don’t do that,” Charlie chided. She crossed the room and straightened his tie. “He loves you. You’re handsome and charming and fun. You two bring out the best in each other.”

“Thanks, kiddo.” Dean paused. “Hey, is Bela here?” Charlie grimaced a little.

“Yeah, she’s here. Begrudgingly, but she’s here. I wouldn’t try to talk to her.”

“I just feel like there’s some things we never talked about. I need her to know that—.”

“She knows,” Charlie cut in gently. “This is just gonna take some time. She’s happy for you, she just won’t let herself admit it yet. It’ll be okay.”

“You’re sure?”

“Positive.”

“All right. How’s everyone getting along?”

“Great! Your friends from Lawrence are awesome!” Dean sighed with relief. That had been the other big thing bothering him. The last thing he needed was his old friends and his new friends getting into a fight.

“Thank God.” Charlie’s phone went off and she squeal.

“Ten minutes. Come on, we’ve gotta go. Oh, and are you two seriously walking down the aisle to _Eye of the Tiger_?”

“Fuck, yeah! Cas put me in charge of music for a reason.” Charlie laughed and shook her head.

“You two are ridiculous.”

“Maybe.” That was a fair assessment. Instead of getting married in a church like “normal people”, as Cas put it, they were getting married on the beach. They had rented several beach houses for the weekend and Charlie had been nice enough to lay out a rainbow-colored cobblestone path from the edge of the sand to the arbor. They also weren’t getting married by a priest because…Dean still wasn’t sure about that one, but Cas wanted to be married by a friend, so that’s what they did.

The next few minutes were a whirlwind of people. He didn’t remember much except snapping, after the tenth time someone tried to straighten his tie,

“I’m not straight so why does my tie have to be?” After that, Sam kept him away from everyone until it was time to walk down the aisle. Seeing Cas for the first time in twenty-four hours sent a rush of feelings so strong Dean couldn’t even describe them. All he could do was smile, which was more than enough for the moment. _Eye of the Tiger_ started playing and Cas didn’t say a word as they walked down the aisle together. They approached the arbor at the same time and faced each other as the music stopped.

“Dearly beloved,” Chuck began, “we have gathered here to join the hearts and minds of these two men in holy matrimony. Love is so common, yet so rare. We find it in the most ordinary places in the most extraordinary ways. We think it may not happen to us, but it does. Love is something not to be taken lightly and should be cherished. It is the uplift and downfall of man. Love is patient and kind, a garden of all good in the world and a promise of hope. They will stick together in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until death do them part and beyond. Now for the vows.” This was the part Dean was worried about. He had insisted they write their own and was then hit the startling realization that he had no idea what to say. Thankfully, Cas went first.

“Dean, wedding vows are stupid. I wanted to just use the standard ones and move on, but this was the only thing you really pushed for so here it is. I never thought the day would come that I actually settled down and got married, but here we are, and I’ve never been happier than I am right now. I’m crazy about you. I love you so much it physically hurts to be away from you. I know this wedding isn’t exactly what you wanted, and I know we had more than our share of fights while planning it, but that doesn’t matter anymore. All that matters is that we’re here, and we love each other, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. You’re so much more amazing than you give yourself credit for and I’m gonna spend every single day reminding you you just how selfless, caring, and perfect you are. I love you.” Dean wasn’t even pretending he wasn’t crying. Chuck look at him. He took a breath to get a grip on himself.

“Cas, I know I pushed you to write vows and I probably shouldn’t have because there aren’t enough words in any language, not that I know more than English, to explain how I feel about you. Whenever we’re together, I swear the world seems brighter. And when you’re gone, even if it’s only for ten minutes to go to the store to get some milk because you forgot even though I told you to write it down, I feel an emptiness that nothing could ever fill. You’re so full of life and energy and spirit and I wanna share very single moment with you. I have never loved, and never will love, anyone more than I love you. I know I’m not the most expressive person in the world, but I’m working on it and I’m gonna spend every minute that we’re together showing you how I feel when words don’t work. I love you.”

“Now for the rings.” Dean and Cas slid the silver wedding bands onto each other’s fingers. Chuck smiled. “By the power vested in me by the state of California, I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss the groom.”

“That’s okay,” Dean said, “you can call him a bride.” Everyone burst out laughing as Dean pulled Cas into firm, but gentle kiss.

“I love you,” Cas whispered against Dean’s lips.

“I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last update will be tomorrow!


	55. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last update! I meant to do this earlier, but I was sleeping and then...life. Anyway, enjoy!

Five Years Later

“Daddy, Claire pushed me off the swing!” Cas looked up from the sketch he was working on. Jack came running in the front door with Claire not far behind him. She was rolling her eyes.

“I did _not_ push him off. I was pushing him and he let go.”

“Liar! You did it on purpose!”

“You kept telling me higher!”

“Enough,” Dean said from the kitchen. Jack and Claire both fell silent and Cas smiled just a little. He loved when Dean went full Dad on their kids. “Jack, you know you’re not supposed to be on the swing unless on of us is out there watching you. Claire, Jack is your younger brother. It’s your job to look out for him when we can’t. Understood?”

“Sure, Dad,” Claire said with a hint of annoyance. Dean didn’t point it out. Jack went over to Cas.

“Daddy, will you push me on the swing?” Cas smiled.

“Of course, Jack.” He set down his sketchpad and went outside with Jack. As he pushed the six-year-old on the swing, he thought about how much had changed in five years. A year after they got married, Sam and Gabriel got married. A year after that, Dean had suggested adopting kids, which Cas was on board with as long as they moved. Another year later they bought a little house about ten minute from the beach. Six months later they had Claire. Jack came another year later.

Cas was happy. He missed seeing his friends and brother every single day, but he got all the dirt from Dean when he got home from work, and they all still had Trivia Night at the bar once a week. Cas was still selling his art and actually making a killing doing it. It was to the point that he was making almost twice as much as Dean, not that Dean ever complained. Cas’s phone went off in his pocket. He took it out and smiled at the picture before reading the text.

The picture was one of his favorites from their honeymoon. Dean had surprised him with a trip to all seven wonders of the world. Cas had mentioned wanting to see them all once and he was surprised that Dean had even remembered. It was just another testament to how romantic Dean could be, even without words.

**Dean [2:18pm]:** Me and Claire took over the TV for a Mario Kart battle sorry

Cas smiled. Claire had just turned fourteen and was beginning to develop an attitude. Despite not being blood related, she was a lot like Dean. That being said, Jack seemed to be taking after Cas. He was a sweet, wonderful boy. Cas knew that was bound to change as he grew up, but he was going to enjoy it while he could.

**Cas [2:19pm]:** That’s fine just make sure you’re done by dinner

**Dean [2:20pm]:** Yes dear

Cas laughed. He knew Dean was being sarcastic, but he also knew that Dean would make sure the TV was off in time for dinner. It was the only rule in the house that Cas ever really enforced. Dinner time was family time. He never had that when he was a kid and he wanted their kids to know that they were loved and respected.

Cas stayed outside with Jack until the sun began to set. When they walked back in, Claire and Dean were still mid-battle. Cas walked Jack upstairs, knowing how his daughter and husband got when they played Mario Kart. He didn’t understand it, but he liked that they had something to bond over. Even if it was videos games and bad rom-coms. From up in Jack’s room, he heard, “Claire, language,” and he chuckled. Dean cursed like a sailor, but he refused to hear that language from their kids until they were eighteen.

Cas got Jack cleaned up from rolling around in the dirt, then went back downstairs. He sat on the couch to watch Dean and Claire play.

“Dad, what’s for dinner?” Claire asked, not taking her eyes off the TV.

“Pizza,” Dean answered.

“Excuse me, I believe she was talking to me?”

“Come on, Cas, it’s easy and they deserve it after the day they’ve had.”

“Dean, it’s summer vacation. Jack spent all day playing outside and Claire slept until noon.”

“Okay, fine, so _I_ deserve pizza after the day _I’ve_ had.”

“You ducked out of work early because you missed me.” Dean paused the game to look up at his husband.

“Ya know, you don’t always have to call me out on my bull. I want pizza.” Cas laughed.

“I’m not arguing with you, Dean, I was just pointing out that she was talking to me.” Dean stared at him for a moment before rolling his eyes. He unpaused the game.

Later that night, long after Jack and Claire had gone to bed, Dean and Cas stayed up on the couch. Dean was watching TV with his feet up on the coffee table. Cas had his head in Dean’s lap as he finished up the commission he was working on. That had become routine for them. It was quiet and peaceful. Two words Cas never thought he would use to describe his life, but he was okay with it. Kids were more than spontaneous enough to keep him interested. He tipped his head back to look up at his husband.

“I love you, Dean.” Dean smiled.

“I love you, too, Cas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Love you guys! ❤️❤️❤️❤️


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